Anonymous wrote:Forgetting OP and her brother, who the Hell wants to go to a Thanksgiving dinner in a cramped petting zoo?

me! I love animals, and get overwhelmed with screaming kids.

The problem with some of the compromises being suggested is that her brother and SIL deny that their dogs pee/poop in the house. Their reply to any suggestion (like they be confined to one room, use pee pads or kennels) would like be, "But our dogs never have accidents anymore."

I don't have cats anymore (and never had dogs), but I don't think I would ever let someone bring a dog inside my house -esp. overnight. The host gets to set the rules. I'd just tell your brother your brother that your house is going to be full enough without the dogs. If you go into the issue of dogs habits, they are just going to get more defensive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was also with OP until she said they always welcome your dog. You need to reciprocate or stop taking you dog (and I don't care that it's on the way to your IL's house).

1) OP's dog does not have accidents.
2) Brother and SIL do not have cats.

It's a very different scenario.

Yes, but she needs to stop taking her dog to their place. Its about fairness.

The dogs are tiny right? I would agree to allow the dogs to come, with the agreement that if the dogs and cat do not mix well or if there is too much chaos, the dogs will be babygated into one room for most of the stay.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have an area of your house that has tile/something easy to clean up? If so, I would gate them in that area. Otherwise, the dogs just can't come. If their dogs were potty trained, then that would be different.

They will yip yap their little heads off

Do you have an area of your house that has tile/something easy to clean up? If so, I would gate them in that area. Otherwise, the dogs just can't come. If their dogs were potty trained, then that would be different.

Forgetting OP and her brother, who the Hell wants to go to a Thanksgiving dinner in a cramped petting zoo?

No, they don't bring their dogs, and you should stop bringing yours. It is incredibly rude on both sides. I've had to tell my brother and SIL "no," also.

I hate dogs and would not let them in my house but you are unreasonable as you bring yours to her house and should extend the same to her dogs.

Just say no. And stop taking your dog with you when you go to their house.

I do see this as more than just a reciprocity/fairness argument if their dogs are not completely housetrained. If your dog doesn't pee on their rugs, but their dogs pee on yours, it's not a two-way street.

Also, we had a cat who was traumatized by other strange animals, started peeing to mark territory, and did not stop until the day he died, although we went through every treatment in the book. As a cat owner myself, I would never allow someone to bring their strange (to my cat) dog for a holiday, with lots of people running around. If your cat starts peeing outside the box, there is zero guarantee they will stop, ever.

Anonymous wrote:I don't want dogs in my house that have accidents ever. I have a big dog that never has accidents, but sheds horribly so I never bring her to other people's houses if they show the least hesitancy. We have used good trustworthy kennels and life is easier. Sure we miss her, but she's fine.

A compromise could be putting them in doggy daycare for the bulk of the day. Keep them confined in crates or one uncarpeted area overnight with pee pads. Try and talk them into the belly bands too.

I am a big dog person and made the mistake a few times to allow little dogs here for a few days. What a pain in the butt! Such tiny bladders that never empty completely. The least excitement and they're peeing and marking.

This sounds sensible, but I can just hear the owners saying ",,, but she wasn't comfy, so we took it off..."

OP Say no and stick to it. When people bring their dogs (especially ones that pee and poop) it is an undue strain on the hostess. maybe you should get out of the habit of bringing yours as a gesture for family unity. But I know that if I had 10 people, 2 cats, 3 dogs with 2 that were not potty trained, it would be a nightmare not a celebration. It also puts you in the position of arguing with them about the (lack of) potty training, so you are at odds with them over that. Just not a pleasant dynamic. Once they are gone, and you are cleaning up the mess you will regret it. Also your dog and cats may feel the need to cover up their scent (which remains for them long after you clean) with a few pees and plops of their own.
A big no to me.

I don't want dogs in my house that have accidents ever. I have a big dog that never has accidents, but sheds horribly so I never bring her to other people's houses if they show the least hesitancy. We have used good trustworthy kennels and life is easier. Sure we miss her, but she's fine.

A compromise could be putting them in doggy daycare for the bulk of the day. Keep them confined in crates or one uncarpeted area overnight with pee pads. Try and talk them into the belly bands too.

I am a big dog person and made the mistake a few times to allow little dogs here for a few days. What a pain in the butt! Such tiny bladders that never empty completely. The least excitement and they're peeing and marking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was also with OP until she said they always welcome your dog. You need to reciprocate or stop taking you dog (and I don't care that it's on the way to your IL's house).

1) OP's dog does not have accidents.
2) Brother and SIL do not have cats.

It's a very different scenario.

Agree. Putting aside the fact that these dogs are not fully housebroken (which is a large issue), it's incredibly stressful for cats to deal with strange dogs. OP, I probably would avoid bringing my dog with me to their house given these facts just because of the perceived parity issue, but no way would I let them bring the dogs to my house.

Anonymous wrote:I was also with OP until she said they always welcome your dog. You need to reciprocate or stop taking you dog (and I don't care that it's on the way to your IL's house).

1) OP's dog does not have accidents.
2) Brother and SIL do not have cats.

It's a very different scenario.

Dog owner here. You are not unreasonable. Obviously your house is not the best for two additional dogs. They need to kennel or get a dog sitter or not come.