Anonymous wrote:My sister in law texted me saying: Are you free tomorrow and up for lunch with [newborn niece] and me?

The truth is, I am free. But, I want to say no, for many reasons that I won't bother boring you with. But I want to say it very nicely without suggesting we get together some other time. I think in ten years of knowing each other, we've gotten together for a meal once before. So, we're not close. Suggestions?

Go. If it's so uncommon, then there could be a good reason. She's lonely, she needs help, your brother needs help, she wants to become closer...

"Would love to, but I can't tomorrow. Hope you both are doing well"

Good for you OP.

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably be a beyotch and tell her you're having a flare up of your skin condition and you KNOW they don't want you around the baby with it

Hey, will you have lunch with me?

OP here. Thanks for all the help. Sometimes the simplest things seem hardest. I texted her back last night "Hi! Sorry I can't meet up with you two, but give [Niece] a hug from me."

Just to clarify two things.
1. Niece was born eight weeks ago, and I've already met the baby. Four times. So it's not like I'm refusing to see someone's new baby.
2. My SIL has her sister living in walking distance of her. Since her maternity leave three months ago she's gotten together with more people than I have all year. She is in NO way isolated. In fact, when I was at their house two weekends ago they were getting ready to go to a friend's house after I left. SIL is definitely not sitting at home crying from being lonely.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, isolate the new mother. You're such an innocent victim here.

WTF? Did you even read the whole thread? OP's brother and SIL told her they're grossed out about a skin condition OP is suffering from, to the extent that they don't want her holding their newborn. Plus, they're trying to bully her into a cross-country move to live with OP's parents, who have been abusive in the past. Yes, OP *is* an innocent victim here.

Yes, isolate the new mother. You're such an innocent victim here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, your brother is pushing you to move back in with your parents? How does he have any say in that?

And then yes, just say you aren't available. "Sorry I have plans!". This is why texting is awesome, because brevity is expected. If she follows it up with "ok, when are you free?" just ignore that for awhile and think about how you want to respond.

Personally, I'd just go so I could see my new niece. But that's me and I don't have your history with these people.

After they told her they didn't want her around the baby because of a non-contagious skin condition? Just text her that you aren't free.

"Sorry, I can't make it".

I think they will let OP visit the baby but not hold her or get too close.

OP, just text that you can't make it but hope they're doing well. The End.