Anonymous
Post 11/02/2015 11:52     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
I have a question. I am going home for thanksgiving where my uncle is a recovering alcoholic. If he hosts, I will abstain from having a glass of wine. If my grandmother hosts, can I bring wine? I would be the only one drinking wine, father will have beer. I am already dreading not having a glass of wine with dinner. I do not drink much and would by no means get drunk, but I really want my wine with dinner!
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2015 09:30     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
Anonymous wrote:I don't think i would ever sneak a flask, but nor would I have my main holiday meal somewhere where they didn't have alcohol. It is an important part of a meal in my culture and I cannot imagine having Xmas or some such without it.


This is the right mindset. If you want alcohol and it is non-negotiable for you, simply decline invitations where no alcohol will be served. It really is that simple.
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2015 09:29     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
Anonymous wrote:I think wine is part of a holiday meal. If you don't like that, don't host! The PP who said it's like a vegetarian hosting Tday and refusing to make turkey is right. Wine has been part of meals and celebrations since it came into existence.

I would totally sneak if I had to. My inlaws buy one bottle for 10 people. We normally bring several bottles of the same wine and just open new ones when no one is looking and stash the empty bottles out of sight. My MIL thinks that we've all been drinking the same one bottle of wine for hours. Works like a charm. And yes, all of us are in on it except my MIL/FIL. So siblings, spouses, aunts/uncles are all on team "wine please!"


So because *you* think wine is part of a holiday meal, others who *don't agree with that thinking* shouldn't host?

"Wine has been part of meals adn celebrations since it came into existence"...pret-ty sure it didn't make an appearance at the first Thanksgiving, Bub.

You'd totally sneak it if you "had to"...do you? Do you HAVE to? Or do you CHOOSE to/WANT to. Because those are two different things.

Um...OK...
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2015 09:28     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
I don't think i would ever sneak a flask, but nor would I have my main holiday meal somewhere where they didn't have alcohol. It is an important part of a meal in my culture and I cannot imagine having Xmas or some such without it.
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2015 09:23     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
I think wine is part of a holiday meal. If you don't like that, don't host! The PP who said it's like a vegetarian hosting Tday and refusing to make turkey is right. Wine has been part of meals and celebrations since it came into existence.

I would totally sneak if I had to. My inlaws buy one bottle for 10 people. We normally bring several bottles of the same wine and just open new ones when no one is looking and stash the empty bottles out of sight. My MIL thinks that we've all been drinking the same one bottle of wine for hours. Works like a charm. And yes, all of us are in on it except my MIL/FIL. So siblings, spouses, aunts/uncles are all on team "wine please!"
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2015 09:17     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People who neeeeeeeed coffee or havvveeeee to have a drink or can't let go of whatever habit for one freaking day are obnoxious and annoying.


+1 Same category of the rude and obnoxious adult picky eater.


YES!


+100...
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2015 09:16     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
My BIL and his wife often host family parties, but they don't drink. (We offer to host as well, but certain holidays they have "claimed.") Most times, this is not a big deal. But on some holidays, like Christmas, it's nice to have some alcohol.

So last year, which had a lot of family drama in it, we sneaked in a flask of alcohol and shared it in the library when the rest of the family was off doing something else. It was fun...had a sense of danger to it, and made the rest of the evening much more fun.

Yes, it's horrible, you should respect their wishes, whatever.

Anybody else??


My aunt doesn't allow alcohol in her home (XH was a violent drunk, one of her adult kids is bipolar and shouldn't drink). Every holiday she hosts, her son and one son-in-law share a flask outside at half-time. Worse, they force the rest of us to cover for them. I do drink, but respect her wishes as it is one day. If you can't stay away from alcohol for a few hours, "pre-game" in your own home or at a bar before coming to the relative's.


You are an adult. No one can "force" you to cover for them. If the other adults choose to comply with this, fine, but you don't have to. Understand the difference between "force" and "ask"/"expect."
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2015 09:12     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
Anonymous wrote:
My BIL and his wife often host family parties, but they don't drink. (We offer to host as well, but certain holidays they have "claimed.") Most times, this is not a big deal. But on some holidays, like Christmas, it's nice to have some alcohol.

So last year, which had a lot of family drama in it, we sneaked in a flask of alcohol and shared it in the library when the rest of the family was off doing something else. It was fun...had a sense of danger to it, and made the rest of the evening much more fun.

Yes, it's horrible, you should respect their wishes, whatever.

Anybody else??


My aunt doesn't allow alcohol in her home (XH was a violent drunk, one of her adult kids is bipolar and shouldn't drink). Every holiday she hosts, her son and one son-in-law share a flask outside at half-time. Worse, they force the rest of us to cover for them. I do drink, but respect her wishes as it is one day. If you can't stay away from alcohol for a few hours, "pre-game" in your own home or at a bar before coming to the relative's.
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2015 08:58     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
Anonymous wrote:
My BIL and his wife often host family parties, but they don't drink. (We offer to host as well, but certain holidays they have "claimed.") Most times, this is not a big deal. But on some holidays, like Christmas, it's nice to have some alcohol.

So last year, which had a lot of family drama in it, we sneaked in a flask of alcohol and shared it in the library when the rest of the family was off doing something else. It was fun...had a sense of danger to it, and made the rest of the evening much more fun.

Yes, it's horrible, you should respect their wishes, whatever.

Anybody else??


Sometimes, you do what you have to do to get through the "togetherness".
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2015 08:56     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
I don't drink much liquor, but I think it's silly to not have wine on Christmas or Thanksgiving. I'd bring a bottle anyway.
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2015 08:55     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
Anonymous wrote:Where do you store your 'flask' and how do you discreetly put the alcohol into your cup without anyone noticing? In the bathroom?


Husband had it in his jacket. Easy, breezy.

Most years we go along with the teetotaling just fine. Last year, however, neither of us were in the mood given the dynamics of the family -- none of which involved alcohol.

And we were simply in a separate room by ourselves when we had some of the alcohol. People were in various rooms of the house.

As far as the drinking / driving scenario -- we had one drink and left 5 hours later. So yes, we drank and we drove.
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2015 08:33     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
12 steps
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2015 08:32     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People who neeeeeeeed coffee or havvveeeee to have a drink or can't let go of whatever habit for one freaking day are obnoxious and annoying.


+1 Same category of the rude and obnoxious adult picky eater.


YES!


Rude and obnoxious is bad no matter why it's happening, but picky eaters aren't doing it to annoy you, and the ones I know would love it if they could face a wider variety of foods.

I can skip the drinks, but I am subject to migraines and a little coffee every day helps me avoid them.
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2015 08:29     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
Anonymous wrote:If you don't like the way the hosts celebrate the holiday, simply decline their polite invitation.

It's one meal. You can't go without a drink for one meal?


NP, and yes, I can, but I like wine with dinner, especially on special occasions.

If it's someone in recovery, I am happy to skip it for a meal. If it's someone who thinks it's morally suspect to drink, that bugs me. Jesus, who you claim is your buddy, drank wine.

My parents like to have a drink before dinner but think wine is a ridiculous affectation, and they ask if I can get by without it as though I have a problem. No, that's fine, because I would like this meal to be over as soon as possible so I can get away from your smug, judgy selves.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2015 21:21     Subject: OK, anybody else sneak a flask into holiday parties at non-drinking relatives' home??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People who neeeeeeeed coffee or havvveeeee to have a drink or can't let go of whatever habit for one freaking day are obnoxious and annoying.


+1 Same category of the rude and obnoxious adult picky eater.


YES!