Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! Through my job, I have learned that the majority of parents believe their children are gifted.

Well, of course I think my child is utterly remarkable, but I didn't think my kid was gifted when the school classified him as such in a first area, and I still don't now that he's classified in yet another area. He's curious and bright, but gifted? Nah.

This. Both my children are clearly more wonderful (to me) than any other children in the world. They are both objectively bright and both were identified as eligible for gifted services. But I think only one of them is gifted, in the sense of really having a different way of thinking about things and really having special talents that distinguish him from the crowd. My other child is curious and bright and quite intellectual, but not different.

Why must "different" be a qualifier for "gifted"? I have two boys who tested within three or four points on IQ tests. One is a complete oddball. The other is the most well rounded "normal" everybody-loves-him kid around. Their intellectual capabilities are quite similar. Is my oddball the gifted one and my normal kid merely bright?

I think a good number of kids are very bright, and a high quality school system generally serves them very well. A very, very, very small number of kids are off-the-charts bright (genius), or are very bright (maybe not genius) but different in the way they learn and/or think about things (this would include children who are smart but struggle with learning disabilities). That same high quality school system often doesn't work as well for these kids. I think of "special" education as something that should be designed to serve the needs of kids who aren't well-served in a regular classroom--both because they struggle with learning disabilities/difficulties and because they are "gifted." My "merely bright" kid excels in a regular classroom; he doesn't need special services to do well (though he enjoys them). My "gifted" kid chafed against the confines of the regular elementary school classroom and clearly ached for a different approach (though he had no learning issues at all). He was well-served by special services for gifted kids (though he could have used much more of them; if we could have afforded it, a private progressive elementary and middle school likely would have been a better environment for him. Happily, he has thrived in our public high school.).

JMO.

I have absolutely nothing on paper to suggest that my child is gifted, and in fact she finds math pretty trick and difficult. But she is a strong reader (even so, not in the top reading group) with a deep, deep imagination and a sort of weird wiseness about things.

I believe she is gifted, though I don't push this with teachers or ask them to change her groups (unless it's to move her down because of anxiousness). But I've never asked for a teacher meeting to discuss my kid's special gifts or requested the teacher to move her to more difficult groups or push her harder. If a time comes when my kid's grades or scores or whatever back me up, and the school should be providing some service but isn't providing it, THEN I will ask for a meeting. But our school is pretty on top of things, I don't see that happening.

I don't think this is crazy or bad. We are the guardians of our kids' best interests and we have to look out for them. And I think it's good to see something special in your own kid that teachers who just spend 9 months a year with them and 20 other kids might not see. I'm not being pushy about it. But I think my kid is gifted. Maybe yours is, too.

IQ and WISC don't lie!

Anonymous wrote:My kid scored 121 out of 125 on her PALs test in K. Teacher told us to put her in private school. Catholic school did IQ test in second grade and told us she would do well in a more academically challenging environment. In fact, the teacher said DD had a brain but wasn't using it. Later in sixth grade she did CTY. I guess teachers know which kid is bright even if parents don't.

If you were advised to put her in private because of her intelligence, why on earth would you put her in Catholic? Catholic schools are not more academically rigorous than most public schools around here! As you later found out when your Catholic school told you to send her somewhere more academically challenging.

Anonymous wrote:

+1 Asians under value natural abilities bc they know that no matter how talented, you can't get anywhere without hard work. Also, natural ability you have no control over, hard work you do. The most successful have talent + practice, practice, practice. You can't get to Carnegie Hall without practice even if you are a child prodigy.

Sure you can, and people do, all the time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In affluent areas, parents push their children to excel and exploit the term to get them more challenging work so they can beat the competition.

As an affluent parent, why would I worry about this "competition" you speak of? The whole point of being rich is to buy my kid an easier road.

And you think it is a good idea to contribute yet another entitled, spoiled human being to society, because....?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP about Asian-American parents. The AA parents I know tend to actually undervalue natural-born abilities and believe that their children can achieve a certain level solely due to hard work. This can be good for some kids but it can create unrealistic pressure for other kids.

I'm an Asian Am. parent. My older DC is in a gifted program. I think there are people with natural abilities, but that doesn't mean they don't have to work at it to be better. Some people find math easy, but they still need to study, do HW, etc... I don't think all kids can do well in everything they put their mind to. Some of it is just natural ability. But, I tell my kids I don't expect perfect grades, but do expect them to try their best as much as they can. This kind of attitude will get you further in life than just getting good grades.

+1 Asians under value natural abilities bc they know that no matter how talented, you can't get anywhere without hard work. Also, natural ability you have no control over, hard work you do. The most successful have talent + practice, practice, practice. You can't get to Carnegie Hall without practice even if you are a child prodigy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For $40000 a year they should be gifted. If your school costs considerably less, maybe not.

This is the most ridiculous comment I have EVER seen on DCUM.

Come on.

Her comment is funny...and true.

Private school teacher here. I think when the parents of students who are doing fine ask for a meeting, it is very likely because they want to complain about an A- or not being in the highest level group. It's not most parents, but it's most parents that request meetings when there is no obvious struggle.

That being said, when you're constantly trying to put out fires it's easy to lose sight of the quiet ones who do "fine" and get by, even when they need support, so it's good you contacted the teacher and it's good she was responsive. I always appreciate such reminders and conversations.

Anonymous wrote:For $40000 a year they should be gifted. If your school costs considerably less, maybe not.

This is the most ridiculous comment I have EVER seen on DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP about Asian-American parents. The AA parents I know tend to actually undervalue natural-born abilities and believe that their children can achieve a certain level solely due to hard work. This can be good for some kids but it can create unrealistic pressure for other kids.

I'm an Asian Am. parent. My older DC is in a gifted program. I think there are people with natural abilities, but that doesn't mean they don't have to work at it to be better. Some people find math easy, but they still need to study, do HW, etc... I don't think all kids can do well in everything they put their mind to. Some of it is just natural ability. But, I tell my kids I don't expect perfect grades, but do expect them to try their best as much as they can. This kind of attitude will get you further in life than just getting good grades.

I agree with PP about Asian-American parents. The AA parents I know tend to actually undervalue natural-born abilities and believe that their children can achieve a certain level solely due to hard work. This can be good for some kids but it can create unrealistic pressure for other kids.

Most of the Asian moms I know do not think that their children are "Gifted".

They do think that their children are capable of achieving academic competence if they are given enrichment opportunities and support as well as if they work hard.

I know some parents like this. In K the little girl was better at reading, writing, and math than most of the class. But she was also 1.5 years older than everyone else. Now in 3rd the other kids have caught up, especially the boys. The little girl comes home saying she is dumb because some kids are finishing tests before her and getting better scores. It's sad really.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! Through my job, I have learned that the majority of parents believe their children are gifted.

Well, of course I think my child is utterly remarkable, but I didn't think my kid was gifted when the school classified him as such in a first area, and I still don't now that he's classified in yet another area. He's curious and bright, but gifted? Nah.

This. Both my children are clearly more wonderful (to me) than any other children in the world. They are both objectively bright and both were identified as eligible for gifted services. But I think only one of them is gifted, in the sense of really having a different way of thinking about things and really having special talents that distinguish him from the crowd. My other child is curious and bright and quite intellectual, but not different.

Why must "different" be a qualifier for "gifted"? I have two boys who tested within three or four points on IQ tests. One is a complete oddball. The other is the most well rounded "normal" everybody-loves-him kid around. Their intellectual capabilities are quite similar. Is my oddball the gifted one and my normal kid merely bright?