Anonymous wrote:

I put you in this category for your comments above. My kids aren't "missing" out on anything. They are just getting the same social exposure in a different way.

They are literally missing out on some things -- or, if you don't think that it's anything to miss, they are literally not experiencing some things. This isn't small-mindedness; it's a statement of fact. There are some things that they are not doing because you are not letting them do it. As is your right, of course.

My kids don't go trick-or-treating because [reasons]. Will they be fine even though they don't go trick-or-treating? I assume so. Is that trick-or-treating their only opportunity to eat candy, ring doorbells, go out at night, or wear costumes? No. Are they nonetheless missing out on trick-or-treating? Yes, they are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Do you all really let other people and systems dictate your parenting choices without thought? If you feel field trips are safe enough, then that is your parenting position and I respect that. If it's not, than I'd respect that decision as well.

How am I putting the teacher in an uncomfortable position? I stated our position and she has a choice to select DH or I as a chaperone or not. I wouldn't have stated my position at all of there was a published pre-established alternative, but since there is not I needed to ask what the alternative was if a child doesn't attend a field trip. She had an answer for me immediately, so there is a pre-established alternative. How is that putting her in an uncomfortable position? I stated my position, she stated hers.

People put too much weight in certain "experiences" through institutionalized structures. You can gain those same types of experiences through different paths. My kids aren't going to miss a lot of things because of this.

Yes, they are. They are going to miss every school field trip that you or your husband don't chaperone on. And they are going to miss going on a school field trip without their parents chaperoning. Now, you may not think that either of those things are important, or meaningful, or significant. But your kids are actually going to miss out on those things.

And if you don't camp, your kids are missing out on camping trips. If you don't rock climb, your kids are missing out on rock climbing. If you don't sew, your kids are missing out on learning how to sew. If you don't bake, your kids are missing out on how to learn to bake. If you don't build things, your kids are missing out on how to design and build things. If you don't coach, your kids are missing out on being coached by you. If you don't....the list can go on forever.

Your kids will not get exposed to everything and some things they will get exposed to by different means. What exactly is my kid missing out on? They go plenty of places without their parents....with our trusted friends, with our parents, etc. So, they're not missing out on going places with their friends or without their parents. We take them to the same or similar places that they visit on field trips, so they're not missing the experiences. They do a lot of other activities with their friends outside of school (sports, clubs, personal trips) so they aren't missing out on experiences with their school friends.

Oh ye of little minds....expand you view of the world. Some of my siblings were homeschooled (not a small town) with a large population of homeschooled kids. They don't feel they missed anything. One of them decided by hs to go to school. They still had neighborhood friends they played with after school, they still did activities with other homeschooled kids, etc. So, they actually broadened their circle of friends this way. I always find it small minded when people say that all homeschooling is socially restrictive. People just aren't aware enough.

I put you in this category for your comments above. My kids aren't "missing" out on anything. They are just getting the same social exposure in a different way.

Anonymous wrote:

Do you all really let other people and systems dictate your parenting choices without thought? If you feel field trips are safe enough, then that is your parenting position and I respect that. If it's not, than I'd respect that decision as well.

How am I putting the teacher in an uncomfortable position? I stated our position and she has a choice to select DH or I as a chaperone or not. I wouldn't have stated my position at all of there was a published pre-established alternative, but since there is not I needed to ask what the alternative was if a child doesn't attend a field trip. She had an answer for me immediately, so there is a pre-established alternative. How is that putting her in an uncomfortable position? I stated my position, she stated hers.

People put too much weight in certain "experiences" through institutionalized structures. You can gain those same types of experiences through different paths. My kids aren't going to miss a lot of things because of this.

Yes, they are. They are going to miss every school field trip that you or your husband don't chaperone on. And they are going to miss going on a school field trip without their parents chaperoning. Now, you may not think that either of those things are important, or meaningful, or significant. But your kids are actually going to miss out on those things.

Anonymous wrote:8:05, what if every parent came to the teacher with the same demand? You're putting her in an uncomfortable position by making yourself the squeaky wheel. Just because you have unnatural anxiety about your child doesn't mean you should get preference over other parents for field trips. That's a power play in my book. I feel bad for your kid - he/she is going to miss a lot of things because of this.

Do you all really let other people and systems dictate your parenting choices without thought? If you feel field trips are safe enough, then that is your parenting position and I respect that. If it's not, than I'd respect that decision as well.

How am I putting the teacher in an uncomfortable position? I stated our position and she has a choice to select DH or I as a chaperone or not. I wouldn't have stated my position at all of there was a published pre-established alternative, but since there is not I needed to ask what the alternative was if a child doesn't attend a field trip. She had an answer for me immediately, so there is a pre-established alternative. How is that putting her in an uncomfortable position? I stated my position, she stated hers.

People put too much weight in certain "experiences" through institutionalized structures. You can gain those same types of experiences through different paths. My kids aren't going to miss a lot of things because of this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A parent chaperone lost my child on a field trip in Kindergarten. He didn't run away, she just walked away with her group and left him at the exhibit. I don't think you are crazy, despite the previous posts.

Did he ever turn up again, or is he still missing?

Ha. They found him. But it wasn't one of those times when you momentarily lose track. They had to get security and my child was still sitting at the exhibit 15 minutes later, lost and crying. The mother chaperoning his group was an idiot.

I bet he Learned a life lesson. Pay attention

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I've chaperoned field trips, I take the other kids VERY seriously. If I lose my kid, oh well, it's my kid. If I lose someone else's kid, I would feel seriously terrible. Same when I drive the carpool for soccer - I'm a hyper-vigilant driver and I totally have my "no bad words" filter on if there are other kids in the car. With just my kid, I'm relaxed.

