Anonymous wrote:

Plenty of people with younger kids tour high schools, PP, particularly when they are choosing where to live.

If you say so. I do not know anybody who has ever done this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Thank you. That is a great way of looking at it and I will request a tour. As my concern is about highschool mainly, who do I contact to arrange a tour? The principal's office at the public school?

Yep, just call the school. Ask them for names of parents and PTA members you can talk to. This is totally normal! You really need to get a first-hand feel for things which you certainly can't get from DCUM.

OP, how many years away from high school is your child? I'm imagining this conversation.

You: Yes, hi, my child is zoned for this high school, and I would like to take a tour.
Office: OK, when you and your child like to come?
You: Actually, my child is only 7.
Office: I'm sorry, I don't understand. If your child is 7, why do you want to take a tour of the high school?
You: Because we might not have enough money to pay for private high school, and I would like to reassure myself now, if possible, that public high school is not as awful as I imagine.

Plenty of people with younger kids tour high schools, PP, particularly when they are choosing where to live.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Thank you. That is a great way of looking at it and I will request a tour. As my concern is about highschool mainly, who do I contact to arrange a tour? The principal's office at the public school?

Yep, just call the school. Ask them for names of parents and PTA members you can talk to. This is totally normal! You really need to get a first-hand feel for things which you certainly can't get from DCUM.

OP, how many years away from high school is your child? I'm imagining this conversation.

You: Yes, hi, my child is zoned for this high school, and I would like to take a tour.
Office: OK, when you and your child like to come?
You: Actually, my child is only 7.
Office: I'm sorry, I don't understand. If your child is 7, why do you want to take a tour of the high school?
You: Because we might not have enough money to pay for private high school, and I would like to reassure myself now, if possible, that public high school is not as awful as I imagine.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone ever go on there to read the posts? When you see the issues discussed there, does that reaffirm your committment to private school?

Just went in the PS forum and right away I saw posts discussing my biggest concerns about public schools, overcrowding and quality control. One poster wrote how useless the Spanish class at her child's ES school is and another wrote that after 4 years of Spanish instruction in the school, the child knew nothing. I see many PS parents post here in the private school forum praising their schools and trashing private, but I have never until today ventured on to the public school forum of this blog. From what I read on there today, I am convinced that private is the best way to go at least until 8th grade. I am still not sure if private highschool is worth it so will continue researching and asking parents with older kids. My kids are in 3rd and 1st grade.

Out of curiosity and in light of the latest tuition hike (our school was hit with 4.5%), I have started to quietly look into public schools in our neighborhood in VA. My husband grew up around here, but I did not so I do not know much about the public schools in this area other than what he tells me, which is that they are all terrible and that this is a non-negotiable no discussion issue for him and he will send kids to private no matter what the cost. I went to private where I grew up so when the kids came along, I didn't know any better so I just went along with him, and I am ok with continuing with private until 8th grade, but these tuitions scare me to death. Our HHI is $220k, but we live in an inherited home so we have no mortgage. For the moment we are ok, but we are in professions in which we have reached the upper limit of earnings so while we are able to manage at the moment, I am not sure once tuition hits 40k per kid, if that is something we can do and my husband is not even open to discussing this possibility, which is scary for me as I am a total planner and worrier.

My kids go to private for a host of reasons, one of which is family tradition, but our Spanish program sucks and my kids don't know any Spanish either. There are issues in every school and perhaps because your kids are so young, you haven't run into them yet at your school. Every family makes this decision for themselves and every choice has trade-offs. Enjoy your kids, enjoy your school and stop looking around for validation. You are making the right choice for your kids right now and that's all that really matters.

My husband and I both went to private school, we send our child to public charter school. Right now - we love it. We could afford private, but the charter is such a warm and wonderful place (with small class sizes) we aren't ready to leave.

The OPs rude post about "public school" reminded me exactly what I disliked about private schools. Rude, snobbish parents.

