Anonymous wrote:Jesus freak here.

... I have a wonderful husband who would not be wonderful if it weren't for our faith. He is faithful because he fears the Lord and loves me as the Lord has commanded....

O/T comment here.

I'm glad you have what you perceive to be a great marriage but this is really disturbing to me. From what you said, it sounds like your husband is only acting the way he does because he fears punishment by someone he thinks is bigger and badder. Does that really sound like love to you? Or something bordering on abuse and manipulation?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Interesting replies.

First of all, I am very glad she chose Jesus over meth, slutty behavior, etc. Phew!

As I said, we are Christian but don't wear it as a badge, and are not "obvious" with only reading the Bible, listening to Christian music, etc.

DD and I have a terrific relationship and would not call her out on all this. She is an adult and I do trust her ability to make her own choices. She confides in me, we talk daily, and she is a really remarkable young woman. This overly religious behavior is what it is. I was just wondering what others have seen in young people that go this route.

Interesting, because you seem to really want her to change.

OP here. Interesting replies.

First of all, I am very glad she chose Jesus over meth, slutty behavior, etc. Phew!

As I said, we are Christian but don't wear it as a badge, and are not "obvious" with only reading the Bible, listening to Christian music, etc.

DD and I have a terrific relationship and would not call her out on all this. She is an adult and I do trust her ability to make her own choices. She confides in me, we talk daily, and she is a really remarkable young woman. This overly religious behavior is what it is. I was just wondering what others have seen in young people that go this route.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My young adult DD is basically a Jesus freak, reads the bible multiple times a day, almost exclusively listens to praise music, keeps a journal of her prayers, and is just super obvious in her religious leanings. We are a Christian family, but are not regular church goers, and keep our beliefs fairly personal. I know plenty of other Christians that are devout, but it's not obvious. Anyway, its getting a bit weird. Is this a phase some people go through and get over? I want to say something, but she's easily offended. I just worry its going to limit her socially and eventually career-wise, and even spouse-wise!

The term "Jesus freak" is a microaggression. Don't use it.

Micro? Hardly.

OP is having trouble distinguishing between cult membership and being a devout practitioner of your faith. There are actually websites for concerned parents to use that provide checklists.

I do, but I grew up in a pretty intense Christian cult. Many of the members were reformed 60s/70s drug addicts. Most of the second generation left the group, so it has sort of fizzled out.

I had a friend who said he was a reformed "JF". He said that he remembers feeling so smug about it. He just had this sense that he was superior to everyone else and they didn't know what they were missing or didn't "get it". I thought it was so interesting that he could look back and remember those feelings and have perspective about it. I don't think he feels foolish or regretful but perhaps set right and humbled. We had a great talk about that. But I don't know if this is the case with your daughter.

Anonymous wrote:My young adult DD is basically a Jesus freak, reads the bible multiple times a day, almost exclusively listens to praise music, keeps a journal of her prayers, and is just super obvious in her religious leanings. We are a Christian family, but are not regular church goers, and keep our beliefs fairly personal. I know plenty of other Christians that are devout, but it's not obvious. Anyway, its getting a bit weird. Is this a phase some people go through and get over? I want to say something, but she's easily offended. I just worry its going to limit her socially and eventually career-wise, and even spouse-wise!

The term "Jesus freak" is a microaggression. Don't use it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow! I really can't believe you called you daughter a Jesus freak. I don't blame her for looking elsewhere for love and acceptance.

Maybe you need counseling lady. Your daughter is just fine, she just has an asshole mom to deal with.

+1

+2

Anonymous wrote:My young adult DD is basically a Jesus freak, reads the bible multiple times a day, almost exclusively listens to praise music, keeps a journal of her prayers, and is just super obvious in her religious leanings. We are a Christian family, but are not regular church goers, and keep our beliefs fairly personal. I know plenty of other Christians that are devout, but it's not obvious. Anyway, its getting a bit weird. Is this a phase some people go through and get over? I want to say something, but she's easily offended. I just worry its going to limit her socially and eventually career-wise, and even spouse-wise!

This doesn't sound like a "Jesus freak" to me, just a devout Christian.

When I think of a "Jesus freak", I think of people in cults, standing on street corners calling out Scripture at strangers, and seeing signs of the Second coming in everything.

You need to modulate your emotional response if you want to keep a happy relationship with your daughter.

Is she going to school? Working? Does she have healthy friendships? A healthy romantic relationship? Is her diet proscribed by a religious leader? Can she seek medical care if she desires?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow! I really can't believe you called you daughter a Jesus freak. I don't blame her for looking elsewhere for love and acceptance.

Maybe you need counseling lady. Your daughter is just fine, she just has an asshole mom to deal with.

Mom lacks faith and doesn't see the beauty in her daughter's faith. You should be grateful lady.

that her child is obsessing over a storybook figure?

That her daughter has faith and is living her life in a positive way. So many teens, young adults and even older adults struggle with self-destructive behaviors. Yes, her social life might be limited but perhaps in a good way. Why be judgy and insulting? That is a poor reflection on you, not on the OP's DD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow! I really can't believe you called you daughter a Jesus freak. I don't blame her for looking elsewhere for love and acceptance.

Maybe you need counseling lady. Your daughter is just fine, she just has an asshole mom to deal with.

Mom lacks faith and doesn't see the beauty in her daughter's faith. You should be grateful lady.

that her child is obsessing over a storybook figure?

Anonymous wrote:Wow! I really can't believe you called you daughter a Jesus freak. I don't blame her for looking elsewhere for love and acceptance.

Maybe you need counseling lady. Your daughter is just fine, she just has an asshole mom to deal with.

Mom lacks faith and doesn't see the beauty in her daughter's faith. You should be grateful lady.

I've known a couple of people like this. One I met in college, and he was sort of a sheltered, just-fell-off-the-turnip-truck type when he arrived freshman year. Nice, smart, funny kid. Saw him a couple of years later and he had become this urbane hipster type...possibly also had come out by then. I think in his case, he was just raised by a very religious family in a very small town, and kind of came into his own when he got out into the world.

The other person I knew like this just seems to have deeply held, intense feelings about things, and religion used to be one of those things. Very curious, intelligent person...I would call her a deep thinker. I think after she had some bad things happen in her life, and the response from her friends/congregation was, I don't know...not very Christian? The bloom was off the rose and she fell away from the church after that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has brought out some really interesting perspectives. I'm soon to be an ordained pastor. When I was a young adult I read the bible, memorized verses, prayed and didn't fit in with most of my peers. I was always sensitive and spiritual--an old soul type who saw and sought greater meaning in life than I saw most of my friends doing. My parents made fun of me and it made me feel even more isolated. Your child is religious; her faith is important to her. Some people are born this way. If she wants counseling by all means help her, but also encourage her to talk to faith leaders so that she can explore her spirituality with people who understand her. I'd love to know your daughter and I expect a priest or pastor could be a great mentor to her, in whatever her life choices are.

I wrote this post and want to add--I have very meaningful relationships with my friends, a happy marriage with my husband and two children. I don't have loads of Instagram followers and I'm not partying every weekend but I am extremely fulfilled. If you're worried about her relationships it's not a concern unless she's involved in some type of cult. People of faith make friends and find spouses.

Agree with this. As with any other relationship and group, the question to ask is whether she feels pressured to do anything she isn't comfortable with and whether the organization as a whole seems legit, with good role models in leadership roles.