Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 19:05     Subject: DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:American women are sold the idea that small equipment never matters and bad lovers can be easily trained to compensate with oral, fingering, toys, etc.

This is not universally true. Some men have no sense of timing/rhythm. If he took the 8 weeks of dance classes with you and still flubbed the box step at your wedding, you know what I mean. If he can't recall basic stuff he does every single day, he probably won't remember that last time you like to be touched Way A rather than Way B.


It's a lot easier to have good sex than it is to dance a contrived wedding dance. Most guys find formal dancing to be akin to torture.


The box step is a contrived wedding dance?
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 19:00     Subject: Re:DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
Anonymous wrote:I married a man who was freaking amazing in bed. Also, he was the best kisser you could possibly imagine. And hot. I'm not kidding, he was a dream.
Then, after we got married he gained 20 lbs and started "seducing" me by saying "wanna sexy around?" and pulls my clothes off before trying to immediately insert with little to no kissing or foreplay.

The sex itself is still pretty good (he is not selfish in bed thank god), but if I could go back in time I'd marry for money instead.


You and 99 percent of American women.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 18:59     Subject: DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
Anonymous wrote:American women are sold the idea that small equipment never matters and bad lovers can be easily trained to compensate with oral, fingering, toys, etc.

This is not universally true. Some men have no sense of timing/rhythm. If he took the 8 weeks of dance classes with you and still flubbed the box step at your wedding, you know what I mean. If he can't recall basic stuff he does every single day, he probably won't remember that last time you like to be touched Way A rather than Way B.


It's a lot easier to have good sex than it is to dance a contrived wedding dance. Most guys find formal dancing to be akin to torture.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 18:51     Subject: DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
Anonymous wrote:American women are sold the idea that small equipment never matters and bad lovers can be easily trained to compensate with oral, fingering, toys, etc.

This is not universally true. Some men have no sense of timing/rhythm. If he took the 8 weeks of dance classes with you and still flubbed the box step at your wedding, you know what I mean. If he can't recall basic stuff he does every single day, he probably won't remember that last time you like to be touched Way A rather than Way B.

+1 this is my DH. I'd rather married someone with a small penis.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 18:16     Subject: DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am afraid I did... Not completely ready to give up, I am still hoping that the lack of desire is linked to the fact that we have 2 kids under 3, but if I am honest even before the kids it wasn't great: not passionate enough and not enough in command for my taste (I like rough sex, dirty talk, I like to give BJ, would like to try anal etc.. He likes vanilla sex)

His go to move was (and still is) morning sex+basic spoon position, which I enjoy, but now I realize how lazy it is. Basically using his morning wood as a crutch and not a lot of efforts .

This is one of my resolution of 2016, seriously address the elephant in the room. Add therapy if needed. I don't want to be in a boring sexless marriage at 35... Or I will ask for a hall pass damn it


And I will add, to fully respond to the question: I used to be more tolerant given that I don't have the highest sex drive in the world either (twice a week would probably be my ideal), but now I am frustrated, I actually masturbate almost every day when he is in the shower and I find absolutely ridiculous that a youngish couple has reached that stage ... (And FWIW we are both in ok shape, not overweight, taking care of ourselves etc, he says he is attracted to me but just exhausted)


Were you intimate before marriage? If so, what did you think would change afterwards? Or, was the clock ticking and you said fuck it?


We were intimate of course but we didn't live 5 years together either : 2 years dating apart when you see each other only in perfect conditions (week ends, holidays at the beach etc..), then 2 years living together when the sex was fine but not awesome because too vanilla. I knew from the start I didn't marry the perfect lay but he had other qualities so I said fuck it. And I thought the more comfortable we would be together the more we would try things. Fastforward 2 kids and tons of work and now it is way worse . But you are right, I could have seen it coming, I didn't want to admit it was going to be a potential issue
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 17:33     Subject: Re:DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would never marry or even date a man that is not sexually compatible with me. I fuck before marriage and before the bf/gf title. Sex is too important to me.


How much do you charge an hour?


go away
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 17:14     Subject: Re:DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
He's not great, but he's a kind person in general, he looks good, he really makes me feel attractive and wanted, and we have regular sex. Totally worth it. I'm sure I'm not perfect, either.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 17:12     Subject: DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
Low T is made up for to an extent my high HHI.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 17:12     Subject: DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
17:10, I hope you cleared up his misapprehension that his approach was a turn on?
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 17:11     Subject: Re:DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
Anonymous wrote:I would never marry or even date a man that is not sexually compatible with me. I fuck before marriage and before the bf/gf title. Sex is too important to me.


How much do you charge an hour?
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 17:10     Subject: Re:DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
I married a man who was freaking amazing in bed. Also, he was the best kisser you could possibly imagine. And hot. I'm not kidding, he was a dream.
Then, after we got married he gained 20 lbs and started "seducing" me by saying "wanna sexy around?" and pulls my clothes off before trying to immediately insert with little to no kissing or foreplay.

The sex itself is still pretty good (he is not selfish in bed thank god), but if I could go back in time I'd marry for money instead.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 17:06     Subject: DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
American women are sold the idea that small equipment never matters and bad lovers can be easily trained to compensate with oral, fingering, toys, etc.

This is not universally true. Some men have no sense of timing/rhythm. If he took the 8 weeks of dance classes with you and still flubbed the box step at your wedding, you know what I mean. If he can't recall basic stuff he does every single day, he probably won't remember that last time you like to be touched Way A rather than Way B.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 17:03     Subject: Re:DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
Nope. I enjoy sex way too much and would not have married someone without strong sexual chemistry.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 17:01     Subject: DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
My x wasn't. Small penis, no technique, no lasting power. Initially, he got an A for effort. By the time we were actually engaged, I got used to needing a toy to finish. After we we'd, he abandoned all effort and I needed a toy throughout. Eventually, I got so disgusted with him that even a Hitachi didn't distract me. I used to jill off 15 min after he fell asleep.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2016 16:58     Subject: DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes. Low T/ Lil' D.


Sorry but this made me LOL.


Go ahead and laugh at our problems.


Kinda brought it on yourself. I would've never married a little dick guy.


Good for you. There's someone for everyone, I suppose. Even someone as unpleasant as you.


It's true. Kind of unfair to list it as a negative when you married him knowing about his dick size.