Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 18:29     Subject: How rampant is cheating in the military?
Anonymous wrote:I don't see a cheating culture, but my dh is a pretty highly ranked officer. There are more consequences for an officer who cheats, as far as I can tell.


talk to General Petraeus about cheating
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 14:22     Subject: How rampant is cheating in the military?
I know more spouses who cheat while the military guy is on deployment than the other way around. Honestly, when they're deployed, they're usually deployed to a place where fraternization is actively discouraged. My military ex was deployed to war zones for most of his active duty career, so he rarely if ever dated.

that said, a friend ended up divorced because her army husband knocked up some hooker in Thailand and he divorced my friend to marry her. Charming.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 11:00     Subject: Re:How rampant is cheating in the military?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous



One of my friends married a guy who is joining the navy seals today. She doesn't seem concerned at all but I am thinking about the cheating culture in the military. Is it as bad as people say?

She should worry more about the constant deployments and training with the seals. Will not see him much....this is what breaks up marriages.


This. My DH is reserve now and he always says that there is a one deployment rule before marrying someone in the military. You have no idea what it can do to your relationship. We married after he separated (just the way it timed with us meeting) but I see his point. Lots of divorced people in the military who marry early before they deploy, find out that it doesn't work when they come back and then the divorce and marry again. The second and third times tend to stick more Since everyone is older by then.


Yep, my husband did the one deployment rule with me. I barely passed.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 10:49     Subject: Re:How rampant is cheating in the military?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Even the accusation or appearance of having affair can cost you your job and push you into retirement. If anything, I would guess the active duty person is less likely to cheat.


You guess wrong.


So then it depends on how career-minded they are.


Have you been in the world long? People aren't thinking straight when they cheat. They put their jobs, families, everything at risk.


Petraeus, anyone?


Who, as I rember didn't suffer any consequences for the affair itself, rather just the passage of confidential information. Had he just had sex with her, I doubt he would have had to resign.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 10:48     Subject: How rampant is cheating in the military?
The SEAL part is going to be harder than the cheating part. My EX was a seal (and a cheater but that was post service) and I didn't know one guy who was involved in a normal stable relationship. That training requires a unique mind set to begin with and it just gets worse. I guess that's what they need to get the job done but they are a messed up bunch.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 10:43     Subject: Re:How rampant is cheating in the military?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous



One of my friends married a guy who is joining the navy seals today. She doesn't seem concerned at all but I am thinking about the cheating culture in the military. Is it as bad as people say?

She should worry more about the constant deployments and training with the seals. Will not see him much....this is what breaks up marriages.


This. My DH is reserve now and he always says that there is a one deployment rule before marrying someone in the military. You have no idea what it can do to your relationship. We married after he separated (just the way it timed with us meeting) but I see his point. Lots of divorced people in the military who marry early before they deploy, find out that it doesn't work when they come back and then the divorce and marry again. The second and third times tend to stick more Since everyone is older by then.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 10:33     Subject: How rampant is cheating in the military?
Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately yes it's rampant. I grew up in a military household. My dad cheated all the time. Several military uncles cheated also, my aunt in the military also had a child by another married man in the military. It's rampant, the divorce rate in the military is higher than the civilian rate. I dated a Marine for two years and I'm pretty sure he cheated on me as well.


http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/01/military-divorce-rates-arent-as-high-as-you-might-think.html



Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 10:21     Subject: How rampant is cheating in the military?
Unfortunately yes it's rampant. I grew up in a military household. My dad cheated all the time. Several military uncles cheated also, my aunt in the military also had a child by another married man in the military. It's rampant, the divorce rate in the military is higher than the civilian rate. I dated a Marine for two years and I'm pretty sure he cheated on me as well.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 10:00     Subject: Re:How rampant is cheating in the military?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Even the accusation or appearance of having affair can cost you your job and push you into retirement. If anything, I would guess the active duty person is less likely to cheat.


You guess wrong.


So then it depends on how career-minded they are.


Have you been in the world long? People aren't thinking straight when they cheat. They put their jobs, families, everything at risk.


Petraeus, anyone?
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 09:58     Subject: Re:How rampant is cheating in the military?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Even the accusation or appearance of having affair can cost you your job and push you into retirement. If anything, I would guess the active duty person is less likely to cheat.


You guess wrong.


So then it depends on how career-minded they are.


Have you been in the world long? People aren't thinking straight when they cheat. They put their jobs, families, everything at risk.


Self-discipline is extremely important for success in any field. Military even more so plus the importance of "optic". Priorities. But agree with PP who says it's no more common than other fields. I saw just as much in big law though not usually with career- ending consequences.

OP, don't judge him by his job, judge his character. The military is as diverse as the nation as a whole. Don't buy into stereotypes.

Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 09:44     Subject: How rampant is cheating in the military?
Anonymous wrote:One of my friends married a guy who is joining the navy seals today. She doesn't seem concerned at all but I am thinking about the cheating culture in the military. Is it as bad as people say?


Your friend is definitely going to cheat on her husband.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 09:40     Subject: How rampant is cheating in the military?
Anonymous wrote:I don't see a cheating culture, but my dh is a pretty highly ranked officer. There are more consequences for an officer who cheats, as far as I can tell.


Bahahahaha. Only if they're flagrant about it, it affects the morale of the unit, or someone's cheating on their spouse with an enlisted person.

OP, in my opinion, as a military spouse only, it's pretty much like the civilian world, except those who wants to cheat have a lot more opportunities. And that goes for the spouses as well. But the people who are faithful to their spouse aren't going to let a deployment change that.




Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 09:37     Subject: Re:How rampant is cheating in the military?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Even the accusation or appearance of having affair can cost you your job and push you into retirement. If anything, I would guess the active duty person is less likely to cheat.


You guess wrong.


So then it depends on how career-minded they are.


Have you been in the world long? People aren't thinking straight when they cheat. They put their jobs, families, everything at risk.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 08:30     Subject: How rampant is cheating in the military?
Wings up, rings off.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 08:28     Subject: Re:How rampant is cheating in the military?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Even the accusation or appearance of having affair can cost you your job and push you into retirement. If anything, I would guess the active duty person is less likely to cheat.


You guess wrong.


So then it depends on how career-minded they are.