Anonymous wrote:Are you hotter?

OP here.

I am not hideous by any means, I'm cute but my sister is stunningly beautiful. I can see why a rich guy would notice her in a room.She's also confident and super social so people tend to love her.

I feel like, her recent good fortune regarding her love life isn't new. She has always had a "charmed" life compared to me. She was a gorgeous kid, a very popular girl her whole life. She is beautiful, smart and put together. She has always had a lot of friends and life has a way of working out for her.

I was always the awkward loser-ish older sister who couldn't quite find my footing. In a way, its no surprise that she ended up with a great rich husband. Just another thing at life that she wins at.

Anonymous wrote:Those saying you'll benefit with nice gifts or trips have me shaking my head. Be glad that she will be taken care of, be glad that you likely won't have to worry about her or her family financially (that's a real stressor).

Be glad because she's happy and she's your sister. Don't be glad because of the "fringe benefits."

Oh come on. It was discussed as a silver lining, and encouragement of love, gratitude and letting go of jealousy was always there. Go sniff your smelling salts and move on.

The reality is that have lots of disposable income does bring about an easier lifestyle. I certainly understand how you feel OP. I won't tell you in the long run things will even out or even that your life will be better for it because you didn't have the excess income. Neither may be true. I think it's ok to be jealous - it's human nature.

Are you hotter?

Anonymous wrote:My sister is rich too but I don't envy her. Sounds like you envy things, not your sister. Did you tell this to your husband ?

You should.

Wow, that is some mean-spirited and nasty advice. OP, pretty much anyone would be envious in your shoes; it's totally normal. But holier than thou PP wants to make you feel like shit for it. It's OK. On the bright side, you'll probably get to go to that lake house too, and you guys will get sweet presents, and you are getting some super nice in-laws! You have love, your sister has love - it could be so much worse.

Maybe it isn't jealousy but she is being a brat.

Your sister is flaunting her in-laws' wealth and a future lifestyle filled with luxuries. Yes, that kind of income and lifestyle disparity with other lower income family members can cause intense jealousy.

Those saying you'll benefit with nice gifts or trips have me shaking my head. Be glad that she will be taken care of, be glad that you likely won't have to worry about her or her family financially (that's a real stressor).

Be glad because she's happy and she's your sister. Don't be glad because of the "fringe benefits."

Perhaps this means your parents will be well cared for as they age. That'd be the silver lining to me. Especially if your folks are broke too.

I'd also totally scam a few invites to the lake house.

Be kind, be polite, don't comment on money or possessions, move ahead with love, not jealousy.

This is probably how Pippa Middleton feels every single day!

My advice, when I feel jealous of a person, I try and get to know them better. The result goes one of two ways - I find I like them, and thus don't care about all their cool things or find them threatening OR I figure out that they are not interesting and I wouldn't have liked them even if they had all that cool stuff. So, just spend some time getting to know BIL and family, if they are good nice people, you won't care about the stuff anymore. If it turns out they are snobby asshats, overly absorbed in status-symbols and other forms of tom-foolery, then you can write them off. I spent the first couple of years of my marriage doing this with BIL's family. It turns out they fell into the later category and I opt to spend as little time around them as possible. But I am friends with some other people (who also happen to be super rich) who aren't snobby assholes absorbed with status symbols. Money doesn't determine your personality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister is rich too but I don't envy her. Sounds like you envy things, not your sister. Did you tell this to your husband ?

You should.

Why?

Maybe it will make him work harder so OP can have the rich life too because according to the shallow females here, being rich solves all of your problems.

Maybe OP should figure out how to make a lot of money, if that is what she wants.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't be so jealous. Her ILs are probably so angry and bitter that he's not marrying well and that they have to pay for the wedding. She will probably never fit into that lifestyle and will always be known as a gold digger.
Enjoy your happy life!

WTH are you talking about?

There is some grain of truth in the statement form PP at the top.

Unless you know the to-be-ILs personally, you have no way of knowing whether that is true or not.

I feel for you OP. That is tough b.c. you sound genuinely happy for you sister. This isn't quite the same, but I've had several people close to me accomplish life dreams of mine that I haven't yet accomplished. At this point, there are some dreams I probably won't accomplish. The funny thing is, some of those dreams mean a lot less to me now than they did previously. But I hear you that it is tough to be happy for someone else when it reminds you of what you feel may be lacking in your own life. As other PPs have said, focus on what you do have, try to be happy for your sister, try not to compare. I have two sisters myself and I know this can be tough. Think how excatic you'd be to have what she is having and think of ways you can help make her special day special. Be a part of her joy, be happy for her she won't have the money worries you both grew up with. Be hapypy you won't have to worry about her financial stability. Be happy that she may be in a better position than you to finance your parents last years (that may take a financial burden off you you!). Until this wedding occurs you'll probalby be inundated with your sister's joy.

It's OK to be a little jealous, OP, and to vent about it anonymously here in a "safe place."

Some silver linings:

1) You have a great husband, and seem to love your family. That is wonderful! Count the blessings you DO have.

2) I know it sounds materialistic, but you'll benefit from her good fortune, too! If you are genuinely happy for her and supportive of her, you'll probably end up with some nice gifts and maybe getting to tag along on some vacations or whatever. Just keep in mind she doesn't owe you ANYTHING, so don't ask unless you truly need help. I'm just saying, there are worse things than getting to be a bridesmaid in a fancy wedding with great food and stuff. Enjoy the perks!

3) You never know what pain or hardships she may have to face someday, or that you'll have to face someday. Life isn't a competition. Focus on the good, let go of the "bad"/jealousy, and be truly grateful for what you have.