Nothing good can come of a co-ed sleepover at this age, or at any age for that matter. They can all see each other during the daytime/evening, when parents are awake and supervising. I am surprised that any parents would be willing to host such a party.

IN a recent conversation with my boss (a pretty high-level executive at a well-regarded company based outside of DC), he said that he and his wife allowed his 17-year-old daughter host a co-ed party with 4 couples after Homecoming. My boss and his wife went to bed at about 10:30 pm, and they set their alarm for 2:00 am. Then at that time, they went downstairs to make sure all of the boys had been picked up by their parents. Then only the girls slept over, and the host parents went to sleep.

It seemed like 2:00 am was kind of a late time for the boys to leave. I think I would have said 11:45 pm or so. I dont want to ruin my kids' social lives, but my parents (who were pretty lenient) would not have even contemplated allowing boys over until 2:00 am (back in the early 1990s).

Anonymous wrote:No way in hell would I let my son go. Can you imagine all the problems? Let's say there is alcohol and then there's fooling around and then there's sex. Let's say it's consensual and then one or the other starts to feel bad and then there are bad accusations. God, this has disaster written all over it.

OP here. This is actually my biggest concern, along with another PP's comment about being put into a situation where sexual activities are expected, even if they are not ready for them. Like that PP, I'm not really against sex per se--but I am against this situation.

So full disclosure for everyone. I very much appreciate all of the responses. I never had the slightest intention of letting DS, but wanted to basically show him that there are plenty of other Mothers and Fathers out there who think this is a bad idea. A rarity in DCUM, consensus. I let him read the responses, and he did see everyone's point. He also read both articles posted by PPs, so thank you for those as well. Some messages are just heard more clearly when they come from elsewhere, or are reinforced by others. Thanks again.

Anonymous wrote:This is a joke, right?

Read the article posted by 11/05/2015 17:22. It's not uncommon.

Say no

You're kidding, right? Surely you know better.

I wouldn't allow it, and I'm even someone who probably would allow my teen to have a boyfriend or girlfriend sleep over, if I knew the other kid's parents were okay with it.

I don't mind sex, per se, but I would mind having them put in an uncomfortable situation in which sexual things are expected.

On the other hand, if I knew the kids well i might feel differently.

A co-ed sleepover at someone's house? Absolutely not. If it were a PTA sponsored after-prom or after-graduation party in a public venue or a church all-nighter that would be different. The difference? Parties put on by organizations have a LOT of supervision. The time is highly structured with events. There are no beds.

Anonymous wrote:This is a joke, right?

+1! I hope so because it sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Please don't. Don't be like the asshole parents who let their kids stay over my neighbor's house all weekend, drinking and drugging and having sex with the kid's 13 year old sister.

I let my 15 yo daughter invite 2 boys (1 was gay) to her birthday sleep-over party. Nobody had sex and there was no drinking. Everyone survived. It was perhaps the most stressful for me, the host parent (dad). I had to wait til 2AM for them to go sleep. At that time, they were about to break the 1 rule I had-- which was boys and girls do not sleep in the same room.

Anyway, I hated it and I was filled with much anxiety about the evening, but it turned out okay.

This is a joke, right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. And at that age, even when they say it is not co-ed .... the boys are lurking somewhere. Oh, the stories of our youth.

OP again. I have boys, not girls. Not that I think that should matter particularly, but just FYI.

Me too, but I was just remembering my youth, and it was usually the girls having a sleep over and the boys sneaking up through the woods and into the basement windows. No parent ever consented to a coed sleepover at any age. But some parents travelled and trusted their very trustworthy, straight A, resume- and reputation-conscious, good kid teens to stay home alone. Not smart.

I consider myself pretty lenient, but hells no.

No way in hell would I let my son go. Can you imagine all the problems? Let's say there is alcohol and then there's fooling around and then there's sex. Let's say it's consensual and then one or the other starts to feel bad and then there are bad accusations. God, this has disaster written all over it.

I went to one of these as a teen. It was the most incredible party ever. Thank god iPhones weren't invented or else the resulting porn would have been popular to this day!