So I'd be surprised if other chaperones don't feel this way.

I absolutely feel this way. I've taught my child how to manage if he gets lost and I'm sure he'd be fine, even if a little bit scared. But I cannot imagine having to tell another parent that I lost their kid, even for a second, or have the child report that to their parent. Ugh.

You would be very surprised then if you chaperoned at our school.

Anonymous wrote:When I've chaperoned field trips, I take the other kids VERY seriously. If I lose my kid, oh well, it's my kid. If I lose someone else's kid, I would feel seriously terrible. Same when I drive the carpool for soccer - I'm a hyper-vigilant driver and I totally have my "no bad words" filter on if there are other kids in the car. With just my kid, I'm relaxed.

So I'd be surprised if other chaperones don't feel this way.

I absolutely feel this way. I've taught my child how to manage if he gets lost and I'm sure he'd be fine, even if a little bit scared. But I cannot imagine having to tell another parent that I lost their kid, even for a second, or have the child report that to their parent. Ugh.

8:05, what if every parent came to the teacher with the same demand? You're putting her in an uncomfortable position by making yourself the squeaky wheel. Just because you have unnatural anxiety about your child doesn't mean you should get preference over other parents for field trips. That's a power play in my book. I feel bad for your kid - he/she is going to miss a lot of things because of this.

When I've chaperoned field trips, I take the other kids VERY seriously. If I lose my kid, oh well, it's my kid. If I lose someone else's kid, I would feel seriously terrible. Same when I drive the carpool for soccer - I'm a hyper-vigilant driver and I totally have my "no bad words" filter on if there are other kids in the car. With just my kid, I'm relaxed.

So I'd be surprised if other chaperones don't feel this way.

" Just because you're offended that some parents don't trust the flightly moms that tend to chaperone, doesn't mean I have hold my tongue and let my kids go off with you."

Feel free to make your personal choices in parenting, but please do not insult the parents who do chaperone.

Anonymous wrote:

I'm not insulting anyone. I've witnessed what I consider irresponsible behavior in more than one chaperone, on more than one occasion. I have no obligation to trust any parent sight unseen. Funny thing, I'm not a helicopter parent. I give my kids a very long leash in most areas, except in this area. I don't interfere with school, sports, etc. We do more outdoor and enriching experiences as a family than she'll ever get on a silly, rushed school field trip to the zoo for 3 hours.

Yes, you are. By definition, basically. You may not be a helicopter parent about every aspect of your child's life, but you certainly are a helicopter parent about this aspect.

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for your child and her teacher and the parents of her classmates who you are insulting. You are entitled to your Helicopter parenting style. However you cross the line when you attempt to bully the teacher to get what you want.

Sincerely,
SAHM who has chaperoned many field trips and never lost a child, nope not a one.

Here's the deal: I'm their parent. I'm in charge of raising them in the best way I see fit. I'm not comfortable with the situation. Therefore, they don't go.

I'm not insulting anyone. I've witnessed what I consider irresponsible behavior in more than one chaperone, on more than one occasion. I have no obligation to trust any parent sight unseen. Funny thing, I'm not a helicopter parent. I give my kids a very long leash in most areas, except in this area. I don't interfere with school, sports, etc. We do more outdoor and enriching experiences as a family than she'll ever get on a silly, rushed school field trip to the zoo for 3 hours.

As for bullying the teacher, really? If the teacher is that sensitive than she needs to find her big girl panties. I stated our guidelines for our children and she made her decision. I have no hard feelings over it. Am I a little surprised that she chose not the select me/DH as a chaperone for this trip since my DD expressed her interest, yes. Was I upset by it, no. There was no bullying involved. I have no expectations to chaperone all of the field trips, but was told that most parents get to chaperone at least one if they are interested. I won't take off work for a field trip my DC is not interested in, so this was the only one I was going to take off for but I was not selected. The teacher knew that and if her non-selection was based on feeling bullied than that is on her. She's entitled to her feelings, but those feelings shouldn't be projected on me. We kept her out that day since all of the classes in her grade were attending and we made a fun girls-day out of it. My DD was not upset by it at all. For the remaining field trips, if my DH can go, he'll volunteer and see what happens. If not, she'll go to another class in her grade that day.

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I agree. I don't let my child out of my site. No babysitters, no outside activities (the supervisors might be predators), because no one will be as vigilant about the safety of my child as me. I have submitted a FOIA to get the background checks of all school personnel.

pp here - you're taking what most of us are saying to the extreme and bring ridiculous. I have many close friends and parent of DC's friends I trust once I get to know them that I leave my kids with. If I don't trust them or have an gut instinct telling me otherwise then they don't go with them anywhere unsupervised. Just because you're offended that some parents don't trust the flightly moms that tend to chaperone, doesn't mean I have hold my tongue and let my kids go off with you.

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for your child and her teacher and the parents of her classmates who you are insulting. You are entitled to your Helicopter parenting style. However you cross the line when you attempt to bully the teacher to get what you want.

Sincerely,
SAHM who has chaperoned many field trips and never lost a child, nope not a one.

This one time I chaperoned a field trip to the zoo, and here is what happened: nothing. Well, that's not totally accurate. I think that one of the children forgot his hat.

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I agree. I don't let my child out of my site. No babysitters, no outside activities (the supervisors might be predators), because no one will be as vigilant about the safety of my child as me. I have submitted a FOIA to get the background checks of all school personnel.

You'll be waiting a long time for a response, since the FOIA only applies to federal records. (Try harder next time, eh?)