I'm glad we made the choice we did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Thank you for sharing. If you don't mind, can you also comment on the dynamics between the siblings with one being in private and the other in public? I am always curious with families that have one in each, do they ever make comments like why can't I got to that school to or how come my school doesn't have that? I personally would be so torn if I could only afford private for one and not the other.

Me again. My kids are fine with it because it's all they've ever know. They are three years apart and have never gone to school together. FWIW, we could afford private for both of them but only send the youngest because he's the one who needs the smaller class size. My oldest would be devastated if he had to change schools.

One of my kids is at a DC public charter, and the other is in private. The kid in private wants to go to the charter, the one in the charter really thinks the private kid should be in the charter because the charter is so much more fun. The same kid in the charter remarked about a classmate after the classmate's birthday party: "So and so must be really rich." I asked DC why? Answer: "Because they have a nice birthday party and can afford to go to a school like this [the charter]." I then had to inform DC that the school is free so that was not necessarily an indication of wealth--my kid had no clue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have one in public high school and one in private middle school and have found that parents whitewash their child's school no matter what they've chosen. Everyone wants to believe (and endeavors to project to others) that they've made the best possible decision for their children. The differences we've found are enormous and greatly favor the private school. It might not be $40,000 better for every family, but it's better in every way I can think of: curriculum, student behavior, skills development (critical thinking, writing, reading, research), foreign language, sciences, humanities, literature, general administration, teacher quality, homework (there's LOTS more of it in private school but it's also much more interesting and more useful). We've found them to be roughly equal in math education and in the extent and variety of preteen and teen social issues.

FWIW, we've found argumentative and/or snobby parents in both schools, and I don't think they affect my children's education so don't pay much attention. I also check both the DCPS and private school boards and find the parents equally catty, but about different things.

No, everyone doesn't (although it's possible that everybody you talk to does, I don't know). My kids go to our local zoned public schools. This wasn't a choice, except insofar as we chose to live where we live, which we did without knowing anything about the schools except that they were in Montgomery County. And I don't think that our local zoned public schools are the best possible schools for my kids. I'm not even sure there is such a thing. What I'm aiming for is "good enough". The schools are good enough for my kids. Things aren't perfect, but my kids are doing fine.

Sounds like you don't live somewhere that gives your family lots of options. In DC, you can apply for your kids to attend out-of-boundary public schools, charter schools, and any number of private or religious schools. Probably too many options.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are thinking about this the wrong way. It's not about public vs. private - it's about your specific public vs. your specific privates. There are some very low-performing private schools and some very high-performing publics. It's not black or white.

If you want to really investigate all your options go tour your public school while the kids are in there. Observe the classes, check out the schedule. Talk to other parents. Talk to the PTA. Then, if that school isn't acceptable, think about moving. That's what a lot of public school parents do- move to the area for the public school they like.

That said, if the money isn't a hardship and you are happy where you are, stay and enjoy.

Also, there's a great thread from a few days ago that asks parents who went to private school themselves and who send their kids to public why they chose to do so. I found it very interesting.

Thank you. That is a great way of looking at it and I will request a tour. As my concern is about highschool mainly, who do I contact to arrange a tour? The principal's office at the public school?

Yep, just call the school. Ask them for names of parents and PTA members you can talk to. This is totally normal! You really need to get a first-hand feel for things which you certainly can't get from DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:

I have one in public high school and one in private middle school and have found that parents whitewash their child's school no matter what they've chosen. Everyone wants to believe (and endeavors to project to others) that they've made the best possible decision for their children. The differences we've found are enormous and greatly favor the private school. It might not be $40,000 better for every family, but it's better in every way I can think of: curriculum, student behavior, skills development (critical thinking, writing, reading, research), foreign language, sciences, humanities, literature, general administration, teacher quality, homework (there's LOTS more of it in private school but it's also much more interesting and more useful). We've found them to be roughly equal in math education and in the extent and variety of preteen and teen social issues.

FWIW, we've found argumentative and/or snobby parents in both schools, and I don't think they affect my children's education so don't pay much attention. I also check both the DCPS and private school boards and find the parents equally catty, but about different things.

