Anonymous wrote:OP, what makes you think your brother would even want your cousin's baby? If he thinks she's a mess, he probably will think that the baby will be a mess (FAS, drug addiction, etc.) and he most likely wouldn't want the baby anyway.

I don't think you need to worry about this at all. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, a family member is giving her baby up. It was brought up around family by her mother....without thinking, I blurted out that my husband and I would step in (because I knew we would without a thought). The mother pulled me aside and said that she was happy to hear that because she's been heartbroken when thinking of the baby going to some random person outside of the family. The family member already has the kids, one of which is in custody of my aunt and uncle. The other two are still with the mother but she cannot afford to keep the baby that she is now pregnant with which is why adoption is becoming an option. The family member reached out to my husband and I and is seriously considering us. It becomes tricky because my brother and his wife have been looking to adopt and have been saving money, they cannot have children on their own. My husband and I have been TTTC for six months with no luck and even if we had kids now or were currently pregnant, I would still persue this child. The family member does not want the baby to go to my brother and has made it clear that it would only be me and my husband because we are the only ones who have kept in contact with her and loved her through her mess of a life...which it is very messy.

If this does work out, I can see very, VERY hard feelings in my family because my brother and his wife really want a child. I'm torn between going further into this or just letting this go so I don't cause a huge fiasco within the family. Thoughts?

This is not sticky. Your brother can only control how he responds. He cannot control your actions and the wishes of the mother, which are in sync. You proceed with the adoption and love that baby. You keep the lines open with your brother and move on. Congratulations.

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, a family member is giving her baby up. It was brought up around family by her mother....without thinking, I blurted out that my husband and I would step in (because I knew we would without a thought). The mother pulled me aside and said that she was happy to hear that because she's been heartbroken when thinking of the baby going to some random person outside of the family. The family member already has the kids, one of which is in custody of my aunt and uncle. The other two are still with the mother but she cannot afford to keep the baby that she is now pregnant with which is why adoption is becoming an option. The family member reached out to my husband and I and is seriously considering us. It becomes tricky because my brother and his wife have been looking to adopt and have been saving money, they cannot have children on their own. My husband and I have been TTTC for six months with no luck and even if we had kids now or were currently pregnant, I would still persue this child. The family member does not want the baby to go to my brother and has made it clear that it would only be me and my husband because we are the only ones who have kept in contact with her and loved her through her mess of a life...which it is very messy.

If this does work out, I can see very, VERY hard feelings in my family because my brother and his wife really want a child. I'm torn between going further into this or just letting this go so I don't cause a huge fiasco within the family. Thoughts?