Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People tend to try to compensate for things. I've only heard women do this, and it's because they dated a lot longer than they wanted to before getting married. I guess they think adding the extra years together somehow legitimizes it. Or they say they already "felt married" the whole time. It's silly but I just let people say whatever makes them feel good about themselves because it doesn't affect me in any way.

Absolutely. I have never heard a man answer this way.

Then you haven't met my husband. He remembers when we met (in college). So if you ask him how long we've been married, he would say a long time...we met in college.

Are you sure you went to college? This makes zero sense as written.

A study came out that people who date 4+ years before marriage are more likely to get divorced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People tend to try to compensate for things. I've only heard women do this, and it's because they dated a lot longer than they wanted to before getting married. I guess they think adding the extra years together somehow legitimizes it. Or they say they already "felt married" the whole time. It's silly but I just let people say whatever makes them feel good about themselves because it doesn't affect me in any way.

Absolutely. I have never heard a man answer this way.

Then you haven't met my husband. He remembers when we met (in college). So if you ask him how long we've been married, he would say a long time...we met in college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been married for 8 yrs when I was 7 months pregnant. Lived together for 20 yrs. Never broke up or dated others during that time. We just never made it official. Telling people we have been married for 8 yrs doesn't tell much about our relationship.

It answers the question they asked.

Yeah but then they ask stuff like, "how did you meet?" etc. Just easier to say we have been together for 28 yrs then go on to explain how and why we didn't get married for 20 yrs.

Anonymous wrote:I didn't know it was a competition, OP.

Married 17 years. 20 years from day we met. No breaking up between.

I like to hear the back history. I think it's neat to hear couples knew one another in HS or as kids --even if they weren't dating that whole time.

I also view the addition as an invitation of sorts. It's a nice opening to learning more about someone, hear their story. Why is this a problem? Why on Earth?!!

Even if somebody offers a hippy-dippy reason they were together for years and somehow it was...I don't know, health insurance or a child, a beloved grandma's wish or a cancer scare that had them concretize their longstanding bond. It's conversation, for goodness sake, not an IRS audit.

Why bother asking how long people have been married instead of how long they've been together? Isn't the point to know how long they've known each other?

It's akin to asking someone how they enjoyed the intermission instead of asking them about the show.

I have honestly never asked someone how long they've been married unless they announce it's their anniversary (because then it's obligatory since they are obviously looking for attention). But I've asked people when they met/how they met.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been married for 8 yrs when I was 7 months pregnant. Lived together for 20 yrs. Never broke up or dated others during that time. We just never made it official. Telling people we have been married for 8 yrs doesn't tell much about our relationship.

It answers the question they asked.

Exactly. Why is this so complex for people?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it's strange to tack on how long you've been together as a couple when asked how long you've been married.

Believe it or not, it was illegal for my parents to marry in the Great State of Mississippi. They were together long before they visited the District and got married here.

As with so many others who have responded, it provides context. Or, a more accurate account of how long they've been together as a married-like couple, without the documentation.

Ugh. I really don't see how so many silly things bother people.

Why couldn't thy marry? Why is it so important for them to add on those extra years? Do they feel simply being married is not enough? That they must justify their marriage to people in Te course of chit chat? Help me understand.

Anonymous wrote:People tend to try to compensate for things. I've only heard women do this, and it's because they dated a lot longer than they wanted to before getting married. I guess they think adding the extra years together somehow legitimizes it. Or they say they already "felt married" the whole time. It's silly but I just let people say whatever makes them feel good about themselves because it doesn't affect me in any way.

Absolutely. I have never heard a man answer this way.

Anonymous wrote:Been married for 8 yrs when I was 7 months pregnant. Lived together for 20 yrs. Never broke up or dated others during that time. We just never made it official. Telling people we have been married for 8 yrs doesn't tell much about our relationship.

It answers the question they asked.

People tend to try to compensate for things. I've only heard women do this, and it's because they dated a lot longer than they wanted to before getting married. I guess they think adding the extra years together somehow legitimizes it. Or they say they already "felt married" the whole time. It's silly but I just let people say whatever makes them feel good about themselves because it doesn't affect me in any way.

Been married for 8 yrs when I was 7 months pregnant. Lived together for 20 yrs. Never broke up or dated others during that time. We just never made it official. Telling people we have been married for 8 yrs doesn't tell much about our relationship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes me wonder why te people couldn't get their acts together to marry sooner. Obviously they had problems.

God- no!! I know HS couples that broke up before college--they dated others, were single, learned about themselves. Should they have married at 18????

You missed the point. If they go on to get married at 28, they can't say they've been together 10 years at that point.

Agree

Anonymous wrote:It makes me wonder why te people couldn't get their acts together to marry sooner. Obviously they had problems.

...or maybe they met in high school or college and delayed marriage until they were actual grown-ups?

Jesus, some citizens of DCUMLandia are dense.

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it's strange to tack on how long you've been together as a couple when asked how long you've been married.

Believe it or not, it was illegal for my parents to marry in the Great State of Mississippi. They were together long before they visited the District and got married here.

As with so many others who have responded, it provides context. Or, a more accurate account of how long they've been together as a married-like couple, without the documentation.

Ugh. I really don't see how so many silly things bother people.