Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young mothers today are so spoiled and entitled.

Please - just get up with your baby yourself. It is part of the experience as well as bonding. Moms and Dads have been doing it for generations.

uh fuck you i'm not going to martyr myself when i'm rich and have an important professional job

which is incidentally how i was raised by my amazing CEO mom who i have always had a wonderful relationship with

Wow. "I'm rich and important, so why should I bother to do the tough parts of parenting? I'll just hire out the tough stuff."

Your poor kid. What is the plan? To have the nanny dress them up in a cute outfit for the annual Christmas photo, and spend 10 minutes with them before dinner until they are old enough for boarding school?

I had serious PPD, and if DH's job has prevented him from stepping up, I would have looked into a night nanny. So no judgment on that. But I am judinging PP's snotty entitled, why sacrific for my kid? attitude.

Newborn Care Specialist here. I think it is important to know that the industry has moved away from the term "night nurse" because if you are hiring independently and they are a) not a RN or LPN and b) advertise as a "night nurse" then that tells you somethinf about how much time they have spent learning about their field. Experience is important, but there is lots of misinformation and unsafe practices out there so you really want to be sure that they have experience caring for newborns WHILE USING BEST PRACTICES.

What I have seen is basically three tiers:

Newborn nanny: someone who has worked with newborns for a long time. Again, i would be cautious with this group unless you are hiring someone through a reputable agency. You want to know that they will be practicing and teaching you the safest way to care for a newborn.

Newborn Care Specialist: a true NCS should be certified (usually through NCSA) and should therefore have at least 1800 hours of newborn experience as well as classes certifying they have studied best practices.

Night Nurse: a true night nurse is an RN or LPN who also cares for newborns. These women are extraordinary, but unless you have a medically needy baby you probably don't need a night nurse specifically.

People have hired me everywhere from 6 days per week to only one. Reasons vary widely:
Mom struggling with PPD or PPA
Twins
Single parent
Parent returning to work early
Parents without much/any prior newborn experience
Colic
Reflux
One parent had minimal leave and a long work day
SAHM with existing child who needs to be attent to both kids during the day
Just occasional date nights

In some cases the parents truely never get up at night with the baby/ies. I've had several twin parents like that who handled two babies all day but said they could only manage that with at least 6 hours of sleep at night. Many others get up at night even if I am there, in which case I might bring baby in to nurse but mom can go right back to sleep while I burp, swaddle and soothe baby back to sleep. That can be the difference between 20 minutes awake each feed or an hour awake and can be very helpful for mom.

In addition, many new parents value having an expert there to troubleshoot and advise them. Everything from learning how to swaddle to establishing a routine can be helpful. Some people actually hire me only during day hours and spend a portion of the time just shadowing me and talking through how and why to do things.

A typical overnight looks like this:
I arrive and put my things away. I speak with the parent(s) about the day/week and we discuss any concerns or questions they have and any scheduling things I need to know for the baby.
They go to bed.
I wash and prep any bottles I will need, then I compose an email addressing anything they asked about, with links to reputable sources so that they have a written, supported document they can refer back to.
I sit or lie down in baby's room and rest until baby wakes, then I either feed baby or bring baby in to nurse, then burp, change, swaddle, soothe etc. until baby is sleeping safely in his or her own bed. Repeat a few times until my shift ends. Before the end of my shift I wash all bottles I've used and prep bottles as needed for daytime feeds. I also send the parents a written schedule of feeds, diapers, sleep times, etc. along with the email I composed earlier. If there is anything I need to show the parents hands-on, I might do that in the morning.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young mothers today are so spoiled and entitled.

Please - just get up with your baby yourself. It is part of the experience as well as bonding. Moms and Dads have been doing it for generations.

It's not the young mothers- it's the 40 year old granny moms who are too old to be having babies.

Well you just feel like being mean.

BUT, at 36, I will say that being an older mom makes you better at choosing who to listen to for advice. I know that I'm much better at being a mom now than I would have been in my 20s or early 30s. Plus, I've had a demanding career - so taking care of my baby is definitely NOT the hardest thing I've done. I've lost way more sleep for my demanding job and I know I'm a better mom b/c I know how to really work and get shit done.

Anonymous wrote:We may do this too. The thought of being up all night every night severely depresses me.

I thought I'd be/feel this way, but I didn't. BUT, I read up on baby sleep before baby was born and ended up "lucky" with a good sleeper from 2+ months. It's TOTALLY possible not to martyr yourself. Of course, there is the chance of a difficult baby, but most are average babies with normal challenges. I'd save the money for night nurses until weeks 6-8 - that seems to be a low point for most people. Baby hits some development milestones that make it grumpy and it's been too long w/out good sleep for mom and dad at that point.

^^ So sorry, yuck. Just reread my post and realized it sounds like a badly worded advertisement. Hope you find what works for you, OP. Congrats on your new addition!

