Anonymous wrote:OP here. Glad to see that it's not just us!

And I realize that the way we handle this particular chore may be a quirk of our relationship. We don't have 'officially' assigned chores. If we did, and my chore was laundry, then of course it would make sense to complete the whole job.

The thing that got me was the utter disbelief that I didn't put my husband's clothes away, and thus the underlying assumption that this is a 'woman's job.' Really happy that this is not the norm.

No, I don't use my genitals to fold the laundry, and neither does my husband. We both use our hands, of which we both have two.

Nope. He does all the laundry: washing, folding and putting away.

We split the chores. I do all the laundry, fix stuff around the house, cook, do the yardwork, do most of the childcare during the night.

DH does the dishes, cleans the house, takes out the trash, pays the bills, and handles most of the childcare on the weekends.

We both WOH and we've been married for 14 years, so it's a pretty goo setup for us.

We both fold each other's. I will sometimes put his away bra cause I want to get it off the bed. He doesn't put mine away because he doesn't want to learn my drawer system and doesn't want to get it wrong.

I do it all, rarely he does.

Whoever is folding laundry folds for both. We never put each other's laundry away,

Don't people who are sharing a household typically do things for each other? Not to mention *married* people raising children together.

Anonymous wrote:DH occasionally does a load, but laundry is much more me because I'm better at it, don't mind doing it, and WFH.

But we each put our own clothes away. I wouldn't even know where to begin with putting his away - he's created his own system for where stuff goes and I can't imagine trying to learn it. I'm also working on getting my kids to put there own clothes away.

But this does make me curious - in homes where you put your spouses clothes away, do you pack for them too? I pack for my kids (hopefully they'll grow into that chore...) but not for my husband.

I do put his clothes away (and he puts away my clothes), but I don't think we'd ever pack for each other unless it was a true "emergency," like he suddenly needed to go see an ill family member solo and needed help getting out the door, or I went into labor without a bag packed. We'd help each other out in this regard if we had to, but I don't think either of us would WANT the other to do this for us.

Usually, I do pack for my DD as well as myself, but I can see that changing now that #2 is going to be here soon. We may end up each packing for a kid or something.

Anonymous wrote:I fold and wash his laundry because I would never let him do mine. He washes everything together, like towels in with clothing. I am picky about sorting and have many hand wash only clothing.

^^^ he does do other household chores like cook and dishes.

I fold and wash his laundry because I would never let him do mine. He washes everything together, like towels in with clothing. I am picky about sorting and have many hand wash only clothing.

DH occasionally does a load, but laundry is much more me because I'm better at it, don't mind doing it, and WFH.

But we each put our own clothes away. I wouldn't even know where to begin with putting his away - he's created his own system for where stuff goes and I can't imagine trying to learn it. I'm also working on getting my kids to put there own clothes away.

But this does make me curious - in homes where you put your spouses clothes away, do you pack for them too? I pack for my kids (hopefully they'll grow into that chore...) but not for my husband.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, enough with those of you saying "he's a grown man" and "I'm not his mommy." Yeah. We get it. But here's what--he's not my daddy, and I'm fully capable, but I NEVER mow the lawn or take the trash and recycling bins down to the curb. So just because I do the majority of the laundry and some other "indoor" tasks doesn't mean that we don't operate as equals.

Strange. Do you just not want to do those chores?

I do trash and recycling as much as DH because I'm a grown woman.

How is this "strange?" How am I not a "grown woman?" We each do 50% of the house work, but we don't do 50% of each chore. What about that is not grown-up? What about htat don't you get? It's like co-workers. My colleagues and I work toward the same goals, and some of our duties overlap, but we don't all do the same things all teh time.

We both do laundry, both fold, both put away. It's not a chore that's divided in our home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, enough with those of you saying "he's a grown man" and "I'm not his mommy." Yeah. We get it. But here's what--he's not my daddy, and I'm fully capable, but I NEVER mow the lawn or take the trash and recycling bins down to the curb. So just because I do the majority of the laundry and some other "indoor" tasks doesn't mean that we don't operate as equals.

Strange. Do you just not want to do those chores?

I do trash and recycling as much as DH because I'm a grown woman.

Not PP, but we also have a similar division even though we're otherwise not a very traditional couple. You could say that they're genedered roles, but I care more about how much total work we're each putting in, rather than each of us interchangeably being able - and willing - to do each other's tasks. Some amount of specialization makes sense in a marriage - as long as my contributions aren't discounted because it's "women's work," then why avoid an otherwise enjoyable task?

I'm very particular about how my laundry is to be done, and DH is just a throw-it-all-in type without even looking at what he's doing. He's ruined plenty of his clothes that way, but - that's how he wants to do it.

So, with our two different styles, we just each take care of our own laundry. We both do kitchen towels, bath towels, and sheets for the family.