Anonymous wrote:We toured Harbor last school year and it looked like an absolutely wonderful place. We checked in with a lot of parents and they all gave rave reviews about the individual attention the kids get.

It's true that Harbor doesn't have any special curriculum or services for kids with ADHD, ASD, LDs etc. like at places like Lab, Auburn or Commonwealth.

However, they have teachers who take the time to learn about children's individual needs and implement plans that parents provide.

Many of the parents who send their SN kids to Harbor have private therapists anyway and from what we've heard the school has been very accommodating in putting any supports they recommend into the school day.

That's the biggest advantage over public school. In public school you have to fight to get them to do little things like let your kid fidget during circle time. They act like it's a lot of trouble for them. At Harbor they work with you to figure out a way to make this happen so that the child thrives. In the end it means happier kids who love to go to school.

They don't have a lot of kids who are SN but the ones that they do have are usually able to go to mainstream privates or public school classrooms after they graduate which says a lot to me.

You can't generalize like that. For K at our public charter, my DS with SNs was in an inclusive mainstream classroom with 3 teachers, 1 head, 1 assistant and 1 bilingual Sp Ed, with 17 kids. Got all his accommodations, including fidgets, preferential seating, etc, and OT, PT, Speech therapy and social skills classes all for free with an IEP. Sincerely doubt any mainstream private school can/will provide anything near that.

OP, Since your child is young I'd recommend being as aggressive as possible so that he learns to think of school as a fun and safe place for learning.

If I were you, Maddux would be my first choice.

Public schools are terrible at dealing with meltdowns and end up shaming the kid and making him feel worse about himself and school. Maddux is known for dealing with meltdowns in a calm, non-judgmental, no fuss way. Kids can and do have meltdowns there but once it's over the teachers act like nothing happened and it's business as usual which is nice for the child.

We toured Harbor last school year and it looked like an absolutely wonderful place. We checked in with a lot of parents and they all gave rave reviews about the individual attention the kids get.

It's true that Harbor doesn't have any special curriculum or services for kids with ADHD, ASD, LDs etc. like at places like Lab, Auburn or Commonwealth.

However, they have teachers who take the time to learn about children's individual needs and implement plans that parents provide.

Many of the parents who send their SN kids to Harbor have private therapists anyway and from what we've heard the school has been very accommodating in putting any supports they recommend into the school day.

That's the biggest advantage over public school. In public school you have to fight to get them to do little things like let your kid fidget during circle time. They act like it's a lot of trouble for them. At Harbor they work with you to figure out a way to make this happen so that the child thrives. In the end it means happier kids who love to go to school.

They don't have a lot of kids who are SN but the ones that they do have are usually able to go to mainstream privates or public school classrooms after they graduate which says a lot to me.

Anonymous wrote:To answer your question, two schools to tour would be maddux and harbor. Maddux offers support in speech and ot as part of their program, has small classes and is very structured. Harbor does not offer any support, but has small class sizes, uses many best teaching practices many parents would want to see in any classroom and is very nurturing.

Seeing the difference may help you clarify your vision for what your child needs. And then if you really like either or both, you need to decide if you can make the commute work for your family.

As a former Harbor parent, I don't recommend them at all. Yes, Harbor will take some kids with SNs (from everything to ADHD, Aspergers/ASD, to mild LDs) to keep up their class size, but they don't really have clue one about how to teach them even in small classes. I'm still in touch with others parents who feel really let down by the school. It's not nurturing either. The teachers turn a blind eye to bullying unfortunately. There's a new head, but these patterns seem entrenched from talking with parents who are still there and whose kids aren't SN.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To answer your question, two schools to tour would be maddux and harbor. Maddux offers support in speech and ot as part of their program, has small classes and is very structured. Harbor does not offer any support, but has small class sizes, uses many best teaching practices many parents would want to see in any classroom and is very nurturing.

Seeing the difference may help you clarify your vision for what your child needs. And then if you really like either or both, you need to decide if you can make the commute work for your family.

And McLean is somewhere in between Maddux and Harbor in terms of the support it offers.

But a developmental pediatrician and/or psychologist can look holistically at your child and say "in my experience, children like your child have generally done well at X school but have not done well at Y school." You are right, of course, that you don't know whether a school will work for your particular kid until you try it, but as unique as he is, there are kids who are somewhat like him out there, and a good professional can give you guidance based on that.

I wouldn't get your hopes up about this. We have seen several developmental peds, psychologists and psychiatrists and all of them were clueless about schools.

Ours was a little too over involved with his school recommendations... Nevertheless, OP needs to get her child evaluated. Sounds like he needs an IEP if in public or needs a SN school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes sense to try and make public work for you before you shell out for private school.

The danger with starting with public with a kid with anxiety is that it can be overwhelming and anxiety-producing in a way that no IEP can fix. Lots of kids is lots of kids. If you can afford it, I'd start with some place small that will give lots of attention to social/emotional issues, not just academic issues. Whether it needs to be SN or mainstream depends a lot on his specific triggers and how bad the anxiety is.

what PP pointed out is exactly what happened when we tried the public charter. it was too focused on academics in prek3, was too chaotic, and was ultimately an absolute disaster for my DS. this is why we are considering my DD's small private with most focus on social/emotional issues up to grade 2. Small ratio of students to teachers. It likely will work for my DS, but want to think about other schools as well. the only concern about my DD's school is that they have a small range of "different" learning styles that they can handle and beyond that, they just can't. hence my worry. probably fine for K and 1st, but not sure after that...

