Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 06:19     Subject: 19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:
Sure, but it's also possible to have love, marriage, babies without getting married at 22 to the 28-year-old you started dating at 19.


All other things being equal, it is better to meet your future spouse - and get started on a family - sooner rather than later.

Don't understand the marriage and baby hate here. It's weird.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2015 04:07     Subject: 19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:DD is 19 and has been dating/sleeping with a 25 year old guy for about a month now. They met online but became very close, very fast. They now spend all their free time together. She's in her first year of college but lives at home. He's a nice guy, has a job, etc but I'm wondering what he see's in a 19 year old? Men are attracted to youth, I know, but she's in such a different life stage than he is. I'm trying to think back to when I was that age. Is it okay/normal?


I was 19 when I started dating my 25-year-old husband, and we've been married for 27 years now with four kids. I don't see a problem. I think a 6-year age difference is no big deal.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2015 20:58     Subject: 19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
OP, if you're worried, why not invite him over for dinner? It sounds old fashioned but it'll give you a chance to get to know him. OTOH, if he refuses the idea outright, you'll get a hint that something's not quite right here. A good guy would be open to the idea.

Don't make yourselves adversaries. That's the worst possible outcome of all this because at 19 she has to be able to deal with her own choices.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2015 20:51     Subject: 19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
I don't think the age difference in and of itself is that big of a deal. However, I think there is a disparity in life experience between them - she lives at home, he's an independent adult. If things get serious, I would worry that she could go straight from living with mom and dad to living with a man, but then again that could happen no matter what her age.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2015 20:21     Subject: 19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He is only a few years out of college. He probably does not view himself as being in a "totally different stage of life".

In any event, she is an adult now, so you need to let go of the helicopter mom thoughts.

If you push too hard about it, she'll just move in with him.


Not sure where you got in my OP that I was 'pushing' at all, or being a helicopter. Because it's pretty much the opposite. I'm thinking if anything I'm too lax.


Too lax? She is an adult now. I don't think you can forbid her from dating him. She'll likely move to a dorm. If you did a good job raising her, she'll be responsible, so there shouldn't be anything to worry about.

I don't think the age difference is a big deal, and it's only been a month. It might be over again in a few months. I always dated older guys. Only stopped when I neared my 30s.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2015 19:52     Subject: 19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
I'm 40 now. When I was 19-20 most of the men I dated were 25-27. I was in college, but lived in an apartment off campus in a neighborhood that was filled people that age (just out of college.)
I met my husband when I was 21, he was 27. We were engaged at 22/28, and married at 23/28.

I don't see anything wrong with a 19 year old woman dating a 25 year old man.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2015 16:16     Subject: 19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He's not a stable grown up if he's dating a 19 year old. A 19 year old freshman girl shouldn't be looking for a long-term relationship with a 25 year old unless she plans to get knocked up and married so she can finally get out of her parents' house.


All your assumptions are ignorant and false.

There is nothing wrong with 25 dating 19. For either party involved. Period.

If they date while she's in college and get married after she graduates, that would be a huge win for all concerned. I hope that happens!


Why?


Love, marriage, babies! They're awesome!


Sure, but it's also possible to have love, marriage, babies without getting married at 22 to the 28-year-old you started dating at 19.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2015 16:15     Subject: Re:19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:OP, when I think back to my years in college, I had 2 close friends who dated older men. Of course I was like, OMG, you're dating an old man, gross, why, blah blah. But, the reality is that it was harmless. Maybe the boy likes being with a younger woman, but my female college friends also liked being the young, beautiful girl to this older guy, so it goes both ways. Neither friend ended up marrying the older guys, and both friends were the dumpers rather than the dumpees, and later in life, one girl did end up marrying a man 10 years her senior, so clearly always had a thing for older men. Seriously, no harm done, let your daughter be! She'll be fine.


"Older"? Geez, the guy is 25 not 45.

If you put a bunch of 25 year old and 19 year old guys in a line together, I doubt I'd be able to tell them apart.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2015 16:12     Subject: 19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He's not a stable grown up if he's dating a 19 year old. A 19 year old freshman girl shouldn't be looking for a long-term relationship with a 25 year old unless she plans to get knocked up and married so she can finally get out of her parents' house.


All your assumptions are ignorant and false.

There is nothing wrong with 25 dating 19. For either party involved. Period.

If they date while she's in college and get married after she graduates, that would be a huge win for all concerned. I hope that happens!


Why?


Love, marriage, babies! They're awesome!
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2015 16:10     Subject: Re:19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
OP, when I think back to my years in college, I had 2 close friends who dated older men. Of course I was like, OMG, you're dating an old man, gross, why, blah blah. But, the reality is that it was harmless. Maybe the boy likes being with a younger woman, but my female college friends also liked being the young, beautiful girl to this older guy, so it goes both ways. Neither friend ended up marrying the older guys, and both friends were the dumpers rather than the dumpees, and later in life, one girl did end up marrying a man 10 years her senior, so clearly always had a thing for older men. Seriously, no harm done, let your daughter be! She'll be fine.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2015 15:46     Subject: 19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He's not a stable grown up if he's dating a 19 year old. A 19 year old freshman girl shouldn't be looking for a long-term relationship with a 25 year old unless she plans to get knocked up and married so she can finally get out of her parents' house.


All your assumptions are ignorant and false.

There is nothing wrong with 25 dating 19. For either party involved. Period.

If they date while she's in college and get married after she graduates, that would be a huge win for all concerned. I hope that happens!


Why?


It's the 19 year old weighing in.

Yep. Sounds like a 19 year thought process.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2015 15:38     Subject: 19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He's not a stable grown up if he's dating a 19 year old. A 19 year old freshman girl shouldn't be looking for a long-term relationship with a 25 year old unless she plans to get knocked up and married so she can finally get out of her parents' house.


All your assumptions are ignorant and false.

There is nothing wrong with 25 dating 19. For either party involved. Period.

If they date while she's in college and get married after she graduates, that would be a huge win for all concerned. I hope that happens!


Why?


It's the 19 year old weighing in.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2015 15:36     Subject: 19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He's not a stable grown up if he's dating a 19 year old. A 19 year old freshman girl shouldn't be looking for a long-term relationship with a 25 year old unless she plans to get knocked up and married so she can finally get out of her parents' house.


All your assumptions are ignorant and false.

There is nothing wrong with 25 dating 19. For either party involved. Period.

If they date while she's in college and get married after she graduates, that would be a huge win for all concerned. I hope that happens!


Why?
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2015 15:31     Subject: 19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:He's not a stable grown up if he's dating a 19 year old. A 19 year old freshman girl shouldn't be looking for a long-term relationship with a 25 year old unless she plans to get knocked up and married so she can finally get out of her parents' house.


All your assumptions are ignorant and false.

There is nothing wrong with 25 dating 19. For either party involved. Period.

If they date while she's in college and get married after she graduates, that would be a huge win for all concerned. I hope that happens!
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2015 15:23     Subject: 19 year old girl dating 25 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why isn't she in a dorm? More access to peers her own age there.


Costs a lot more money to live in the dorm.


Cheaper isn't always better.


Rehab can run several years of dorm fees.