Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 21:58     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
my biggest fear: the death of my spouse
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 21:00     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
Anonymous wrote:Thank you for fat shaming, OP and others who agreed. Getting or being fat is the worst thing we women can do, and it makes us worthless as humans. Even if we cheat, are cruel, throw the household into debt, abuse our husbands and children, maybe kill the dog, if we do so as thin people we haven't done the worst.



Within the context of this thread, there's nothing at all wrong with *being* fat.
Any dude who dates and marries a fatty, to him I say "good on you" and wish for everlasting love and happiness.

But for a wife to *get* fat? Meaning she was thin while dating, thin at the wedding, then plumped up like 40+ pounds?
Yes that IS the worst.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 19:39     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People rarely "turn" into something they are not initially, so keep your eyes open.

If you are fearful, don't get married. Problem solved.


Wish I hadn't.

Got married last September. Leading up to that, we had sex 3 times a week. Since September, we've has sex TWICE. Here I am newly married 5 months and I'm on this miserable message board with a bunch of crusty old broads.

I'm seriously considering cutting bait now, because my future seems bleak.


Cut and run, baby.


Yes, She's talking about kids, but there is no way (first not even sure how we could conceive them). I'm thinking I'll just consider this a starter marriage. I need to pull the plug, but I just need to get on it. I don't really care to work on this either. We shouldn't even be having this problem and even it if gets fixed temporarily, clearly sex is not a priority for her and I doubt it will change. I think her goal was just to get married.


Oh please, no blaming others for the shitty choices you made!
Who am I blaming? I was engaged to a woman who I had sex with 3 times a week untilt he day we married. We've been married now for 5 months and we've had sex 2xs. How could I have prevented this outcome, exactly? I think my situation is unusual that it happened so quickly, for most couples it is a downward spiral over the course of years.

Regardless, I will cut and run and hopefully the next man she marries, is equally as uninterested in sex.


So get a divorce or an annulment! If you're not having sex at five months, then you're not going to have sex at all after you have kids.

Look, you're not compatible, so walk away and start over. Changing people is impossible and a waste of time. Change yourself and your situation by ending it.

Signed,
Happily married DW for 20+ years who's watched friends go through it
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 19:34     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
Anonymous wrote:A woman's biggest fear: Will this man become unemployed/underemployed during our marriage?

A man's biggest fear: Will this woman become fat during our marriage?

That's really what it comes down to. Every other 'risk' is some how rationalized away except for these two.


& how old are you, OP?
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 19:33     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People rarely "turn" into something they are not initially, so keep your eyes open.

If you are fearful, don't get married. Problem solved.


Wish I hadn't.

Got married last September. Leading up to that, we had sex 3 times a week. Since September, we've has sex TWICE. Here I am newly married 5 months and I'm on this miserable message board with a bunch of crusty old broads.

I'm seriously considering cutting bait now, because my future seems bleak.


Cut and run, baby.


Yes, She's talking about kids, but there is no way (first not even sure how we could conceive them). I'm thinking I'll just consider this a starter marriage. I need to pull the plug, but I just need to get on it. I don't really care to work on this either. We shouldn't even be having this problem and even it if gets fixed temporarily, clearly sex is not a priority for her and I doubt it will change. I think her goal was just to get married.


Oh please, no blaming others for the shitty choices you made!
Who am I blaming? I was engaged to a woman who I had sex with 3 times a week untilt he day we married. We've been married now for 5 months and we've had sex 2xs. How could I have prevented this outcome, exactly? I think my situation is unusual that it happened so quickly, for most couples it is a downward spiral over the course of years.

Regardless, I will cut and run and hopefully the next man she marries, is equally as uninterested in sex.


Sex to get the ring. Withhold so that you relent on the kids. Scheduled sex until she gets pregnant, than nothing until/unless she wants another.

Classic bait and switch. Get out while you can (i.e., before kids). Condom or vasectomy until then.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 15:39     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
Anonymous wrote:Thank you for fat shaming, OP and others who agreed. Getting or being fat is the worst thing we women can do, and it makes us worthless as humans. Even if we cheat, are cruel, throw the household into debt, abuse our husbands and children, maybe kill the dog, if we do so as thin people we haven't done the worst.


Just going off the 'complaints' on DCUM's relationship board - cheating, abuse, debt, etc are more rationalized away than turning fat.

Conversely for women, based on DCUM threads and anecdotal evidence in DC, rationalize away all of these things as well as long as the husband is gainfully employed and doing well financially.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 12:59     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
Biggest fears:
He will be an awful husband and father, too preoccupied with work.

She will expect me to help around the house.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 12:16     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A woman's biggest fear: Will this man become unemployed/underemployed during our marriage?

A man's biggest fear: Will this woman become fat during our marriage?

That's really what it comes down to. Every other 'risk' is some how rationalized away except for these two.


