Same as previous posters - he is terrible in bed and I haven't had an orgasm (with him) in at least 20 years.

I have never orgasmed with him.

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Anonymous wrote:I have lied about my number of sexual partners for almost 20 years. Told the lie once and never found a way to tell the truth. And he is totally one that will be hurt by the dishonesty even 20 years later. Wish that I was mature enough to go with the "none of your business" line at the time.

I am convinced that when I am old and forgetful that I will let it slip.

What did you tell him vs. the true number?

Told him 2, real number is 7.

Um, you're wasting a whole lot of angst over 5 partners?

Goes to honesty. My DW told me two then a few years later let slip that there was a third. Why would she have lied about him to begin with? I have to assume that there were more than that.

Correct answer. It's not the number, it's the dishonesty surrounding the number. Why lie unless there was a reason? What else has she felt a reason to lie about?

Why lie? Maybe her husband was some ridiculous prude who would feel like she was a slut or he was less of a man based on her number. The argument could be made that in that case she shouldn't have married him, but there is an answer to the question why lie.

Well, yeah. But the point remains that the issue is not that she had 5 more partners, it's that she specifically lied about it. If I'm her DH I'm left wondering what else she lied about.

Number poster here. Yes, to it being about honesty and yes to having a reason (or so I thought to lie). I started having sex WAY too young (13), and had 4 partners in a year before I wised up and decided that I wasn't ready. Then I changed my life and started hanging out with a different crowd. Then I waited 4 years to have sex again and started the lie about being a virgin. Guys respect refraining from sex much easier from a virgin. The next time I had sex i declared this new event as "losing my virginity" while in a 4 year relationship. When that ended I had a random hookup (also embarrassing so I omitted that one) and the lie continues. My now DH was the third (or 7th) guy. Who is going to believe that I didn't have sex for 4 years....especially now after the multiple decades long lie? Not to mention what the dishonesty says about my character.

Oh boy...well, despite the fact that she nags me about teeth brushing, that her breath - despite the quick and lame job she does - is like death many nights. Yes, the extra 20-30lbs are a turn off and I am just not attracted anymore.

That I wish he would ski straight into a tree. But some things are better left unsaid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lied about my number of sexual partners for almost 20 years. Told the lie once and never found a way to tell the truth. And he is totally one that will be hurt by the dishonesty even 20 years later. Wish that I was mature enough to go with the "none of your business" line at the time.

I am convinced that when I am old and forgetful that I will let it slip.

What did you tell him vs. the true number?

Told him 2, real number is 7.

Um, you're wasting a whole lot of angst over 5 partners?

Goes to honesty. My DW told me two then a few years later let slip that there was a third. Why would she have lied about him to begin with? I have to assume that there were more than that.

Correct answer. It's not the number, it's the dishonesty surrounding the number. Why lie unless there was a reason? What else has she felt a reason to lie about?

Why lie? Maybe her husband was some ridiculous prude who would feel like she was a slut or he was less of a man based on her number. The argument could be made that in that case she shouldn't have married him, but there is an answer to the question why lie.

Well, yeah. But the point remains that the issue is not that she had 5 more partners, it's that she specifically lied about it. If I'm her DH I'm left wondering what else she lied about.

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Anonymous wrote:That I have given up nagging him about brushing his teeth, but it doesn't mean his breath has improved. It just means I can't stand talking about it anymore. Sigh. Why can't a grown man brush his teeth?

UGH. There are two men like this? My husband is the same. Unbelievably disgusting and annoying.

Did you know this about them before you married?

PP here, it wasn't a problem before we married. I guess he was trying to impress me with basic hygiene, and now no longer feels the need.

I'd say that I'm tired and need help. That I'm not as strong and capable as he thinks I am. I want him to hold me and let me cry, and him not think I'm being weak. Then I want him to make love to me like he used to, like he really desires me.

Anonymous wrote:That I fantasize about giving a previous lover head almost every single day.

Do you just like doing it or is it the guy?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lied about my number of sexual partners for almost 20 years. Told the lie once and never found a way to tell the truth. And he is totally one that will be hurt by the dishonesty even 20 years later. Wish that I was mature enough to go with the "none of your business" line at the time.

I am convinced that when I am old and forgetful that I will let it slip.

What did you tell him vs. the true number?

Told him 2, real number is 7.

Um, you're wasting a whole lot of angst over 5 partners?

Goes to honesty. My DW told me two then a few years later let slip that there was a third. Why would she have lied about him to begin with? I have to assume that there were more than that.

Correct answer. It's not the number, it's the dishonesty surrounding the number. Why lie unless there was a reason? What else has she felt a reason to lie about?

Why lie? Maybe her husband was some ridiculous prude who would feel like she was a slut or he was less of a man based on her number. The argument could be made that in that case she shouldn't have married him, but there is an answer to the question why lie.

Anonymous wrote:That I fantasize about giving a previous lover head almost every single day.

Hot

Wow, this thread is elucidating. I wish I could tell DH that I'd like a bit less vanilla sex, but I am 90% sure he wouldn't be into it and then he would feel guilty he wasn't satisfying me. I'd rather leave it, and he's so uncomfortable talking about sex to begin with.

Sigh. He's so great in virtually every other way.

That I fantasize about giving a previous lover head almost every single day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lied about my number of sexual partners for almost 20 years. Told the lie once and never found a way to tell the truth. And he is totally one that will be hurt by the dishonesty even 20 years later. Wish that I was mature enough to go with the "none of your business" line at the time.

I am convinced that when I am old and forgetful that I will let it slip.

What did you tell him vs. the true number?

Told him 2, real number is 7.

Um, you're wasting a whole lot of angst over 5 partners?

Goes to honesty. My DW told me two then a few years later let slip that there was a third. Why would she have lied about him to begin with? I have to assume that there were more than that.

Correct answer. It's not the number, it's the dishonesty surrounding the number. Why lie unless there was a reason? What else has she felt a reason to lie about?

I wish she could see how mean she is to me and our son sometimes. Her personality is just like her mom's who she deeply resented for the exact same type of meaness. Even worse is that she can't see that she's building up the same type of resentment in our son that she had for her mom.