Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well isn't that something

* said in response to my MIL telling us on great detail her 2 mile commute to work, including every stop sign, light, length of the light, area landmarks (spoiler alert: it was the post office) and the 2 places she parked depending on the weather (she does not tolerate leaves falling on her car)

Dammit! Way to ruin Thanksgiving for me.

Tell me more about exactly where she parks. She avoids leaves, but what about excessive sun? Snow?

PP here, it's fascinating isn't it?
So she parks on the street far enough away from the stop sign to avoid getting a ticket, yet not too close to a maple tree if it's still shedding its leaves. If she gets hung up at the light on West and Elm, Susan from accounting parks there (can you believe she got a new Malibu? Her old one was only 3 years old, I bet it's a lease.) Otherwise she parks on the other side of Elm but the building has 3 steps at that entrance and she likes to avoid those (remember when Phyllis broke her ankle going up those steps? She sued but they said her weight was a contributing factor so she didn't get as much as she hoped **note, no one except her knows who Phyllis is). She got a sun shield for her car but heard that thieves target cars with those so she uses it to get more sun on her tomato plants now. Oh and she eats a banana every morning and cuts it into 3 equal pieces, 1 2 3 (demonstrating with her hands like she's conducting an orchestra)
That's about all I can remember from that painful painful conversation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well isn't that something

* said in response to my MIL telling us on great detail her 2 mile commute to work, including every stop sign, light, length of the light, area landmarks (spoiler alert: it was the post office) and the 2 places she parked depending on the weather (she does not tolerate leaves falling on her car)

Dammit! Way to ruin Thanksgiving for me.

Tell me more about exactly where she parks. She avoids leaves, but what about excessive sun? Snow?

Anonymous wrote:Well isn't that something

* said in response to my MIL telling us on great detail her 2 mile commute to work, including every stop sign, light, length of the light, area landmarks (spoiler alert: it was the post office) and the 2 places she parked depending on the weather (she does not tolerate leaves falling on her car)

Dammit! Way to ruin Thanksgiving for me.

Anonymous wrote:In my head, I like to do a voiceover like a British anthropologist.

"The matriarch seems threatened by the behavior of the newest member of the clan. Let's see how this unfolds."

Out loud it is, "That's an idea."

lol

In my head, I like to do a voiceover like a British anthropologist.

"The matriarch seems threatened by the behavior of the newest member of the clan. Let's see how this unfolds."

Out loud it is, "That's an idea."

Well isn't that something

* said in response to my MIL telling us on great detail her 2 mile commute to work, including every stop sign, light, length of the light, area landmarks (spoiler alert: it was the post office) and the 2 places she parked depending on the weather (she does not tolerate leaves falling on her car)

Whisper "oh darn I'm supposed to be in the kitchen helping" with a sad face and walk away (bonus if you walk towards the kitchen but you don't have to)

Anonymous wrote:My go-to is "Well, there you go!" It's enthusiastic and all-purpose.

Used it during a recent visit with my aunt wherein she explained that she doesn't get the flu shot because "I don't believe in germ theory, so I never get sick."
"Well there you go!"

That's amazing!

Just think of classic popular media:

Fascinating (I always though Spock on Star Trek was being sarcastic)

I've never seen/heard anything like it! (a Gilligan's Island character reacting to a bad painting)

Marvelous (Rimmer from Red Dwarf)

Wicked! (Twins from Harry Potter)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone tell me what the transition was like from actually answering questions/responding to comments to just ignoring busybodies and using "neutral phrases" like these? I've been trying to actually communicate for far too long, and I'm ready to try this approach.

Any horror stories, or did it go pretty well? TIA!

They Will. Not. Notice. People who inspire you to use these kinds of phrases really don't want to hear what you have to say anyhow (I'm the monosyllabic grunt PP).

The ones who don't notice are the best. You'll find out quickly which people DO notice and press and press despite your neutral responses. Then you need to remove yourself - oh, the baby needs a diaper change, dog needs to be walked, I think I heard (whoever's not in the room) calling me.

Anonymous wrote:My husband, FIL, BIL and BIL's husband (same sex marriage) do NOT reply to MIL. They all just stare at their phones, play with the kids, pretend they don't hear. It took me almost 20 years to realize that I do NOT have to be the one to fill the silence. So I stopped responding too. I do the same as them. It was hard at first, because she will pose a rude question and gets no response. Recent example:
"Why does (fourth baby) already watch TV when you were so strict and irrational with (first baby)'s screentime?!?!"
My husband looked at his phone. FIL yawned and shut his eyes. BIL stared into space. BIL spouse got up and left the room. I busied myself with baby.
My 11 year old looked around, waited a while, realized no one was going to respond to his grandma and said "they like him better than they like me."
Perfect.

Ha, ha - I LOVE this!

Really?

"Oh, you know how it is..."

THANK YOU FOR THIS THREAD OMFG

My husband, FIL, BIL and BIL's husband (same sex marriage) do NOT reply to MIL. They all just stare at their phones, play with the kids, pretend they don't hear. It took me almost 20 years to realize that I do NOT have to be the one to fill the silence. So I stopped responding too. I do the same as them. It was hard at first, because she will pose a rude question and gets no response. Recent example:
"Why does (fourth baby) already watch TV when you were so strict and irrational with (first baby)'s screentime?!?!"
My husband looked at his phone. FIL yawned and shut his eyes. BIL stared into space. BIL spouse got up and left the room. I busied myself with baby.
My 11 year old looked around, waited a while, realized no one was going to respond to his grandma and said "they like him better than they like me."
Perfect.