Hi OP,

I was a surrogate for a family (that did not live locally) that then hired a night nurse for their twins.

Their night nurse did so much more for them than wake up with their twins at night for feedings and changing. If I had been more local, I would have worked for them as their night nurse to help them transition into the world of having (two) newborns.

I think the ultimate trust is as an Intended Parent in that of your Gestation Surrogate. So with that being said, as a GS, I hope to provide excellent references from my former Intended Parents. I would love to be a night nurse, am a currently licensed Registered Nurse, and hope that anyone else that's reading this thread considers, yes - there's a considerable cost to having a night nurse, but there's also considerable piece of mind. And sleep!

I would love to find the right family to help be there through the overnights. It's all about the right fit. I hope you find your family, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young mothers today are so spoiled and entitled.

Please - just get up with your baby yourself. It is part of the experience as well as bonding. Moms and Dads have been doing it for generations.

It's not the young mothers- it's the 40 year old granny moms who are too old to be having babies.

Or someone with an emergency c-section with twins and a spouse deployed overseas. I hope everyone in your life treats you with as much venom as you put into these comments.

New poster here but I think you are projecting "venom" as I didn't read it like that at all. I think the poster is just tired of the complaining.

And seriously, what percentage of new mothers in the USA had c-section twins while her husband was deployed? Maybe .00001% of all births in 2016 were c-section twins with partners on active duty overseas.

Please stop the silly drama, PP.

Hi sock-puppet insulting PP. It's rude to call a 40 year old mom a granny, K?

There are plenty of people who outsource things and are able to pay for it, should we hate on them too? Like if you have a cleaning service, someone work on your garden, etc. If people can afford it and want to - it's their own personal business. If you can't afford any of it - move on, being a jerk does not have any positive effect on your own low budget situation.

np here. not a valid comparison. this is your child. it can be rough with a newborn. it's supposed to be. you both grow and bond over it. having a stranger feed and comfort your newborn child at night while you sleep is a pretty strange concept. unless absolutely necessary. i don't understand this wanting to have it all mindset. what is the point of having children if you don't care for them, to have heirs?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless they have a nursing degree , they can not be called night nurses. They are newborn care specialist (if they have that training) or night nanny.

Says who? Wet nurses weren't certified nurses either. Can you be said to be nursing your baby if you're not an RN or the like? It's just a traditional use of the word.

Good point.

Says all the classes and trainings I took to become a newborn care specialist.

And wet nurse really what is this 1742


Night nurse is an old term and outdated. And not used unless the nurse has nurse training, this is for certified reasons. You can't call a person a lawyer unless they pass the bar, you can't call someone a doctor unless they have the degree, night nurse is the same.

NCS take specialized trainings, many nurses take ncs trains to expand there career after nursing.



https://www.enannysource.com/nanny-doctor/newborn-nanny.aspx

I used Metropolitan Doulas for several weeks, $34.50/hr. Everyone we had was great.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

I tried searching the archives, but was unsuccessful in finding a helpful thread I recall from a few months ago. Someone posted a night nanny website and I think they charged less than $20/hr. Anyone remember this company? I'd love to give them a call!

Found it!
http://www.tiredmomshelper.com/services.html

Has anyone used this company and hAve any feedback? $17/hr is so much less than the others out there- if it's reputable, this would be amazing

[b]

Pay peanuts, you get monkeys. My rate is $35-40/hr, 20 years experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young mothers today are so spoiled and entitled.

Please - just get up with your baby yourself. It is part of the experience as well as bonding. Moms and Dads have been doing it for generations.

uh fuck you i'm not going to martyr myself when i'm rich and have an important professional job

which is incidentally how i was raised by my amazing CEO mom who i have always had a wonderful relationship with

Hope you aren't the op.

why

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless they have a nursing degree , they can not be called night nurses. They are newborn care specialist (if they have that training) or night nanny.

Says who? Wet nurses weren't certified nurses either. Can you be said to be nursing your baby if you're not an RN or the like? It's just a traditional use of the word.

Good point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young mothers today are so spoiled and entitled.

Please - just get up with your baby yourself. It is part of the experience as well as bonding. Moms and Dads have been doing it for generations.

uh fuck you i'm not going to martyr myself when i'm rich and have an important professional job

which is incidentally how i was raised by my amazing CEO mom who i have always had a wonderful relationship with

Hope you aren't the op.

Anonymous wrote:Young mothers today are so spoiled and entitled.

Please - just get up with your baby yourself. It is part of the experience as well as bonding. Moms and Dads have been doing it for generations.

uh fuck you i'm not going to martyr myself when i'm rich and have an important professional job

which is incidentally how i was raised by my amazing CEO mom who i have always had a wonderful relationship with

We got daytime help instead. It was so much cheaper.