Anonymous wrote:You want to maintain this relationship with your sister but you're overwhelmed (understandably) with your own family issues. It's easy to forget that your sister is a single mother of a toddler and is probably also overwhelmed with her own home life. Maybe she doesn't have all of the stressors that you do but it doesn't mean that she has it easy. When we come under so much stress I think that we instinctively blank out the empathy we have for others around us just so we can cope. She can't deal with your issues because she has her own. You can't deal with her issues because you have your own. I'm not sure what her problem with your husband is but it might be along the same lines that she just can't be around him because she can't muster the strength to be understanding about his problems.

I think it's okay if you and your sister emotionally pull apart for a little while. Just for a few months or even a year while your youngest kids mature a little bit and your other issues smooth over some more. Outings like the lecture are the perfect get-together for you two. Don't try to force a deep emotional relationship. It's there, it just needs a little break. Don't flip out because she doesn't know where to meet for coffee. That's something that can be decided on the spot and an immediate answer isn't necessary.