Living a long plane ride away from my family has allowed me to keep on good terms with my parents and siblings. However, I am not close to my nephews and have missed many family get togethers. However, I would have been sucked into their dysfunctional relationships and my DH would have probably told off my BIL and sister several times because of their selfishness. Now we just see everyone for a week and stay in a hotel. It is pleasant and drama-free for the most part and that's the way I like it.

When we lived near family I had to suffer through hour long lunches or two hour outings. Now I need to host them for multiple nights or sleep in their dirty house, where they act like they don't want us there but get mad if we don't visit or choose to stay elsewhere.

Smaller doses more often was better than longer visits.

I echo those who agree it can be easier to be closer to them, assuming there aren't insane boundary issues. I am okay dealing with my dad for about two hours every four to six weeks. I can also easily control things that make the visit easier--time of day, for instance. In the evening he's a drinker, so I visit in the mornings. Or he works out everyday at the same time so I can come in the middle of the work out and that shaves like 40min off seeing him but I still get credit for the visit. When I lived in LA, I would come home and manage this for four days straight, or more. Awful. Put a huge strain on us. I used to have anxiety nightmares about my visits and I haven't had one since moving back to the east coast.

Anonymous wrote:We moved away from my family for my dh's job. I regret it. My grandmother died and we were not there for her. It makes me very sad. Spending one week a year with your family is not the same as seeing them on a regular basis. I would go back and time and change this if I could.

I can't say that I regret moving away from our old area. I think we made a good change at a good time for a lot of reasons. I do miss being close enough to pop in to see our relatives though. The long distance driving is a killer. Plane tickets are expensive. There is just no easy way to get back and forth.

Maybe they'll move to our new area. We'll see.

Anonymous wrote:No. It's easier to live close because you pop by for visits whenever you need to. If you move far away you wind up doing week long visits - them to see you, you to see them - 2/3/4 times a year. Add in BOTH sides of your family and that's a lot of weeks!

This