I guess DH and I are an anomoly. I was already fat. I worked a great job so DH's job did not matter as much.


+1

Same here! DH and I met and fell in love when I was my heaviest weight ever. I lost 25 lbs after we got married. And we could easily survive on my income; DH's job is just bonus money.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 12:12     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
Anonymous wrote:Thank you for fat shaming, OP and others who agreed. Getting or being fat is the worst thing we women can do, and it makes us worthless as humans. Even if we cheat, are cruel, throw the household into debt, abuse our husbands and children, maybe kill the dog, if we do so as thin people we haven't done the worst.

These are just a few silly folks in a large population of far reasonable adults

DCUM fatness never gets in the way of people's happiness. Heck, much fatter fatness often doesn't. Okay, super-duper fatness, like 600 lbs will most likely do.

--Fat wife whose DH wouldn't shut up to his sister about how happy he is and how great his life has turned out
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 12:11     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
Anonymous wrote:
That's all I have to do to be a good wife? Not get fat? I'm a smashing success then! That was easy.


lol...right? It's assumed that you will also clean the house and keep it running, prepare most of the meals, bring in at least 1/3 of the income, manage your social lives, and bear and care for any children that come along. And don't nag him if he doesn't "help you" with YOUR work.


Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 12:09     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People rarely "turn" into something they are not initially, so keep your eyes open.

If you are fearful, don't get married. Problem solved.


Wish I hadn't.

Got married last September. Leading up to that, we had sex 3 times a week. Since September, we've has sex TWICE. Here I am newly married 5 months and I'm on this miserable message board with a bunch of crusty old broads.

I'm seriously considering cutting bait now, because my future seems bleak.


Cut and run, baby.


Yes, She's talking about kids, but there is no way (first not even sure how we could conceive them). I'm thinking I'll just consider this a starter marriage. I need to pull the plug, but I just need to get on it. I don't really care to work on this either. We shouldn't even be having this problem and even it if gets fixed temporarily, clearly sex is not a priority for her and I doubt it will change. I think her goal was just to get married.


Oh please, no blaming others for the shitty choices you made!
Who am I blaming? I was engaged to a woman who I had sex with 3 times a week untilt he day we married. We've been married now for 5 months and we've had sex 2xs. How could I have prevented this outcome, exactly? I think my situation is unusual that it happened so quickly, for most couples it is a downward spiral over the course of years.

Regardless, I will cut and run and hopefully the next man she marries, is equally as uninterested in sex.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 12:07     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People rarely "turn" into something they are not initially, so keep your eyes open.

If you are fearful, don't get married. Problem solved.


Wish I hadn't.

Got married last September. Leading up to that, we had sex 3 times a week. Since September, we've has sex TWICE. Here I am newly married 5 months and I'm on this miserable message board with a bunch of crusty old broads.

I'm seriously considering cutting bait now, because my future seems bleak.


Did you make vows when you got married? Did they mean anything to you at all? If you're ready to run after 5 months, do her a favor and actually do it.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 12:02     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
Thank you for fat shaming, OP and others who agreed. Getting or being fat is the worst thing we women can do, and it makes us worthless as humans. Even if we cheat, are cruel, throw the household into debt, abuse our husbands and children, maybe kill the dog, if we do so as thin people we haven't done the worst.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 11:07     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People rarely "turn" into something they are not initially, so keep your eyes open.

If you are fearful, don't get married. Problem solved.


Wish I hadn't.

Got married last September. Leading up to that, we had sex 3 times a week. Since September, we've has sex TWICE. Here I am newly married 5 months and I'm on this miserable message board with a bunch of crusty old broads.

I'm seriously considering cutting bait now, because my future seems bleak.


Cut and run, baby.


Yes, She's talking about kids, but there is no way (first not even sure how we could conceive them). I'm thinking I'll just consider this a starter marriage. I need to pull the plug, but I just need to get on it. I don't really care to work on this either. We shouldn't even be having this problem and even it if gets fixed temporarily, clearly sex is not a priority for her and I doubt it will change. I think her goal was just to get married.


Oh please, no blaming others for the shitty choices you made!
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 11:04     Subject: The biggest fear a woman & man has when getting married.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A woman's biggest fear: Will this man become unemployed/underemployed during our marriage?

A man's biggest fear: Will this woman become fat during our marriage?

That's really what it comes down to. Every other 'risk' is some how rationalized away except for these two.


That's all I have to do to be a good wife? Not get fat? I'm a smashing success then! That was easy.

Um, this is the thinking of men who are too immature to be married even when they are 50. Though really my relative whines that guy would then complain that the skinny ones were 'dumb'. Omg, I didn't know that there were more of him in the world - how many emotionally stunted guys are out there then? Millions?

Very many, and not just guys. Relatively few people come from healthy functional families that don't stunt their emotional growth.