Anonymous wrote:So they didn't serve cake at the big party because they were saving it for the sleep over? That is rude.

That part is very rude, yes. Sounds like they wanted to collect the gifts but that was it.

However, she can decide how many kids she has in her house at any given time. Personally I would have just had the party with the 6 who were sleeping over, but that isn't acceptable either because someone would have been left out of that.

I think they just should have had the party with the sleepover kids. Otherwise--it seems merely like a ploy for more presents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also agree with OP. Completely rude.

This

+1 I've never seen that happen for a kid's party.

Anonymous wrote:We have had larger parties with a later sleepover with a small number. It was just a few years in early sleepover stages (ages 6-8 or so). The numbers were different, and of course we'd never discuss the sleepover portion, nor would we ever hold anything back from invited guests with explanation that it was for the select guests. That's rude.

Plus we'd always invite th neighbor kid to the sleepover. Gotta keep the eyewitness happy.

In all seriousness, the rudeness was in making it abundantly obvious there was an A and B team. Everyone understands one best friend sleeping over.

I think you were still being incredibly rude not to pick a different night for a small sleepover. What is wrong with people these days.

Op, it's really rude & mean spirited.

Awful- save the sleepover for another night!

Anonymous wrote:I've never heard of this. How rude!!

So to clarify, the non-sleepover kids just showed up for what? Snacks and their gift donation? Then they got the bum rush? Unreal. Never heard of it.

Anonymous wrote:Their house, their party, their rules.

Move on with your life.

When your friends invite you over for drinks and hors d'oeuvres, then send you home before serving dinner to the "in" list, get back to us!

Anonymous wrote:That's really, really poor form. We used to have bday parties where the boys cleared out, but all the girls spent the night, but to have a subset invited to stay and to openly discuss it is not good manners at all.

The messaging is atrocious -- you're good enough to bring me a present, but only the A list gets to stick around for opening. Nobody should ever know they're on the B list. If they do, it's been handled poorly. Good for you, OP, for having good sense!

+1

Anonymous wrote:Because it IS okay. My kids have birthday parties with 20+ kids in attendance, and then have their closest few friends sleep over. I do warn the sleepover kids not to talk about it at the party.

Of course, kids never talk about it...

Anonymous wrote:...because they are idiots and pretty classless. Let it go.

Incredibly unkind. I can't believe "adults" are actually defending this behavior.

So, slightly off topic, but years ago DH and I went to the wedding of goods friends. Female half of the couple was from another country, and the wedding was held there. The ceremony was followed by a really, really long cocktail hour(s). In chatting with other guests from the country, we discovered that it is normal to have "A" and "B" list guests, and that the "B" list guests only get invited to the ceremony and cocktails, not the actual reception. Which is why the cocktails last as long as they do. This is known to the "B" list guests, and they're fine with it. Because they're adults.

I can't imagine doing this overtly with kids. Having a couple of best friends stay over, after everyone has had pizza and cake, is one thing. But having a small cadre of kids stay, and making clear that certain parts of the party are only available to those that have been invited to stay? That's something else, and really out there on the clueless meter.

We have had larger parties with a later sleepover with a small number. It was just a few years in early sleepover stages (ages 6-8 or so). The numbers were different, and of course we'd never discuss the sleepover portion, nor would we ever hold anything back from invited guests with explanation that it was for the select guests. That's rude.

Plus we'd always invite th neighbor kid to the sleepover. Gotta keep the eyewitness happy.

In all seriousness, the rudeness was in making it abundantly obvious there was an A and B team. Everyone understands one best friend sleeping over.

Also, typical contemporary USA. "I'm going to do what I want, and everyone can just get over it!!"

Some people were not raised with manners. The purpose of manners is to put others at ease.

No class.