Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We bought a serious fixer, small, with two shared walls, in the middle of DC. And now, 9 years later, it's our love for our neighbors and the community that keep us here. Digging out after the blizzard was like a neighborhood party, almost. And everyone went sledding on the same few hills. Kids played outside even after dark, climbing these crazy mounds of snow. We walked to our local restaurant and sat with a bunch of people we know from the neighborhood.

I do think, though, that this level of community stems partly from the crazy proximity with our neighbors. We all know what's going on with each other; weare so densely packed. I love it but I totally get why people want, say, 1.5 acres and a beautiful yard. But I think there is a bit of an either/or thing. It's hard to form tight friendships with your neighbors when you never see them.

We have a similar experience in our upper NW SFH with a smallish lot. Great sense of community. Sledding down neighborhood hills, neighbors helping each other out during the blizzard, kids playing together outside during the summer. Yes, we have an older home, but this is one of the trade offs we're more than happy to make to be close to work and live in the community that we do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This blizzard and how unhelpful/disinterested our neighbors have been throughout the blizzard has gotten me thinking about how much I dislike our neighborhood/neighbors and how I would love to move (but still stay in NoVA).

We bought our SFH in Herndon 8 years ago pre-kids. We were DINKS, this was our first home purchase, and it took us a year to find this house. It's a beautiful house, in a beautiful neighborhood, in a convenient location. We have 1.5 acres, and a gorgeous yard. We have put over $100,000 in renovations and upgrades into the house after we bought it. My husband also dislikes the neighborhood/neighbors but says we have spent too much money on renovations/have over-improved for the neighborhood and if we sold we would sell at a huge loss. I understand this, but also feel that you can't put a price on neighborliness and sense of community, and I am also very unhappy here.

The problem is that our neighborhood is mostly empty nesters and retirees, there are practically no kids (kids are mainly high school kids), and this is one of the most antisocial, apathetic neighborhoods I've ever heard of. We don't know our neighbors at all, and they are disinterested and rude, the kind who go back into the house if they see you outside, they gossip about us to other neighbors, and in general took a disliking to us the minute we moved in (because we are not in the demographic of the neighborhood).

We didn't really think about the importance of a sense of community/friendly/social neighborhood when we bought the house. Our neighborhood has no social events during the year, no parties, no listserv/Facebook page, and no sense of community spirit whatsoever. People here value their huge yards and keeping to themselves. This wasn't something that bothered me at first, but now that we have kids and I'm a SAHM, I would love to be in a neighborhood with a more family friendly atmosphere. Also, we are on the HOA board, but that has not facilitated meeting other neighbors or improving the unfriendliness situation at all.

We now have a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old, and I'm a SAHM. I feel like we have no sense of community here. The yards are large and people keep to themselves. There is no street life, no kids outside playing, very few people walking, etc. because it's mostly empty nesters. We have no friends at all in this neighborhood and I doubt we ever will. I have introduced myself to a few moms I have met while out walking who have young kids, and they seemed completely disinterested in getting to know me/having playdates. Pretty much they're all full-time working moms who have nannies/au pairs.

Anyhow, just wondering what you would do if you also lived in such an awful neighborhood with awful neighbors. I don't feel happy in this neighborhood anymore, even though I really like our house and the location. I don't feel like it feels like home, or that we have put down any roots here, despite having lived here for 8 years now. I know that we can find community elsewhere other than neighborhood, but that really hasn't happened yet either, not at my toddler's preschool, or in moms groups I have joined, etc.

Dislike. Apathetic, antisocial, disinterested, rude, awful people. Your disdain for your neighbors is evident in your description of them, but you provide no actual examples of having bad neighbors. Loud parties? Not taking care of their property? Being the lawn length police and reporting you to the HOA? Shoveling their snow so it blocks your drive? DCUM has several posts a day from people dealing with neighbors who are jerks. You use really negative language, but your neighbors don't seem like jerks.

