Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of man pushes to have a baby shower?

A cheap one. We had a male co-worker beg for a baby shower at our job for his second child because he is cheap and wanted as much free stuff as he could get. No one in the office likes him so it was real awkward for all of us.

I hope everyone wished him good luck in giving birth.

What happened with your friend circle?

I didn't have a wedding shower because I didn't have any friends where I lived at the time. Now, 15 years later in a new place, I have a ton of friends who would come if I were to have one. It's not a forever condition, so don't worry about it too much.

Anonymous wrote:Just have a luncheon or brunch with your family members and have that be your shower. No need to do a big thing and invite people you aren't close with.

But they want others to buy them baby stuff!

Anonymous wrote:What kind of man pushes to have a baby shower?

A cheap one. We had a male co-worker beg for a baby shower at our job for his second child because he is cheap and wanted as much free stuff as he could get. No one in the office likes him so it was real awkward for all of us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First off it isn't proper to have family members throw showers.

Just accept the fact you don't have friends to invite and focus on what you have going on in your life. Count your blessings. Don't make someone throw you a party and invite people you aren't close with. That's lame and you'll feel awkward. You'll live without a baby shower.

Incorrect this is old school. OP my family is throwing me a coed shower. Really looking forward to it since I had been dreading an all girls shower when I don't have many close girlfriends to invite.

No, nope, that is still correct. You're just not following the rules, which is fine, but it doesn't mean the rules have changed.

This is so silly. When we had our first baby we got all sorts of presents from our neighbors and family. My office threw me a shower.

This idea that only longtime, personal/family *friends* care about you is not my experience.

Just have a luncheon or brunch with your family members and have that be your shower. No need to do a big thing and invite people you aren't close with.

No friends = no shower. Just make a wish list online and send it to any family members who ask.

What kind of man pushes to have a baby shower?

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you should focus on making some friends.

This

OP, I have a 2 year old, but I had no friends to invite to a baby shower either. And no one offered to host a shower for me. So I just didn't have one. It bothered me a lot at the time, as a first time mom. So we just ended up buying everything ourselves, as we didn't really receive any baby gifts either.

I decided to create a whole new social circle and make a lot of friends as a SAHM. I joined a few moms groups, playgroups, and made it a goal to make new friends and build a community. I definitely have way more friends now as a SAHM than I ever did before (at least since college). Now we're in the midst of infertility as we try for baby #2, but if I ever do get pregnant, I do plan to have a baby shower since I never had one the first time around. I'm going to host it myself, and I'm going to specify no gifts, because it's not the gifts that's important, it's feeling supported and loved (which I definitely didn't feel the first time around).

As other PPs have pointed out, if you don't have friends to invite to a baby shower, you don't have a baby shower. This is a pretty simple concept, that, while disappointing, your DH should be able to understand. I wouldn't throw one and invite co-workers and neighbors -- won't they wonder why you have no friends there? The whole thing just sounds awkward. I would skip the baby shower. I had a very small shower with just six couples and it was nice, but definitely not a boondoggle in terms of gifts. We have to buy our own baby gear, but since it's our baby and our responsibility, I'm 100% ok with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First off it isn't proper to have family members throw showers.

Just accept the fact you don't have friends to invite and focus on what you have going on in your life. Count your blessings. Don't make someone throw you a party and invite people you aren't close with. That's lame and you'll feel awkward. You'll live without a baby shower.

Why? I've never heard that before.

The reason is that having your family members throw you a shower is essentially asking for gifts for your family. A shower is supposed to be thrown by a friend. Not your sister or your mom.

Eh, I wouldn't worry about this too much. A friend threw me a small local shower that was all friends, but my mom and sisters threw one back in my hometown that was primarily family and family friends. I really am only still close with one friend from high school, and she has a newborn so there was no way she could have hosted. This arrangement is very common in my extended family, and I don't think anyone has ever turned up their nose and not attended because of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you should focus on making some friends.

We have tried....I hear it gets easier w kids. Play dates and groups and such. But we haven't had any luck.

I don't think it gets easier, but there are some exceptions. Where are you located?

It only gets easier if you are a SAHP. Otherwise it's very tough to connect with people through your kids because your interaction with the parents is very limited. And kids don't really start to play together until they are 2-3'ish.

Op, have a wonderful small shower with your family.

Congratulations on your baby.

But being a SAHP can be very isolating unless you're good at taking initiative and getting involved. For me, who was always social and had a large friend circle, the first two yours of motherhood/being a SAHM were very lonely.

There were certainly things I could have done to improve the situation, but I didn't know or have the right perspective at the time.

Have a small shower. Do it at a restaurant or something.