Anonymous
10/24/2015 10:03
Subject: Re:does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
Anonymous wrote:I suspect my DW is reading this post here on DCUM, feeling validated about how lame her DH is for not planning date nights. Honey - are you here? Of course, she never recognizes all the things that I actually do for her beyond date nights.
Date nights ultimately just stress her out. She thinks she wants them - but then ruins the spontaneity and fun for both of us by spending the hour ahead of time and often half the date complaining about how "fat" she is, and how she has nothing to wear in a giant closet full of clothes, how frustrated she is with this or that...
My wife does this as well. I told her only half jokingly once what she needs is to find a boyfriend. They don't see all the bullshit on the front end of "date night" and can enjoy the illusion. Husbands have already seen behind the curtain
Anonymous
10/24/2015 10:00
Subject: does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My DH planned a weekend getaway for next month. I don't know where we're going.
He probably doesn't either (yet)
He told me he booked it already. He wants to surprise me.
He wouldn't tell me something that wasn't true.
I'm sure he has. Just a joke about procrastinating husbands (of which I am one)
Anonymous
10/24/2015 09:28
Subject: Re:does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
+1 ^^^
Anonymous
10/24/2015 09:03
Subject: Re:does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
I suspect my DW is reading this post here on DCUM, feeling validated about how lame her DH is for not planning date nights. Honey - are you here? Of course, she never recognizes all the things that I actually do for her beyond date nights.
Date nights ultimately just stress her out. She thinks she wants them - but then ruins the spontaneity and fun for both of us by spending the hour ahead of time and often half the date complaining about how "fat" she is, and how she has nothing to wear in a giant closet full of clothes, how frustrated she is with this or that...
Date nights ultimately just stress her out. She thinks she wants them - but then ruins the spontaneity and fun for both of us by spending the hour ahead of time and often half the date complaining about how "fat" she is, and how she has nothing to wear in a giant closet full of clothes, how frustrated she is with this or that...
Anonymous
10/23/2015 20:02
Subject: does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
This thread makes me feel so much better. Married for 8 years and DH does not plan anything on his own for the most part. I make all of our plans for date nights and dinners with friends... if I didn't we would likely never go out. I go out to dinner with girlfriends once or twice a month, DH goes out with his friends maybe once every 6 months, and that's only when someone else has a specific plan.
When it comes to birthdays, I usually tell him where I want to go and he can execute, but anything beyond that is a lost cause.
While it does bother me a bit that he doesn't try, I know this is just who he is. DH likes having plans, he just prefers not to make them. It truly stresses him out.
When it comes to birthdays, I usually tell him where I want to go and he can execute, but anything beyond that is a lost cause.
While it does bother me a bit that he doesn't try, I know this is just who he is. DH likes having plans, he just prefers not to make them. It truly stresses him out.
Anonymous
10/23/2015 19:34
Subject: does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
What's a date night?
Anonymous
10/23/2015 18:55
Subject: does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
Y'all are in some lousy marriages, this is partly why people divorce.
To the person that joked about the husband not planning something yet, check the bank accounts/credit cars, there is probably a hit or two somewhere, or be truly surprised.
To the person that joked about the husband not planning something yet, check the bank accounts/credit cars, there is probably a hit or two somewhere, or be truly surprised.
Anonymous
10/23/2015 18:36
Subject: does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
If "date night" is code for sex, then yes. In all other interpretations and scenarios, no.
Anonymous
10/23/2015 18:34
Subject: does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
Bahahahhaa, I'm sorry, what was the question? I can't read the responses through my tears of laughter
Anonymous
10/23/2015 18:33
Subject: does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
No. I can't think of a single event he planned all by himself. It's always me nudging him ad naseum.
Now, I do everything and just forward him a calendar invitation to his work calendar. All he does is "accept" the meeting.
I'm just happy he doesn't complain about what I choose to do. So, it's fun plays, girlie movies, basically whatever I feel like doing. He knows better than to complain -- I would tell him he has the plan dates and he knows he won't. So there we have it -- if I want to go somewhere I just plan it. Been to lovely Broadway plays, great reataurants, basically everything I want. He pays. Lol. So I don't complain anymore (also, long married here - 17 years).
Oh, and I also plan my own birthday and Mother's Day. Last Mother's Day I spent it biking around Copenhagen and the Danish country-side with my family! Dream! But, again, I planned it. He paid and came along. Can't really complain.
Now, I do everything and just forward him a calendar invitation to his work calendar. All he does is "accept" the meeting.
I'm just happy he doesn't complain about what I choose to do. So, it's fun plays, girlie movies, basically whatever I feel like doing. He knows better than to complain -- I would tell him he has the plan dates and he knows he won't. So there we have it -- if I want to go somewhere I just plan it. Been to lovely Broadway plays, great reataurants, basically everything I want. He pays. Lol. So I don't complain anymore (also, long married here - 17 years).
Oh, and I also plan my own birthday and Mother's Day. Last Mother's Day I spent it biking around Copenhagen and the Danish country-side with my family! Dream! But, again, I planned it. He paid and came along. Can't really complain.
Anonymous
10/23/2015 18:28
Subject: does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
Anonymous wrote:OP, only women care about Date night.
dh here. Incorrect.
Anonymous
10/23/2015 18:21
Subject: does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
OP, only women care about Date night.
Anonymous
10/23/2015 16:39
Subject: does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
It's probably 60% me, 40% DH, he always takes care of planning Valentines, my birthday, or our anniversary also. He also sometimes take the day off with me on my flex day that I have off, so we spend the entire day together while the kids are in school.
Anonymous
10/23/2015 16:36
Subject: Re:does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No, and I wish he would. I had no idea this was so common.
lol yes, it is very common. If your husband every DOES plan a veritable date night for you, you should reinforce the hell out of it and pretty much kiss his ass to eternity. Men by and large do not do this. It is a fantasy, sadly.
Husband here. Yup. I used to plan date nights and arrange birthday parties for her but I always did it "wrong" and was soundly criticized. Lesson learned, don't bother.
+1
Anonymous
10/23/2015 16:34
Subject: does your husband initiate or plan "date nights"?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My DH planned a weekend getaway for next month. I don't know where we're going.
He probably doesn't either (yet)
He told me he booked it already. He wants to surprise me.
He wouldn't tell me something that wasn't true.