No, everyone doesn't (although it's possible that everybody you talk to does, I don't know). My kids go to our local zoned public schools. This wasn't a choice, except insofar as we chose to live where we live, which we did without knowing anything about the schools except that they were in Montgomery County. And I don't think that our local zoned public schools are the best possible schools for my kids. I'm not even sure there is such a thing. What I'm aiming for is "good enough". The schools are good enough for my kids. Things aren't perfect, but my kids are doing fine.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone ever go on there to read the posts? When you see the issues discussed there, does that reaffirm your committment to private school?

Just went in the PS forum and right away I saw posts discussing my biggest concerns about public schools, overcrowding and quality control. One poster wrote how useless the Spanish class at her child's ES school is and another wrote that after 4 years of Spanish instruction in the school, the child knew nothing. I see many PS parents post here in the private school forum praising their schools and trashing private, but I have never until today ventured on to the public school forum of this blog. From what I read on there today, I am convinced that private is the best way to go at least until 8th grade. I am still not sure if private highschool is worth it so will continue researching and asking parents with older kids. My kids are in 3rd and 1st grade.

Out of curiosity and in light of the latest tuition hike (our school was hit with 4.5%), I have started to quietly look into public schools in our neighborhood in VA. My husband grew up around here, but I did not so I do not know much about the public schools in this area other than what he tells me, which is that they are all terrible and that this is a non-negotiable no discussion issue for him and he will send kids to private no matter what the cost. I went to private where I grew up so when the kids came along, I didn't know any better so I just went along with him, and I am ok with continuing with private until 8th grade, but these tuitions scare me to death. Our HHI is $220k, but we live in an inherited home so we have no mortgage. For the moment we are ok, but we are in professions in which we have reached the upper limit of earnings so while we are able to manage at the moment, I am not sure once tuition hits 40k per kid, if that is something we can do and my husband is not even open to discussing this possibility, which is scary for me as I am a total planner and worrier.

OP, I was a private school student who planned to send my kids to private because I thought it automatically head and shoulders better than public. Which it was where I grew up. We send our kids to public in Arlington, which is different than Fairfax obviously but both counties share some of the same issues. I'll address some of your concerns and thoughts:

Overcrowding: Our neighborhood school is known for overcrowding. There are trailers. But my son has never been in a class with more than 22 kids. The number of kids allowed in a class is capped, and my son's classes have never reached that cap. The trailers are nice inside. They are clean, quiet, and peaceful. The bathrooms are much cleaner than the bathrooms in the main building. Given a choice between the main building and the trailers at "our" school I would choose the trailers for my kids.

Quality control: I'm not sure what your specific concerns are here, aside from Spanish. My kids are getting an excellent education. They receive gifted services in the appropriate subjects, and they are generally appropriately challenged. We do get a tutor in writing for our son because it's not his strong suit and he benefits from one-on-one interaction there. Between the school instruction and tutor we are very pleased with his writing skills. Spanish is offered for each grade level at his school, but it is not a graded subject. It is a twice a week class, the object of which is to give the students familiarity with the language. It is nothing like an immersion level education, but the kids who receive it are funneled into a higher level class in middle school than those who have received no Spanish instruction. There are Spanish immersion schools in our county for those who choose to go that route.

I'm not trying to dissuade you from private, just want to let you know that there are lots of people in the area who choose public even though they could afford private, but obviously not all schools are the same. Our income is about 4x yours, and we would choose private in a heartbeat if we thought that our kids would do better in a private school than our assigned public schools.

Anonymous wrote:OP you are thinking about this the wrong way. It's not about public vs. private - it's about your specific public vs. your specific privates. There are some very low-performing private schools and some very high-performing publics. It's not black or white.

If you want to really investigate all your options go tour your public school while the kids are in there. Observe the classes, check out the schedule. Talk to other parents. Talk to the PTA. Then, if that school isn't acceptable, think about moving. That's what a lot of public school parents do- move to the area for the public school they like.

