Do not get rid of the sports team if that's his main social outlet and he's good at it. You want to keep the things that he's successful with, not get rid of them as a punishment.

Definitely check for learning disabilities and depression, which it sounds like you are.

1. As suggested above, could be a learning disability. A psychoeducational evlauation is a panel of tests that might indicate what the issue is. Part of that includes a basic psychological assessment.

2. Yes, the school may not be a good fit. Home schooling, online schooling (the K12 program) are also options.

3. It may be a maturity issue. One of my kids is immature for his age and has similar struggles.

4. Don't cut screen time completely. It's not the issue. It is something he has some competence at that gives him some self esteem. Though unlikely he may be an autodidactic and just need to find the right opportunity -- the computer may be one way of finding that.

Anonymous wrote:A therapist sounds like a good idea. When I started falling apart in high school, it was my grades that went first. I even started deliberately putting the wrong answers down on tests. It took my parents awhile to see how desperate I was because I wasn't able to communicate that to them. A therapist helped a lot.

PP, why did you deliberately put down wrong answers , just curious.

also, what decade were you a kid in ?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His school literally does not include a certain GPA requirement for sports. I may ask his coach to talk to him. He likes his coach and so do we.

Drowning is a good word to use-- I think that may be it. I am looking into a therapist. Thank you, all.

It may not be a requirement for the school, but maybe it should be to you, as the parent? I would think not flunking out should be more important than sports, IMO. Maybe if you told your DS that he has to have a minimum GPA to play, he'd be more inclined to study? Right now, he doesn't think it's important.

I disagree. If he enjoys the sport and it is a social outlet for him then pulling him out could backfire. If he is depressed or stressed then having physical activity is especially important!

+1, especially if this is the only area in his life where he is feeling successful.

This sounds a lot like my son. He was simply not happy in school, even though it was a terrific school and he's very smart. He's thriving now in college, but I should have switched him out of his high school.

Anonymous wrote:Nobody is good at everything, and why when a kid is not good academically everyone automatically jump on the LD or depression?

OP: be honest to yourself, is your DC bright and just not applying himself, or is this the best he can be academically? And if it's later, perhaps transferring to a less demanding school? That might boost his confidence and therefore turn the corner?

As for the social aspect about not hanging out with friends, I don't think that's unusual. He is at school with these kids all day as it is, maybe he just want a break from them? Would you want to hang out with your coworkers on weekends too? I don't think so.

That's what I said to myself for 2 years and I could not have been more wrong.