Anonymous wrote:

RopeNhealer wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractive and fit DW. I have expressed nicely and angrily my frustration. Changes? None. I get rebuffed daily.

My new years resolution is to move on emotionally and physically.

In the meantime I'm taking action to up my outward appearance -just for me. If something good or physical happens as a result-bonus.

If another M finds me appealing and something happens, it won't be because I didn't communicate, beg, plead, yell about my dismay in my marriage to my partner.

I am in a similar situation. Very frustrating. Have you considered looking for an AP?

I have considered. Not sure where to begin. I go to the whole foods in Fairfax and look around. Many nice looking older guys.I've met done guys married and divorced and dongle at holiday parties. All know I'm married, some know DH,others don't know him at all. I am hesitant to use the internet sites. I just want to bump into someone on metro, Starbucks or Whole Foods and just connect.

Anonymous wrote:Well, flip side here. DW and in a gradual sexless marriage. Largely my fault, I lost my attraction to DH. I don't know where to find it. I try to rally and take one for the team, that worked for a while but now I feel as if I am being raped when we do it. Just zero desire for him.

He hasn't changed, no weight gain, no crazy behavior. I think the cause may be because it was never burning hot to begin with and time has just grinded it to zero. I feel badly and offered him an open marriage. I hope he will take me up on it seriously because no one deserves to live like that.

We can't afford to split, we need a joint income to maintain a comfortable household for our kids. We are barely getting by as it is.

Anonymous wrote:

RopeNhealer wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractive and fit DW. I have expressed nicely and angrily my frustration. Changes? None. I get rebuffed daily.

My new years resolution is to move on emotionally and physically.

In the meantime I'm taking action to up my outward appearance -just for me. If something good or physical happens as a result-bonus.

If another M finds me appealing and something happens, it won't be because I didn't communicate, beg, plead, yell about my dismay in my marriage to my partner.

I am in a similar situation. Very frustrating. Have you considered looking for an AP?

I have considered. Not sure where to begin. I go to the whole foods in Fairfax and look around. Many nice looking older guys.I've met done guys married and divorced and dongle at holiday parties. All know I'm married, some know DH,others don't know him at all. I am hesitant to use the internet sites. I just want to bump into someone on metro, Starbucks or Whole Foods and just connect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is just sad! Anybody living in a sexless marriage has only him/herself to blame. I could NOT live in my sexless marriage. Guess what I did? I manned-the-F up and told her we better "fix" this immediately otherwise she must choose between me remaining married or monogamous. Guess what SHE did? Suddenly "found" her lost libido, and we've stayed married with a normal sex life ever since.

Moral to this story: do NOT just wait for something to change. YOU must act, and you must be willing to risk the marriage to actually save it.

+1

Not communicating is just foolish!

Some of us have done that. Maybe it's not that simple of an answer for people experiencing this. Glad that worked for you.

If you really have already done this, then congratulations on returning from a forced celibate life.
So this sex you're now having: is it with your spouse? Or did it become an open marriage?
If you answered NO to both questions, then you didn't actually follow my approach.

I've done it and we are still not having sex. It's a process. Don't be so narrow minded in your understand of people their history and environments that shape who they are.

RopeNhealer wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractive and fit DW. I have expressed nicely and angrily my frustration. Changes? None. I get rebuffed daily.

My new years resolution is to move on emotionally and physically.

In the meantime I'm taking action to up my outward appearance -just for me. If something good or physical happens as a result-bonus.

If another M finds me appealing and something happens, it won't be because I didn't communicate, beg, plead, yell about my dismay in my marriage to my partner.

I am in a similar situation. Very frustrating. Have you considered looking for an AP?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sexless marriage here. Almost 20 years of marriage. Have had sex once in the last 5 years and that conceived child #2. Sex life was never good. Likely won't ever be. I survive with Work. Children. Lots of daydreaming. Sexual prime has peaked. Sad in a major way but I feel like it's too late now to start over or fix it.

