OP you don't need him. Look in the mirror- you have yourself! Treat yourself well by spending time with nice people.

He may be a sex addict. If he doesn't get help/evaluated by a professional, then you should move on, get out now. Don't marry him or have kids. It's much harder to leave then. Believe me, I know. I'm in the middle of it now.

The way you feel right now, is this how you want to feel for the rest of your life? Why would you sign up for this?

Anonymous wrote:Yes he is a loser and i told him to leave me alone plenty of times and i hung up on him about a thousand times but he keeps on coming back to me! I know of couples who had boyfriends or husbands like him and they have been together decades and since we have been together more than 3 years I worry I will be making a mistake by not giving him a chance.

"Past behavior is the best prediction of future behavior"
Dr. Phil

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So basically, nearly every month you were together he was in a date with someone else? Different women or the same woman? And how did you find out?

This does not bode well - because he seems to be of the serial cheater variety. What reasons did he give you for his cheating? If it's happening now when you're still in the honeymoon stage, without the stressors of marriage and children then seriously...he is not a trustworthy guy.

He was faithful for the first 1.5 years we were together then he confessed he wasn't for the 18 months after that. I felt we had a strong emotional bond/connection for the first 1.5 yrs but I did feel a disconnect after that (there was less attention) but what worries me is that he said he loved me everyday while he was cheating and looking for women. If the emotional bond I thought we had wasn't enough for him I'm not sure what is. He says he looked for women when he felt I wasn't communicating with him and he thought I was lying to him about certain things when I was not because he went on the advice of what his friends (who didn't like me) told him. All this he says caused him to not trust me. I found out through a friend who saw him on a dating app!

Ok. This is ridiculous! He cheated for half your relationship, chose his friends over you, his friends don't like you, he's blaming you for cheating. I mean, what else has to happen for you to Dump The Mofo Already?!?! (tm Dan Savage)

You've been together and he's cheated for half of it.

This relationship should be over. It's not about the business lunch. It's about the fact that he cannot be trusted and the two of you are not in a committed relationship. End it.

I'm also wondering age.

Anonymous wrote:What are you doing with a guy like this?

And what is he doing with you?

Move on honey. He's a serial cheater and won't change. Do you want to be here when you are40 and have little kids and he's leaving you for a mistress?

"When someone shows you their true colors, believe them."

He has showed you his true colors over and over again. If you stay with him, you are asking to be a doormat. There's no other way.

Anonymous wrote:I know of couples who had boyfriends or husbands like him and they have been together decades

And you want this sort of personal hell for yourself, for decades? That's your goal in life?

My cheating boyfriend drove me crazy for 4 years! I spent half the time crying or worrying. Your life does not have to be like this but it will be if you are with the wrong person.

OP, can you afford therapy? You could use some help to make you understand that things are over with this guy, and there is no working on it because it will never work, and you need help and support to make you strong enough to let go. Enough is enough. Do you feel you deserve someone who wants just you, will not cheat on you or lie to you?

I was with someone who was looking for other women during the years we were together, and all along he was telling me every day that he loved me. His words didn't match his actions, but I was too afraid and trusting and naively hoping he'd change to see that he was a cheating liar who didn't truly love me. And I didn't believe in myself. You must walk away from anyone who doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated. No working on it, no hoping they'll change. No tolerance.

OP, I get that it's hard, but you need to break up. You gave him a second chance and his response was to lie and cheat some more. If the initial issue didn't tell you what kind of person he is, his response to the second chance should.

All this angst over a BOYFRIEND? Get some self esteem and dump his ass. Worrying about every time he has a business lunch with a woman is no way to live.