That said, if the money isn't a hardship and you are happy where you are, stay and enjoy.

Also, there's a great thread from a few days ago that asks parents who went to private school themselves and who send their kids to public why they chose to do so. I found it very interesting.

Thank you. That is a great way of looking at it and I will request a tour. As my concern is about highschool mainly, who do I contact to arrange a tour? The principal's office at the public school?

Here's that thread.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/531323.page

OP you are thinking about this the wrong way. It's not about public vs. private - it's about your specific public vs. your specific privates. There are some very low-performing private schools and some very high-performing publics. It's not black or white.

If you want to really investigate all your options go tour your public school while the kids are in there. Observe the classes, check out the schedule. Talk to other parents. Talk to the PTA. Then, if that school isn't acceptable, think about moving. That's what a lot of public school parents do- move to the area for the public school they like.

That said, if the money isn't a hardship and you are happy where you are, stay and enjoy.

Also, there's a great thread from a few days ago that asks parents who went to private school themselves and who send their kids to public why they chose to do so. I found it very interesting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I'm the person who wrote about my child being in Spanish for four years and still not knowing much Spanish. I have a child in public and a child in private, so I straddle both forums. In our case, one of our children needed the smaller class size, but our other child is absolutely thriving in public school.

While I don't think my child in public school is learning much in the Spanish class, he loves it and loves the teacher, so I don't feel the need to complain to the County. I guess I'm saying that I don't think that private is the end-all, be-all for every child and I know a number of families that have children in both public and private.

Honestly, the thread about the daughter who wants to return to public and the Queen Bee Mom who posted turned my stomach (though I realize the same types of people exist in publics, especially in our area).

Thank you for sharing. If you don't mind, can you also comment on the dynamics between the siblings with one being in private and the other in public? I am always curious with families that have one in each, do they ever make comments like why can't I got to that school to or how come my school doesn't have that? I personally would be so torn if I could only afford private for one and not the other.

I'm not that PP, but I also have one in private and one in public. Every once in a while I worry if it will lead to years of therapy for either kid, but I really think it's the best decision for each kid and they're both really happy where they are. I have asked the one in public if he wanted to go back to his private school where his sister currently attends. He is adamant that he doesn't want to - he's happy and thriving in public. His sister is happy and thriving in private. my philosophy all along is that I'm not making a "public v private" decision, but rather trying to find the best school for my individual kids.
And if you are seriously considering public schools, I urge you to actually tour and talk to the people at *your* public school. That's the only one that matters. And a lot of what's posted on the MD school forums here have no resemblance at all to our experience at public school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I disagree. What I see in the public school forums is roughly 4-in-5 posts are people complaining about their own kids' schools. In the private school forum, when someone is posting about her own school, 4-in-5 posts are positive. Most negative posts about private schools come from people bashing someone else's school.

Well, yes, if you're paying $40,000 a year to send your child to a school, of course you're going to post positive things.

Nonetheless, it would be a mistake to conclude that 4 out of 5 parents hate their kids' public schools.

I have one in public high school and one in private middle school and have found that parents whitewash their child's school no matter what they've chosen. Everyone wants to believe (and endeavors to project to others) that they've made the best possible decision for their children. The differences we've found are enormous and greatly favor the private school. It might not be $40,000 better for every family, but it's better in every way I can think of: curriculum, student behavior, skills development (critical thinking, writing, reading, research), foreign language, sciences, humanities, literature, general administration, teacher quality, homework (there's LOTS more of it in private school but it's also much more interesting and more useful). We've found them to be roughly equal in math education and in the extent and variety of preteen and teen social issues.

FWIW, we've found argumentative and/or snobby parents in both schools, and I don't think they affect my children's education so don't pay much attention. I also check both the DCPS and private school boards and find the parents equally catty, but about different things.

Just adding that this is reflective of my family's experience with what's generally considered an excellent private school and a very good public school. I'm sure there are many who have had different experiences.