Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Child has a bad day at the doctor's office? Must be autistic.


And you say OP is making a mountain out of a molehill!

The OP is the one posting in special needs. It looks like she thinks her "anxious" kids are special needs kids and wants the attention that comes from that.

Her kid has a speech delay. Is that not a special enough ne d for you?

Please, her daughter was being 4. Most 4 year olds don't like the Dr. Not everything needs a label, and/or a bunch of drama.

She has other kids. It's pretty clear to most parents when their child is not behaving typically, even if other people don't see it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Child has a bad day at the doctor's office? Must be autistic.


And you say OP is making a mountain out of a molehill!

The OP is the one posting in special needs. It looks like she thinks her "anxious" kids are special needs kids and wants the attention that comes from that.

Her kid has a speech delay. Is that not a special enough ne d for you?

Please, her daughter was being 4. Most 4 year olds don't like the Dr. Not everything needs a label, and/or a bunch of drama.

Goodness, such snark on the SN forum! Not cool.

Your DD sounds very much like my DS. He had a terrible time at annual check ups and it was something that really concerned me (and was a fairly good indicator that he couldn't handle situations where he didn't know what to expect and couldn't choose not to participate.) We had a few peds in the group that we went to during this time. One was a tremendous asshole and would speak disparagingly of my DS right in front of him. (We stopped seeing him.) The best one handled it by teasing him. (Also not cool.) In my experience, most pediatricians are terrible dealing with mental health issues like anxiety. (Even when they have dealt with it as a parent.) So you could switch peds, but it might not help. (And if you have generally liked her with your other kids, you can maybe let this go as her having a bad day - because it happens to the best of us.) I would try everything you can on your end to make the next one better... prep your daughter as best you can, be really clear with the nurse and doc that your daughter is very anxious... etc. For an anxious kid, it's never going to be a great experience.

As far as my DS, I was right that it was an early sign that he had a pretty severe anxiety problem and although he managed it ok in most situations, things eventually fell apart drastically when he got older. I wish the pediatricians had taken my concerns more seriously. They were convinced it was all behavioral. It might have saved us all a lot of grief if we had started interventions much earlier. I'm not saying your daughter has an anxiety disorder, just don't let any doctor poo-poo your concerns and not be helpful. You know your child best. (And avoidant anxiety behaviors can look like ASD in that situation. I find her comment bizarre given your DD's history.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Child has a bad day at the doctor's office? Must be autistic.


And you say OP is making a mountain out of a molehill!

The OP is the one posting in special needs. It looks like she thinks her "anxious" kids are special needs kids and wants the attention that comes from that.

Her kid has a speech delay. Is that not a special enough ne d for you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Child has a bad day at the doctor's office? Must be autistic.


And you say OP is making a mountain out of a molehill!

Have you parented a kid with an ASD? Do you know what it looks like? I doubt it.

OP's kid's behavior is pretty typical for an ASD. She is 4. She could be on the higher end of the spectrum. If she is, DX until age 8 or so is pretty typical. It's pretty typical to diagnose those kids with a speech delay before age 8 and then with an ASD later. It's also pretty typical for a kid with an ASD to be very functional at home and daycare and school when they are in their routine, but be unable to cope with an unfamiliar, possibly scary situation.

OP's kid could just have a bad day, or OP's kid could be showing signs of Asperger's/HFA/ASD. In any event, the kid is 4. OP's pediatrician is 100% right to keep the diagnosis in mind and to continue to keep that open as a possible diagnosis for this kid.

OP's pediatrician is not qualified to diagnose developmental disorders, especially not in thirty seconds during a yearly appointment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of kids tend to be anxious in that setting. I think it's the rare little kid that doesn't get anxious at the pediatrician. Stop blaming OP. She could have role played all day with this child but it seems to me this doctor blew it, big time. The comment about autism speaks volumes.

I don't agree. The child's behavior looked like the behavior of a kid with an ASD, per the OP's description. It's sufficiently like an ASD that I was wondering about whether the kid has an ASD and OP is in denial, until she said that it had been ruled out.

On the other hand, my kid was "ruled out" for Asperger's at age 5 and diagnosed with an ASD at age 8. OP's doctor is 100% right to keep that diagnosis in mind.

Autism is not a "default" diagnosis when a child has trouble speaking. That is pure ignorance. Any pediatrician who peppers a young child with questions at a yearly appointment and then makes wisecracks about autism is on the level of a quack. And I can't imagine how patients who are actually autistic are approached -- with TLC???

Not a default, but always a possibility when a child doesn't speak. It has to be part of the differential. It also has to be an open question until a child is much older than 4. Asperger's is often not diagnosed until age 8, and sometimes as late as 10 or 12. The doctor would be irresponsible if she wasn't still keeping it open as a possibility.

I don't perceive her comment as a wisecrack or an insult. Interesting that you perceive an ASD diagnosis as an insult. Your bigotry is showing.

The doctor's comment was a wisecrack. I don't view comments about autism as wisecracks. See the difference?

