Anonymous wrote:Did anyone notice how op never came back? Troll.

No, she was just disappointed when so many people said to relax and just call with the news as it's actually not that big of a deal. It's like all those "how will I keep my pregnancy a seeeeeeccccrrreeeeeettttttt with all this wine at the holidays" people who really just want to have people guess...

Did anyone notice how op never came back? Troll.

Say we want to come for your birthday anyway and go. Your DH needs to get a handle on his relationship with his mother before you have kids. Unfortunately my DH is like this about his mother so I know all too well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does she have to first?

Your DH needs to step it up.

The two of you are about to be responsible for another human being one who truly is dependent on other people and he needs to get used to pushing his mother's whims further down on his list of priorities.

People get told as you see them. You can ask them to hold off talking about it on social media, but the reality is once you tell one you have to be prepared for all to know.

Send her the ornament in the mail as planned.

+1000

This. You are going to be parents, stop the BS now that Mil gets to dictate how you live your lives.

Your husband is 100% wrong on this one.

You should tell whoever YOU choose first. It may be MIL, or not. YOU get to decide when, and where

Anonymous wrote:Can OP please explain why she can't just call???

I'm not OP, but I'm sure the answer is " she will FLIP if we call. DH won't have it. She HAS to be told in person or she will be really upset, especially if she knows everyone else was told in person."

Anonymous wrote:Why would you Tell her at HER birthday party except to steal the thunder for yourself? Just call her and tell her. It isn't as though you are announcing the 2nd coming.

It sounds like, in this family, that EVERY event is treated like its the 2nd coming.

Can OP please explain why she can't just call???

So easy, just call her. Carry on.

Otherwise you're a pushover.

Why would you Tell her at HER birthday party except to steal the thunder for yourself? Just call her and tell her. It isn't as though you are announcing the 2nd coming.

I don't think this is a cause for drama. I would just save the ornament for Christmas and send her a bouquet of flowers on her birthday. Include a card that says "Happy birthday, Grandma! Hope you're excited to meet your new grandchild in May 2016! Love, X and Y" Then wait for her to call you.

We sent flowers like this to our grandmas and they were soooo excited and giggly when they called. One told me that she couldn't stop smiling everytime she saw the flowers because she was so excited. The other said she just about fell over when she saw the card. It was a fun reveal.

Tell

Congrats! ! Perfect opportunity to set your MIL in her place before the baby comes. You can anyone you want. Your husband and call and tell her your wonderful news. Or as others have said mail her the ornament.

Your DH is being ridiculous. If it is so important to him, could you still go over for her birthday and give her the ornament? May go over as a surprise? If not, I agree with everyone else to tell her over the phone or via Skype or mail her the ornament or whatever. It's a compromise - she can still find out first, and you can still tell everyone else over the holidays. I think your DH is being ridiculous.

OP: Since it sounds like your plans of how you are going to tell MIL are going to get all mixed up, possibly hurting her feelings, then be sure to save an extra-big piece of placenta for her when the child is born to make up for it.