Anonymous wrote:If you are a normal looking person who doesn't have any fat pockets to speak of, put thin. If you go to the gym twice a week or do some other type of workout in addition to being thin, put fit.

Agree that men are just trying to filter fatties. If you are fat but put down fit, you will be wasting your time once they see you in person.

In other words a naturally completely flat chested woman with implants since all of us who have breast feed know that the boob has nice soft pockets of fat along with dense breast tissue. Lose those fat pockets and you have less fullness in the boob.

If you are a normal looking person who doesn't have any fat pockets to speak of, put thin. If you go to the gym twice a week or do some other type of workout in addition to being thin, put fit.

Agree that men are just trying to filter fatties. If you are fat but put down fit, you will be wasting your time once they see you in person.

OP, what comes to your mind when a man is described as "fit"? To me, when I hear a woman described as fit, I generally think that means I can tell she works out by her appearance, which is different from just being thin. Rather I think of toned arms, shoulders, butt, legs and abs as well as a generally athletic posture.

Anonymous wrote:Another online dating vent, I suppose. Every guy 45-55 says he is looking for someone fit. They all seem to run or bike or hike or all three.

I consider myself thin-ish. I would like to lose about 8 lbs. If I do, this would put me on the very low end of normal weight for my height. I am a solidly normal weight for my height now.

Do I run triathilons? No. Would anyone in any way shape or form call me fat? No. Will my poor c-section cut abs and mild diastasis recti ever look like a supermodel's abs? No. Do I spend hours in the gym every day? No. Because working.

So do I say I am of "average" build and skip the guys seeking someone fit? Or not?

OP, someone who does triathlons devotes a significant amount of time and resources to that activity. It's not a priority for you to go to the gym. There's nothing wrong with that, but it could cause a lot of tension later. But then again lots of things cause tension, so it's just a possible challenge to compatibility.

I work FT and have two small children and am really into weightlifting. It works because DH is supportive and would never resent the time I spend at the gym. If DH didn't think it was important, we'd have a problem.

Anonymous wrote:Fit and thin are two different things.

Are you active otherwise / despite your weight?

Fit it me is not necessarily thin, it's an athletic build. Neither thin nor "thick", also alludes to a lifestyle.

+1. I am overweight but pretty fit and it's important from a lifestyle perspective. I wouldn't like to be with someone who didn't like to do active things, or complained when I went to the gym.

I think some men use fit as a polite way of saying skinny/thin, but for others it's likely the lifestyle factor

Anonymous wrote:Another online dating vent, I suppose. Every guy 45-55 says he is looking for someone fit. They all seem to run or bike or hike or all three.

I consider myself thin-ish. I would like to lose about 8 lbs. If I do, this would put me on the very low end of normal weight for my height. I am a solidly normal weight for my height now.

Do I run triathilons? No. Would anyone in any way shape or form call me fat? No. Will my poor c-section cut abs and mild diastasis recti ever look like a supermodel's abs? No. Do I spend hours in the gym every day? No. Because working.

So do I say I am of "average" build and skip the guys seeking someone fit? Or not?

Send .me a pic and I'll let you know where you stand

I would only date fit men. I too work FT, but find a way to exercise an hour a day. Thr things I like doing are physical. I like to hike (real hiking, not a walk in the woods), I've done a few century rides, and the best vacation I took was a climb to the top of Mt Kilamanjaro. I'm not compatible with someone who can't keep up (and there are more men who can't than can).

My now DH is in the very fit category and what we do in our spare time requires that.

I'm not sure if these men are just shallow and looking for a woman with an ideal body or if they are active themselves. However, I've seen a lot of fat ass men with moobs looking for a fit woman and I find them grotesque.

Interesting because someone could be fit and still overweight.

the term "fit" is shorthand for physically fit.
to me, this means several things:
a) your body composition is lean (ie, not alot of fat, more muscle)
b) you exercise on a regular basis. doesn't need to be running marathons, but enough activity to break a sweat (so walking on a treadmill while watching Opra doesn't count)
c) you are somewhat committed to this as a lifestyle, not just dropping 20 pounds to re-enter the dating pool

OP, select fit.

As you can see, people's answers vary. However, I've online dated frequently, and I'm fairly certain that guys who select fit are trying to filter out fat women. It's that simple. Do not limit your choices by selecting average!

OP you know the answer already. You're not fit, but there's no reason to pretend otherwise. It's more than ok. Find the guy who is interested in what you are for real.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt these guys online care about a woman who is truly fit or athletic. They just don't want someone to be fat or on their way there. All that talk about triathlons and what not is designed to scare off fat women while simultaneously making him look good and interesting.

+1. I have one friend who is skinny and naturally petite and fine boned and rarely works out and is often sick. Another is average size and works out but is naturally larger boned. They both do online dating and the skinny unfit one has tons more luck even with guys claiming to be looking for fit ladies

This is because they're not looking for "fit" in the health sense of the word, they're looking for fit in the looks sense ie thin, slim, not fat or approaching it, etc. it's just code.

Anonymous wrote:I doubt these guys online care about a woman who is truly fit or athletic. They just don't want someone to be fat or on their way there. All that talk about triathlons and what not is designed to scare off fat women while simultaneously making him look good and interesting.

+1. I have one friend who is skinny and naturally petite and fine boned and rarely works out and is often sick. Another is average size and works out but is naturally larger boned. They both do online dating and the skinny unfit one has tons more luck even with guys claiming to be looking for fit ladies

Anonymous wrote:I doubt these guys online care about a woman who is truly fit or athletic. They just don't want someone to be fat or on their way there. All that talk about triathlons and what not is designed to scare off fat women while simultaneously making him look good and interesting.

Yup. Average is good.