Is this a WOHM issue? I am seeing a trend on DCUM today.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is just sad! Anybody living in a sexless marriage has only him/herself to blame. I could NOT live in my sexless marriage. Guess what I did? I manned-the-F up and told her we better "fix" this immediately otherwise she must choose between me remaining married or monogamous. Guess what SHE did? Suddenly "found" her lost libido, and we've stayed married with a normal sex life ever since.

Moral to this story: do NOT just wait for something to change. YOU must act, and you must be willing to risk the marriage to actually save it.

+1

Not communicating is just foolish!

Some of us have done that. Maybe it's not that simple of an answer for people experiencing this. Glad that worked for you.

If you really have already done this, then congratulations on returning from a forced celibate life.
So this sex you're now having: is it with your spouse? Or did it become an open marriage?
If you answered NO to both questions, then you didn't actually follow my approach.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is just sad! Anybody living in a sexless marriage has only him/herself to blame. I could NOT live in my sexless marriage. Guess what I did? I manned-the-F up and told her we better "fix" this immediately otherwise she must choose between me remaining married or monogamous. Guess what SHE did? Suddenly "found" her lost libido, and we've stayed married with a normal sex life ever since.

Moral to this story: do NOT just wait for something to change. YOU must act, and you must be willing to risk the marriage to actually save it.

+1

Not communicating is just foolish!

Some of us have done that. Maybe it's not that simple of an answer for people experiencing this. Glad that worked for you.

RopeNhealer wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractive and fit DW. I have expressed nicely and angrily my frustration. Changes? None. I get rebuffed daily.

My new years resolution is to move on emotionally and physically.

In the meantime I'm taking action to up my outward appearance -just for me. If something good or physical happens as a result-bonus.

If another M finds me appealing and something happens, it won't be because I didn't communicate, beg, plead, yell about my dismay in my marriage to my partner.

I am in a similar situation. Very frustrating. Have you considered looking for an AP?

Anonymous wrote:I eat well, burrow myself in work, workout, and porn.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wow... this is really depressing to read.
Im obviously in a similar situation. Been living with a GF for about 2 years, it was great at the beginning but sex life has somehow faded, my sex drive is still high could do it every night, she can go without it for a week or 2. We do it roghly 2x a week because I want it and have to initiate almost every time. Once a year sounds like the worst nightmare

Tried to talk but she gets really defensive and upset if I bring up me being sexually lonely... I hate to admit it but I cheated to get some elsewhere. I feel bad about it but since talking didnt help I just did it.

Almost every day I think about just breaking this off

You do need to break it off. Do it soon. There are high drive women, and you need one.

Thanks, I just find it hard.. she is so great otherwise and when we actually do it its amazing and I do feel wanted then, I just need it much more ... I think Im attractive enough, work out, every single previous girl wanted me every night and I end up in this..

+1

Listen, I am married with kids and really committed, but it is hard and I am on my own sexually. You do know what you need to do. This is a priority you need to honor for yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is just sad! Anybody living in a sexless marriage has only him/herself to blame. I could NOT live in my sexless marriage. Guess what I did? I manned-the-F up and told her we better "fix" this immediately otherwise she must choose between me remaining married or monogamous. Guess what SHE did? Suddenly "found" her lost libido, and we've stayed married with a normal sex life ever since.

Moral to this story: do NOT just wait for something to change. YOU must act, and you must be willing to risk the marriage to actually save it.

+1

Not communicating is just foolish!

Anonymous wrote:Attractive and fit DW. I have expressed nicely and angrily my frustration. Changes? None. I get rebuffed daily.

My new years resolution is to move on emotionally and physically.

In the meantime I'm taking action to up my outward appearance -just for me. If something good or physical happens as a result-bonus.

If another M finds me appealing and something happens, it won't be because I didn't communicate, beg, plead, yell about my dismay in my marriage to my partner.