Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just explained it to my DD in a straight forward way. "When a female gets pregnant she has three options: she can have what will turn into a baby and keep it, have what will turn into a baby and give it up for adoption or have an abortion which is a medical procedure where they take out the cells that are called a fetus, before they turn into a baby. Then the woman isn't pregnant anymore and a baby isn't born. Some people think that's wrong, but I think they're wrong. Nobody should have a baby if they're not prepared to."

Did your daughter want to know more information about what happens to the cells that are called a fetus? Because I could easily see a kid that's curious enough to ask about abortion being curious about what's the difference between the cells and the baby and then wanting to know where the cells go. And then probably wanting to know what the cells look like before they turn into a baby, and then wanting to know [/i]when[i] the cells go from being cells to turning into a baby etc. There would be a lot of questions I'd think...

The truth is that DD is 12.5 now and we have had multiple talks about family planning and abortions and protesters, etc. I don't believe in having just ONE talk about things like that, or about sex, or puberty or domestic abuse. It's a multi-year on-going discussion that spans almost their entire childhood. I am not at all afraid to let DD know that if that clump of cells grew where it was that it would turn from a fetus into a baby. I am very pro-choice, almost to the point of being pro-abortion. So I'm not at all afraid for DD to know about abortions, and part of that is knowing that some people are very, very against them. But we talk a lot about the value of life, how to protest issues in fair ways, etc.

We'd already had the 'where babies come from' talk, so I just took it a bit further and said that sometimes, people have sex even if they do not want a baby. If that's the case, they go thru a process called abortion where the the mom either takes a pill to kill the baby or doctors use tools to kill the baby.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just explained it to my DD in a straight forward way. "When a female gets pregnant she has three options: she can have what will turn into a baby and keep it, have what will turn into a baby and give it up for adoption or have an abortion which is a medical procedure where they take out the cells that are called a fetus, before they turn into a baby. Then the woman isn't pregnant anymore and a baby isn't born. Some people think that's wrong, but I think they're wrong. Nobody should have a baby if they're not prepared to."

Did your daughter want to know more information about what happens to the cells that are called a fetus? Because I could easily see a kid that's curious enough to ask about abortion being curious about what's the difference between the cells and the baby and then wanting to know where the cells go. And then probably wanting to know what the cells look like before they turn into a baby, and then wanting to know [/i]when[i] the cells go from being cells to turning into a baby etc. There would be a lot of questions I'd think...

Not that PP, but by 8 they should have seen plants germinate. That whole lima bean in a cup with a wet paper towel thing. Give that as an analogy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expressing their right to free speech. next topic. 8 years old is too young.

Why is 8 too young? He's been exposed to the idea. I've seen some of the anti abortion posters and some of them are quite graphic. I'd rather give him a little knowledge to go with that than let his imagination run wild. He can ask his friends at school and get misinformation. I like to stay ahead of that and be the one who teaches my kids these things.

I don't like my agenda set by those people.

8 is probably young enough that diversion works without the pics grabbing imagination (that's why I told my 8year old I didn't know what oral sex was -- and how bout them Mets). If your 8 year old was disturbed, then by all means supply a bit of knowledge to avoid misinformation and other throubles. For most of us, our 8year olds would be curious in the moment and then forget about it.

I think it depends on the 8 year old. Mine would never go for deflection.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expressing their right to free speech. next topic. 8 years old is too young.

Why is 8 too young? He's been exposed to the idea. I've seen some of the anti abortion posters and some of them are quite graphic. I'd rather give him a little knowledge to go with that than let his imagination run wild. He can ask his friends at school and get misinformation. I like to stay ahead of that and be the one who teaches my kids these things.

I don't like my agenda set by those people.

8 is probably young enough that diversion works without the pics grabbing imagination (that's why I told my 8year old I didn't know what oral sex was -- and how bout them Mets). If your 8 year old was disturbed, then by all means supply a bit of knowledge to avoid misinformation and other throubles. For most of us, our 8year olds would be curious in the moment and then forget about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went past a Hope demonstration, with signs of fetuses photos, baby murdererers etc.
8yo and 5 yo in the car.
8yo asking what is this etc. I wasn't prepared so I managed to difuse him saying people were protesting, what about? I said it is a little long to explain, I will tell you when I pick you up.
I dropped him off at this activity, so there was really no time to get into this, plus I wasn't sure how to explain it to him, even more tricky with 5yo listening.

Anybody has ideas? This will come up again really soon.

What is wrong with you? You just change the subject of tell him that the people are showing their opinion and You do not have to go into detail. They could be demonstrating against eating beets! Stop being an idiot!

OP isn't an idiot. Kids deserve answers to their questions.

Anonymous wrote:So what is a good age to explain it and how would you approach it.

I explain stuff as soon as my kids ask. If your child is old enough to ask the question, he/she is old enough to get an answer in age appropriate terms.

My kids know how babies are made, (and have since they were 4 and 6) so my answer would start there.

I'd tell them this:

1) A baby grows from a fertilized egg.
2) The egg is fertilized in the mother's fallopian .
3) The egg goes to the uterus and implants.
4) Once the egg implants, it grows into an embryo and then a fetus and then a baby.

An abortion is a medical procedure that takes an implanted egg or embryo or fetus out of the uterus. Once it's out, it can't grow in to a baby.

Some people think that is the same as killing a baby and it's murder. Some people don't. Your father and I don't think it's murder.

People who do think it's murder get very upset about it. That is why they are protesting.

Anonymous wrote:Gave my kid a very clinical explanation of abortion around age ten. The kid was horrified.