Anonymous wrote:Child has a bad day at the doctor's office? Must be autistic.


And you say OP is making a mountain out of a molehill!

The OP is the one posting in special needs. It looks like she thinks her "anxious" kids are special needs kids and wants the attention that comes from that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of kids tend to be anxious in that setting. I think it's the rare little kid that doesn't get anxious at the pediatrician. Stop blaming OP. She could have role played all day with this child but it seems to me this doctor blew it, big time. The comment about autism speaks volumes.

I don't agree. The child's behavior looked like the behavior of a kid with an ASD, per the OP's description. It's sufficiently like an ASD that I was wondering about whether the kid has an ASD and OP is in denial, until she said that it had been ruled out.

On the other hand, my kid was "ruled out" for Asperger's at age 5 and diagnosed with an ASD at age 8. OP's doctor is 100% right to keep that diagnosis in mind.

Autism is not a "default" diagnosis when a child has trouble speaking. That is pure ignorance. Any pediatrician who peppers a young child with questions at a yearly appointment and then makes wisecracks about autism is on the level of a quack. And I can't imagine how patients who are actually autistic are approached -- with TLC???

Not a default, but always a possibility when a child doesn't speak. It has to be part of the differential. It also has to be an open question until a child is much older than 4. Asperger's is often not diagnosed until age 8, and sometimes as late as 10 or 12. The doctor would be irresponsible if she wasn't still keeping it open as a possibility.

I don't perceive her comment as a wisecrack or an insult. Interesting that you perceive an ASD diagnosis as an insult. Your bigotry is showing.

Anonymous wrote:Child has a bad day at the doctor's office? Must be autistic.


And you say OP is making a mountain out of a molehill!

Have you parented a kid with an ASD? Do you know what it looks like? I doubt it.

OP's kid's behavior is pretty typical for an ASD. She is 4. She could be on the higher end of the spectrum. If she is, DX until age 8 or so is pretty typical. It's pretty typical to diagnose those kids with a speech delay before age 8 and then with an ASD later. It's also pretty typical for a kid with an ASD to be very functional at home and daycare and school when they are in their routine, but be unable to cope with an unfamiliar, possibly scary situation.

OP's kid could just have a bad day, or OP's kid could be showing signs of Asperger's/HFA/ASD. In any event, the kid is 4. OP's pediatrician is 100% right to keep the diagnosis in mind and to continue to keep that open as a possible diagnosis for this kid.

Child has a bad day at the doctor's office? Must be autistic.


And you say OP is making a mountain out of a molehill!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of kids tend to be anxious in that setting. I think it's the rare little kid that doesn't get anxious at the pediatrician. Stop blaming OP. She could have role played all day with this child but it seems to me this doctor blew it, big time. The comment about autism speaks volumes.

I don't agree. The child's behavior looked like the behavior of a kid with an ASD, per the OP's description. It's sufficiently like an ASD that I was wondering about whether the kid has an ASD and OP is in denial, until she said that it had been ruled out.

On the other hand, my kid was "ruled out" for Asperger's at age 5 and diagnosed with an ASD at age 8. OP's doctor is 100% right to keep that diagnosis in mind.

Autism is not a "default" diagnosis when a child has trouble speaking. That is pure ignorance. Any pediatrician who peppers a young child with questions at a yearly appointment and then makes wisecracks about autism is on the level of a quack. And I can't imagine how patients who are actually autistic are approached -- with TLC???

Anonymous wrote:A lot of kids tend to be anxious in that setting. I think it's the rare little kid that doesn't get anxious at the pediatrician. Stop blaming OP. She could have role played all day with this child but it seems to me this doctor blew it, big time. The comment about autism speaks volumes.

I don't agree. The child's behavior looked like the behavior of a kid with an ASD, per the OP's description. It's sufficiently like an ASD that I was wondering about whether the kid has an ASD and OP is in denial, until she said that it had been ruled out.

On the other hand, my kid was "ruled out" for Asperger's at age 5 and diagnosed with an ASD at age 8. OP's doctor is 100% right to keep that diagnosis in mind.

A lot of kids tend to be anxious in that setting. I think it's the rare little kid that doesn't get anxious at the pediatrician. Stop blaming OP. She could have role played all day with this child but it seems to me this doctor blew it, big time. The comment about autism speaks volumes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If all 3 kids are "anxious" maybe it's how you tell them stuff.

Agree. OP, I think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I don't think your doctor was trying to be accusatory, just trying to figure out your kid. Be a better advocate for your kid and not so defensive.

+1
Your title indicated this was a "nightmare" and then was followed by a post about a moderately speech delayed child who didn't have a great doctors appointment. You said yourself she didn't want to go in the first place, you had to drag her in, and then she wouldn't follow the doctors instructions.
Nightmare? No. Unpleasant outing with a child.

Anonymous wrote:If all 3 kids are "anxious" maybe it's how you tell them stuff.

Agree. OP, I think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I don't think your doctor was trying to be accusatory, just trying to figure out your kid. Be a better advocate for your kid and not so defensive.