Not a wealthy SAHM here, I wish! But I had to move for dh's career and had to give up a long term employer with lots of leave and flexibility and a great boss. Dh is not able to take off work unless I am really, really sick, and then he can only be home working from home in the afternoon. We have a hard time getting to take a vacation because dh can't take time off.

Aftercare does have camps on breaks but the quality is not consistent.

I would like to go back to work but I think I would have to get a nanny or au pair. I am working on it... I sure miss my old job. And not having any family around sucks. I can fly my mother out to help me but I can't do that for every single break.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see people on DCUM rag on SAHMs that don't go back to work once their youngest starts school, but honestly OP, your question is exactly why I continue to stay at home.

Some of the PPs who have spread sheets and have to "cobble together" care for their children from multiple sources--it sounds so stressful.

Unless I really LOVED my career, or having me go back to work literally meant the difference between paying the mortgage vs. living on the street--it's just not worth it for my family.

I love it when wealthy women pop in to remind us all how good they have it. It really rounds out the discussion.

NP here, but most of the SAHMs I know are not at all wealthy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see people on DCUM rag on SAHMs that don't go back to work once their youngest starts school, but honestly OP, your question is exactly why I continue to stay at home.

Some of the PPs who have spread sheets and have to "cobble together" care for their children from multiple sources--it sounds so stressful.

Unless I really LOVED my career, or having me go back to work literally meant the difference between paying the mortgage vs. living on the street--it's just not worth it for my family.

I disagree. I don't think it's that hard for everyone. My child's aftercare program is open during snow days, breaks and professional days. Camps run til mid August, then we take a week vacation and the last week is covered by a childcare center that my youngest attends full time. I also have telework flexibility. I've worked hard to get to this point in my career and the flexibility has helped once kids came along.

I'd say it is mildly stressful until my spreadsheet (I do it in excel) suddenly clarifies, and I can see how the year will work. After that, it is fine (except for snow days. I really hate snowdays)

BTW-- you don't need a spreadsheet (no snark intended, but for the OP who thinks it's necessary). I just put all the dates into my calendar when the school calendars come out. I'm also fortunate that I have a lot of vacation time (my job is more about needing to be available even if there's a snow day and not about not having the leave to take off).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see people on DCUM rag on SAHMs that don't go back to work once their youngest starts school, but honestly OP, your question is exactly why I continue to stay at home.

Some of the PPs who have spread sheets and have to "cobble together" care for their children from multiple sources--it sounds so stressful.

Unless I really LOVED my career, or having me go back to work literally meant the difference between paying the mortgage vs. living on the street--it's just not worth it for my family.

I disagree. I don't think it's that hard for everyone. My child's aftercare program is open during snow days, breaks and professional days. Camps run til mid August, then we take a week vacation and the last week is covered by a childcare center that my youngest attends full time. I also have telework flexibility. I've worked hard to get to this point in my career and the flexibility has helped once kids came along.

I'd say it is mildly stressful until my spreadsheet (I do it in excel) suddenly clarifies, and I can see how the year will work. After that, it is fine (except for snow days. I really hate snowdays)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see people on DCUM rag on SAHMs that don't go back to work once their youngest starts school, but honestly OP, your question is exactly why I continue to stay at home.

Some of the PPs who have spread sheets and have to "cobble together" care for their children from multiple sources--it sounds so stressful.

Unless I really LOVED my career, or having me go back to work literally meant the difference between paying the mortgage vs. living on the street--it's just not worth it for my family.

I disagree. I don't think it's that hard for everyone. My child's aftercare program is open during snow days, breaks and professional days. Camps run til mid August, then we take a week vacation and the last week is covered by a childcare center that my youngest attends full time. I also have telework flexibility. I've worked hard to get to this point in my career and the flexibility has helped once kids came along.

Same here. My child's ES's aftercare is open on all professional days, half days, etc. Youngest is in full-time day care. After 5 years of day care, my oldest has a tough immunity system and doesn't get sick very often. My job is also flexible and I can bring my oldest to the office if needed. Camp covers all weeks in the summer. Take one week of vacation in August when youngest's day care is closed.

