I bet this guy doesn't like to do any emotional labor and doesn't appreciate said labor from OP. I think he doesn't want to be on the hook for sticking around and helping OP pick up the emotional fallout from her dad's death. He just doesn't feel that obligation.

Sorry, OP. In the end you might be happier. Your husband does sort of sound like a jerk, at least pretty tone deaf emotionally.

Anonymous wrote:Why, pp?

Most men aren't in a rush to divorce unless they are sleeping with someone else and want to move on (or at least remove the barrier to their action).

You don't initiate a divorce when your spouse's parent dies unless there's a big reason and a need to hurry up the process. If he had been silently miserable for years, he would have waited another few months...if for no other reason than to save face and not look like an ass. He's in a hurry...why? Maybe he got another woman pregnant and he's anxious to commit?

RE: the gay thing - look at the famous men who came out with no regard to the impact on their wife and family...they were in a rush to live their true lives publicly. It's possible.

This is my thought.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. I'm going to take my daughter for a fun afternoon on this day off and not worry about it right now. I know I will be better off, but as PP said now I have two major issues to deal with, as I'm also involved in my dad's will as co-executor with my brother. Husband actually doesn't really matter at all right now.

Oh my god. Was he waiting for your dads death because of an inheritance? Document all of this. The timing is appalling.

That might be the case - inheritances are not marital property though so at least there is that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Come on people, we don't know how she treated her husband.

Of course I'm not perfect but tried very hard, moved all over the country with him for his job and was always supportive. But even still, as PP said, maybe not three days when my dad's not even buried yet? He's a non-issue to me now, though, for sure.

His name isn't Newt Gingrich is it? Oh wait, that was breaking up with his wife while she was in the hospital getting cancer treatment, different guy.

My friends husband left after her mother died and her brother had just died. She thought that they were working on the marriage so she was shocked but apparently
he thought that she would get an inheritance and would be fine without his support so off he went.
He did, I think, at least wait for the burial. Your guy is some kind of awful and I'm so sorry about that. At least you have clarity that this is the right thing for you
because this is not a good man at all. Please try, somehow, to forget him. No bitterness - he is just worth forgetting entirely.

So sorry about your dad.

Anonymous wrote:There isn't a time frame to request a divorce. I think it would be worse to make you feel great and happy and then ask for one

I think anyone with a functioning brain and normal emotional makeup would disagree with you. Can't imagine anyone believing it's appropriate to ask for a divorce 3 days after a spouse loses a parent.

Tell him to go jump through the court's hoops to get it all started. You're too busy with other things.

Why, pp?

Most men aren't in a rush to divorce unless they are sleeping with someone else and want to move on (or at least remove the barrier to their action).

You don't initiate a divorce when your spouse's parent dies unless there's a big reason and a need to hurry up the process. If he had been silently miserable for years, he would have waited another few months...if for no other reason than to save face and not look like an ass. He's in a hurry...why? Maybe he got another woman pregnant and he's anxious to commit?

RE: the gay thing - look at the famous men who came out with no regard to the impact on their wife and family...they were in a rush to live their true lives publicly. It's possible.

Anonymous wrote:So is he gay or just cheating with another woman?

Play nice to his face, but lawyer up and go for the jugular.

This is a truly idiotic statement.

So is he gay or just cheating with another woman?

Play nice to his face, but lawyer up and go for the jugular.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your father and how your husband has treated you. What a jerk!

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone post the original thread where Op talks about her husband not being supportive while dad was in the ICU? Thanks.

You could have done a search, it was on page 3: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/525686.page#8164999

Can anyone post the original thread where Op talks about her husband not being supportive while dad was in the ICU? Thanks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. I'm going to take my daughter for a fun afternoon on this day off and not worry about it right now. I know I will be better off, but as PP said now I have two major issues to deal with, as I'm also involved in my dad's will as co-executor with my brother. Husband actually doesn't really matter at all right now.

Oh my god. Was he waiting for your dads death because of an inheritance? Document all of this. The timing is appalling.

FWIW, I don't think inheritance is consideredarital property and thus not subject to division unless it has become so comingled with marital property that it can no longer be clearly sectioned out. But, obvs, pls consult your divorce attorney on this.

He's probably been wanting to ask for a long time but held off while your dad was sick. The timing sucks.

I'm so sorry, OP.
The only bright thing is you will soon be rid of this ass.