In fact, they see m a lot like me--busy people in a different stage of life than you. Introverts, who want to unwind at home, and not have to be "on the go" and entertaining while relaxing at home. I'm a WOHM of older school aged kids. They're busy so I'm busy. I'd be glad to chat with you at the mailbox for a couple minutes, have one of my kids get your mail while you are on vacation & keep an eye on your house, watch your kids in a genuine emergency, etc but I don't have time for, or want, to form a book club or have a play date with our kids (if they are friends, your kids can just come over)

Your neighbors don't like you, because you dislike them. Also, as PPs point out, no friends in neighborhood, no connections at pre-school, no buddies from mom's group. This seems a lot like the problem lies with you. Moving won't fix this.

Anonymous wrote:As someone who moved from a neighborhood like yours to a very social, friendly neighborhood I will say it was 100% worth it. We also lost money in the end, but it was totally worth it.

Anonymous wrote:This blizzard and how unhelpful/disinterested our neighbors have been throughout the blizzard has gotten me thinking about how much I dislike our neighborhood/neighbors and how I would love to move (but still stay in NoVA).

We bought our SFH in Herndon 8 years ago pre-kids. We were DINKS, this was our first home purchase, and it took us a year to find this house. It's a beautiful house, in a beautiful neighborhood, in a convenient location. We have 1.5 acres, and a gorgeous yard. We have put over $100,000 in renovations and upgrades into the house after we bought it. My husband also dislikes the neighborhood/neighbors but says we have spent too much money on renovations/have over-improved for the neighborhood and if we sold we would sell at a huge loss. I understand this, but also feel that you can't put a price on neighborliness and sense of community, and I am also very unhappy here.

The problem is that our neighborhood is mostly empty nesters and retirees, there are practically no kids (kids are mainly high school kids), and this is one of the most antisocial, apathetic neighborhoods I've ever heard of. We don't know our neighbors at all, and they are disinterested and rude, the kind who go back into the house if they see you outside, they gossip about us to other neighbors, and in general took a disliking to us the minute we moved in (because we are not in the demographic of the neighborhood).

We didn't really think about the importance of a sense of community/friendly/social neighborhood when we bought the house. Our neighborhood has no social events during the year, no parties, no listserv/Facebook page, and no sense of community spirit whatsoever. People here value their huge yards and keeping to themselves. This wasn't something that bothered me at first, but now that we have kids and I'm a SAHM, I would love to be in a neighborhood with a more family friendly atmosphere. Also, we are on the HOA board, but that has not facilitated meeting other neighbors or improving the unfriendliness situation at all.

We now have a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old, and I'm a SAHM. I feel like we have no sense of community here. The yards are large and people keep to themselves. There is no street life, no kids outside playing, very few people walking, etc. because it's mostly empty nesters. We have no friends at all in this neighborhood and I doubt we ever will. I have introduced myself to a few moms I have met while out walking who have young kids, and they seemed completely disinterested in getting to know me/having playdates. Pretty much they're all full-time working moms who have nannies/au pairs.

Anyhow, just wondering what you would do if you also lived in such an awful neighborhood with awful neighbors. I don't feel happy in this neighborhood anymore, even though I really like our house and the location. I don't feel like it feels like home, or that we have put down any roots here, despite having lived here for 8 years now. I know that we can find community elsewhere other than neighborhood, but that really hasn't happened yet either, not at my toddler's preschool, or in moms groups I have joined, etc.

Anonymous wrote:As someone who moved from a neighborhood like yours to a very social, friendly neighborhood I will say it was 100% worth it. We also lost money in the end, but it was totally worth it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would move for a friendlier neighborhood. We love our neighborhood and know tons of people, and that all happened because of a central park/playground in the 'hood. So I would recommend, if you do move, buying in an area that has a walkable playground/park.

OP here. I wish we had something like that. I guess because of the large yards and the fact that most people have pools, that there is no community/neighborhood pool, park, or playground. Nothing at all within walking distance.