Anonymous wrote:I see people on DCUM rag on SAHMs that don't go back to work once their youngest starts school, but honestly OP, your question is exactly why I continue to stay at home.

Some of the PPs who have spread sheets and have to "cobble together" care for their children from multiple sources--it sounds so stressful.

Unless I really LOVED my career, or having me go back to work literally meant the difference between paying the mortgage vs. living on the street--it's just not worth it for my family.

I love it when wealthy women pop in to remind us all how good they have it. It really rounds out the discussion.

Anonymous wrote:
I disagree. I don't think it's that hard for everyone. My child's aftercare program is open during snow days, breaks and professional days.

Yes. If your child has a good aftercare program, and if it is open during snow days, breaks, and professional days... that pretty much handles the problem completely!

Imagine if your child's aftercare program didn't do that though - and many don't. Then you will see why it is hard for some people.

We have a nanny- she works full time. Sometimes she is home doing laundry while the kids are in school but this week, for example, she is driving my kids to see friends and watching them build legos. It's expensive but completely worth it. My kids have consistency and it's easy. She's been with us for 8 years and she covers all the sick, no school days, so we can use our vacations for vacations.

Anonymous wrote:I see people on DCUM rag on SAHMs that don't go back to work once their youngest starts school, but honestly OP, your question is exactly why I continue to stay at home.

Some of the PPs who have spread sheets and have to "cobble together" care for their children from multiple sources--it sounds so stressful.

Unless I really LOVED my career, or having me go back to work literally meant the difference between paying the mortgage vs. living on the street--it's just not worth it for my family.

I disagree. I don't think it's that hard for everyone. My child's aftercare program is open during snow days, breaks and professional days. Camps run til mid August, then we take a week vacation and the last week is covered by a childcare center that my youngest attends full time. I also have telework flexibility. I've worked hard to get to this point in my career and the flexibility has helped once kids came along.

One more idea for those cobbling it together: my teenage niece is likely coming in for a 3-4 week "nanny" stint with us. I will take them to the zoo and turn them loose as I sit outside on my laptop. Or go into the office and leave them at home. In return she'll have a few days to herself to play tourist, I'll take her out for a girls night etc.

I did this last year with my best friend's teenage daughter and she had a great time. I paid her a decent amount of money, my kids had fun bonding, she got to see DC and I got some work done. Not ideal but ok.

I frankly don't mind this sort of set up because my kids need a bit of a break. Having some non-camp days to wear PJs all day and watch TV are fine with me in the summer.

Also, thanks to some of you for the "day camp" options at tae kwon do and gyms and stuff. I've been looking for a way to try some new stuff for them and that might be just the thing.

Anonymous wrote:I see people on DCUM rag on SAHMs that don't go back to work once their youngest starts school, but honestly OP, your question is exactly why I continue to stay at home.

Some of the PPs who have spread sheets and have to "cobble together" care for their children from multiple sources--it sounds so stressful.

Unless I really LOVED my career, or having me go back to work literally meant the difference between paying the mortgage vs. living on the street--it's just not worth it for my family.

It doesn't mean the difference between paying the mortgage and the street, but it does mean the difference between funding retirement and a bit of college vs not.

I actually teach at my kids school. It made a huge difference in handling the elementary days.

I see people on DCUM rag on SAHMs that don't go back to work once their youngest starts school, but honestly OP, your question is exactly why I continue to stay at home.

Some of the PPs who have spread sheets and have to "cobble together" care for their children from multiple sources--it sounds so stressful.

Unless I really LOVED my career, or having me go back to work literally meant the difference between paying the mortgage vs. living on the street--it's just not worth it for my family.

I have a work from home option. I use it judiciously, and make sure I produce -- and that people see that I produce -- so they are fine with me working from home.

We do not have family in town so we have an au pair. I don't think we could do it otherwise. There are so many days that school is closed or the kids are sick that I would be a nutcase if I had to try to find coverage for all of that.