Two teacher household. We make less than $180k combined for sure! Late August to mid June, we're both on our home computers for a couple hours minimum each night (or 4-6 am in my case) grading, planning, writing special ed reports, etc. It sucks, esp. when you have small children but be grateful at least for the good compensation your DH is receiving.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, so many responses. OP here. Fwiw, his in office hours are 7am (leaves at 6:40) and leaved office at 6:15- 6:45. It's not permanent and yes we like the money but it's hard on him aND me. But I do try to not let on as much that it's hard on me with its already being hard on him!

It means though that when I am working 40-45 hours a week that I'm also.doing most of the stuff at home too since I am home around in those extra hours in am aND pm.

I'm happy we took this into consideration when buying our house and kept our payments as low as.possible by sinking probably much more into DP than most people think is wise (tying up our money I suppose ) . It at least gives us wiggle room to look for other jobs. If it gets too hard

DH just quit a 210k grinder much like what your DH is experiencing. We vaye life over careers. We had an exit plan for DH. We now only have a 2500/mo mortgage and utilities. I have a nice 40hr a week job.

DH is job searching now and refuses to go more than 7 miles from the house and won't work another grinder. The whole family looooves having him home. Don't let the golden handcuffs rule your life. Minimize, minimize minimize. Your family will be happier, your marriage will be happiest and your health will be better.

It's so funny - on another thread that deteriorated into working v sahm I noted that this is a major issue for the spouse who works because it is hard to spend time with the kids and everyone assured me that their husbands' jobs did not require this. Huh.

Anonymous wrote:That is simply the life of a working man in todays society and economy. In my work group there are people online at all times of the day over the weekends and even on holidays. The management expects it. they track it. They require a certain level of online time. It isn't only private sector but government also. I always surprises me that wives think that husbands can simply change jobs or work groups or limit their work days because their work is "untenable." How would you feel if the husband refused to work as required and then was out of a job. Would you be here upset that your husband lost his job and isn't contributing enough now that he is unemployed?

Yea and our culture is fucked up.

Wow, so many responses. OP here. Fwiw, his in office hours are 7am (leaves at 6:40) and leaved office at 6:15- 6:45. It's not permanent and yes we like the money but it's hard on him aND me. But I do try to not let on as much that it's hard on me with its already being hard on him!

It means though that when I am working 40-45 hours a week that I'm also.doing most of the stuff at home too since I am home around in those extra hours in am aND pm.

I'm happy we took this into consideration when buying our house and kept our payments as low as.possible by sinking probably much more into DP than most people think is wise (tying up our money I suppose ) . It at least gives us wiggle room to look for other jobs. If it gets too hard

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It took me a while of reading this thread to realize that the husband in question seems to be facing typical off-hour requirements that have become standard for a huge number of jobs out there. I'm hoping to clear $60k this year and am taking customer calls most nights.

9-5 is a quaint memory from another era. Like pensions and office parties.

Hats off to those with the skills and/or leverage to escape work responsibilities by dinner time.

It's not magic--just about anyone can do it. Skills or leverage or your own gig + setting expectations up front = 9-5 or better if you are willing to give up some $$$ in exchange.

I probably earn ~60% of market potential, but still make low 6 figures working <30 hrs/week. My freedom (and happiness) not worth being someone's serf.

You make it sound pretty easy - just work <30 hours per week and still make low 6 figures. Like I said, some of us have not figured it out yet.

16:09 here. I don't mean to make it sound easy, but I did intend to be encouraging.

It's not rocket science or some secret formula. There are several tried-and-true paths to reasonably good income with reasonable hours. You will likely need to be full time initially, but if you're smart and valuable, you should be able to make the transition to part-time within 5-7 years.

The following have worked for me or people that I know:

(1) have sought-after skills in a lucrative industry, then trade some of the $$$ for your time. (If your market value is $300k full time, you have a good chance of parlaying that into $160k for 60% time).
(2) sell something expensive with good margins. (Requires relatively few transactions/yr to generate substantial revenue--think things like real estate, high-end antiques/art, diamonds, collector cars, custom boats).
(3) start a low-overhead, high-margin small business. (Low overhead reduces pressure, margins can reduce transaction volume required to reach revenue goal--meaning less work for more money).

To most of the country, any salary above $100k is a lot of money, and would usually only be earned by a highly-skilled professional who works long hours, or someone who own their own businesses (and probably works even longer hours).

The expectation that your spouse will be making that kind of money without putting in some serious OT is unrealistic. Unfortunately, many people in DC have inflated lifestyle expectations are not really compatible with working parents spending lots of time with their kids.

It's also a side-effect of the hollowing-out of the middle class. Either you're making decent money, working long hours, or you are un/under/employed and making barely enough to survive. I think this is particularly bad in DC, and in other major cities. Some of you should reconsider your contempt for the "fly-over states."

It must be hell working long hours, and then coming hope to a spouse that resents your for it.

I do hours of work from home at night and I earn $60K. His deal sounds good to me!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It took me a while of reading this thread to realize that the husband in question seems to be facing typical off-hour requirements that have become standard for a huge number of jobs out there. I'm hoping to clear $60k this year and am taking customer calls most nights.

9-5 is a quaint memory from another era. Like pensions and office parties.

Hats off to those with the skills and/or leverage to escape work responsibilities by dinner time.

It's not magic--just about anyone can do it. Skills or leverage or your own gig + setting expectations up front = 9-5 or better if you are willing to give up some $$$ in exchange.

I probably earn ~60% of market potential, but still make low 6 figures working <30 hrs/week. My freedom (and happiness) not worth being someone's serf.

You make it sound pretty easy - just work <30 hours per week and still make low 6 figures. Like I said, some of us have not figured it out yet.

Anonymous wrote:It took me a while of reading this thread to realize that the husband in question seems to be facing typical off-hour requirements that have become standard for a huge number of jobs out there. I'm hoping to clear $60k this year and am taking customer calls most nights.

9-5 is a quaint memory from another era. Like pensions and office parties.

Hats off to those with the skills and/or leverage to escape work responsibilities by dinner time.

It's not magic--just about anyone can do it. Skills or leverage or your own gig + setting expectations up front = 9-5 or better if you are willing to give up some $$$ in exchange.

I probably earn ~60% of market potential, but still make low 6 figures working <30 hrs/week. My freedom (and happiness) not worth being someone's serf.

Anonymous wrote:My husband is currently on a month long vacation yet his phone and email are non stop vomiting so he is working from home. Since yesterday he has logged 10 working hours. He plans to not count these hours as vacation rather take a Friday or Monday off in the coming months. Imagine 6 months of long weekends.

He makes good money, the work has to be done and he said yesterday he felt bad ignoring me. LOL. I'm not a child. I can amuse myself.

Is it worth it ? Don't know yet but I suspect come March it will be.

That's life. It beats going hungry and homeless.