Exactly- as with most things, kids see the truth in the matter. When you talk about what abortion actually it, it is horrifying. It is a brutal, harsh procedure.

Anonymous wrote:We went past a Hope demonstration, with signs of fetuses photos, baby murdererers etc.
8yo and 5 yo in the car.
8yo asking what is this etc. I wasn't prepared so I managed to difuse him saying people were protesting, what about? I said it is a little long to explain, I will tell you when I pick you up.
I dropped him off at this activity, so there was really no time to get into this, plus I wasn't sure how to explain it to him, even more tricky with 5yo listening.

Anybody has ideas? This will come up again really soon.

What is wrong with you? You just change the subject of tell him that the people are showing their opinion and You do not have to go into detail. They could be demonstrating against eating beets! Stop being an idiot!

Whenever a child asks about something, answer their question. Because if you do not your child WILL think about it in silence, your child WILL imagine all kinds of things and the question WILL NOT just go away...even if your child doesn't ask again because he/she now knows Mommy won't answer.

Your child saw something very graphic. Those images are not going to just go away, the younger the child the MORE they are going to stay engrained because young minds are so much more impressionable.

Now as for what to say...I am a very direct and very honest person so my words would probably not be right for most people - but I WOULD explain that when a woman gets pregnant, sometimes she cannot or doesn't want to have the baby (talk about possible reasons, let your child think and come up with some as well as interactive discussion helps with processing information!!!). Then a woman can undergo medical treatment with drugs when the baby is not yet developed very far to end the pregnancy...or if the baby is already too big then a surgery like procedure is used to kill the growing baby. Yes. I would say "kill". Because it's the truth. You don't have to of course.

I had this talk with my 6 year old and it went like this:

"You know how our family only has 3 kids, because that's the number of kids we wanted? There are lots of ways to plan your family if you don't want to get pregnant. You can not have sex. You can use birth control, which is medicine you get from your doctor. But if those things don't work, and you get pregnant anyway, the doctors can stop the pregnancy. It's hard, because that pregnancy could become a baby, but no one should have to be a mom if they don't want to."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just explained it to my DD in a straight forward way. "When a female gets pregnant she has three options: she can have what will turn into a baby and keep it, have what will turn into a baby and give it up for adoption or have an abortion which is a medical procedure where they take out the cells that are called a fetus, before they turn into a baby. Then the woman isn't pregnant anymore and a baby isn't born. Some people think that's wrong, but I think they're wrong. Nobody should have a baby if they're not prepared to."

I guess that would work... Unless she saw the graphic images and saw that the "cells that are called a fetus" are identical to a human baby. The truth is that the reason why those graphic images are so disturbing is that they show what really happens, which is that a baby gets killed. And this is coming from someone who is on the fence about where I stand on the abortion debate. Those images make me think I'm against abortion, but when I think about abortion without those images I lean pro-choice. That's why I can say I'm still undecided.

Well, my daughter has been familiar with the concept of photo-shop since she was 3 or 4, so she understand that not every picture she sees is an accurate representation of how things truly are.

Anonymous wrote:We went past a Hope demonstration, with signs of fetuses photos, baby murdererers etc.
8yo and 5 yo in the car.
8yo asking what is this etc. I wasn't prepared so I managed to difuse him saying people were protesting, what about? I said it is a little long to explain, I will tell you when I pick you up.
I dropped him off at this activity, so there was really no time to get into this, plus I wasn't sure how to explain it to him, even more tricky with 5yo listening.

Anybody has ideas? This will come up again really soon.

It is important to poison their minds against those idiot protestors. Be sure to talk about how mean and nasty they are, how they are not good people, and how they try to control what others do with their lives -- that they hate women, and they try to scare children.

These are all true things.

Anonymous wrote:I just explained it to my DD in a straight forward way. "When a female gets pregnant she has three options: she can have what will turn into a baby and keep it, have what will turn into a baby and give it up for adoption or have an abortion which is a medical procedure where they take out the cells that are called a fetus, before they turn into a baby. Then the woman isn't pregnant anymore and a baby isn't born. Some people think that's wrong, but I think they're wrong. Nobody should have a baby if they're not prepared to."

Did your daughter want to know more information about what happens to the cells that are called a fetus? Because I could easily see a kid that's curious enough to ask about abortion being curious about what's the difference between the cells and the baby and then wanting to know where the cells go. And then probably wanting to know what the cells look like before they turn into a baby, and then wanting to know [/i]when[i] the cells go from being cells to turning into a baby etc. There would be a lot of questions I'd think...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just explained it to my DD in a straight forward way. "When a female gets pregnant she has three options: she can have what will turn into a baby and keep it, have what will turn into a baby and give it up for adoption or have an abortion which is a medical procedure where they take out the cells that are called a fetus, before they turn into a baby. Then the woman isn't pregnant anymore and a baby isn't born. Some people think that's wrong, but I think they're wrong. Nobody should have a baby if they're not prepared to."

I guess that would work... Unless she saw the graphic images and saw that the "cells that are called a fetus" are identical to a human baby. The truth is that the reason why those graphic images are so disturbing is that they show what really happens, which is that a baby gets killed. And this is coming from someone who is on the fence about where I stand on the abortion debate. Those images make me think I'm against abortion, but when I think about abortion without those images I lean pro-choice. That's why I can say I'm still undecided.

I forgot to say to op that I don't think I'd be able to explain abortion to an 8 year old. I have a 9 year old and it's never come up yet. I'd probably say something like let's look the word up in the dictionary and see what we can find out. Then I'd be very careful in how far I allowed the conversation to go after that.