Was the "therapeutic" public charter you tried Bridges? If Bridges did not work out then you really are in denial.

Are you sure your DD's private will take him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To answer your question, two schools to tour would be maddux and harbor. Maddux offers support in speech and ot as part of their program, has small classes and is very structured. Harbor does not offer any support, but has small class sizes, uses many best teaching practices many parents would want to see in any classroom and is very nurturing.

Seeing the difference may help you clarify your vision for what your child needs. And then if you really like either or both, you need to decide if you can make the commute work for your family.

And McLean is somewhere in between Maddux and Harbor in terms of the support it offers.

But a developmental pediatrician and/or psychologist can look holistically at your child and say "in my experience, children like your child have generally done well at X school but have not done well at Y school." You are right, of course, that you don't know whether a school will work for your particular kid until you try it, but as unique as he is, there are kids who are somewhat like him out there, and a good professional can give you guidance based on that.

I wouldn't get your hopes up about this. We have seen several developmental peds, psychologists and psychiatrists and all of them were clueless about schools.

Also, when my child was in pre-k, we saw Dr. Paula Elitov, who is a psychologist. Her evaluation was not as thorough as the neuro-psych we got several years later (nor was it as expensive), but it included a school observation and was priceless in terms of getting us on a path that was helpful. She's in Rockville, off Montrose.

Anonymous wrote:To answer your question, two schools to tour would be maddux and harbor. Maddux offers support in speech and ot as part of their program, has small classes and is very structured. Harbor does not offer any support, but has small class sizes, uses many best teaching practices many parents would want to see in any classroom and is very nurturing.

Seeing the difference may help you clarify your vision for what your child needs. And then if you really like either or both, you need to decide if you can make the commute work for your family.

And McLean is somewhere in between Maddux and Harbor in terms of the support it offers.

But a developmental pediatrician and/or psychologist can look holistically at your child and say "in my experience, children like your child have generally done well at X school but have not done well at Y school." You are right, of course, that you don't know whether a school will work for your particular kid until you try it, but as unique as he is, there are kids who are somewhat like him out there, and a good professional can give you guidance based on that.

Anonymous wrote:This group has been mentioned from time to time. (we were with another, but this one had come highly recommended from DH's co-worker).

http://www.weinfeldeducationgroup.com/

It's just our experience but we would not recommend them. A huge waste of money. The only good thing I'll say about them is that it really got us advocating better on our own. In terms of deciding what school, have whatever testing you need done and google/visit the various schools.

To answer your question, two schools to tour would be maddux and harbor. Maddux offers support in speech and ot as part of their program, has small classes and is very structured. Harbor does not offer any support, but has small class sizes, uses many best teaching practices many parents would want to see in any classroom and is very nurturing.

Seeing the difference may help you clarify your vision for what your child needs. And then if you really like either or both, you need to decide if you can make the commute work for your family.

My child was fine in pre-k, but the intensity and expectations ratchet up quickly in K. Sad but true. You may not have issues today in the bubble that he is in, but you may find that K is a whole new ballgame. I think it's good that you are looking now at what K will bring. But I found that The school setting is more of a challenge for my child than the academics.

I also think you should see a dev ped. The constellation of issues you have described warrants a professional who can look at the whole child: not just OT issues... The entire picture. You may not get a diagnosis but a dev ped knows all the issues that need to be monitored.

Please listen to 18:09.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. for the PPs who say i am in denial and i know in my gut what is wrong...back off!! i have an older daughter who has zero issues and i have a son who has issues. i am not blind nor am i in denial. i have advocated for my son and gotten him the help he needs. it is working.

not every child needs to see a developmental ped.

not every child has a diagnosis.

not every family is going through what you went through.

my kid is happy at school NOW. the school he is at works for him. we want to replicate that environment because he is graduating. he is only 4 and he is functioning well and i want to keep up the support he needs. i don't "know" anything in my gut about him, i am not in denial that he has some challenges. but not all challenges equal something greater. when the time comes, IF we all think he needs it, he will get a work up.

How do you know whether your child has a diagnosis or not if you have never taken him to a developmental pediatrician? If he is getting OT and has meltdowns due to changes in routine, you need to get him evaluated.

He will not be accepted at any mainstream private schools will those sort of behaviors. Doubtful he will "pass" the play observation. The SN schools will want to see an evaluation by a developmental ped.

He is not too young at 4 for a psychoeducational eval but it will evaluate for ASD as well as IQ. You will need at least that if you want to find an appropriate school for him.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. for the PPs who say i am in denial and i know in my gut what is wrong...back off!! i have an older daughter who has zero issues and i have a son who has issues. i am not blind nor am i in denial. i have advocated for my son and gotten him the help he needs. it is working.

not every child needs to see a developmental ped.

not every child has a diagnosis.

not every family is going through what you went through.

my kid is happy at school NOW. the school he is at works for him. we want to replicate that environment because he is graduating. he is only 4 and he is functioning well and i want to keep up the support he needs. i don't "know" anything in my gut about him, i am not in denial that he has some challenges. but not all challenges equal something greater. when the time comes, IF we all think he needs it, he will get a work up.

OP, if you sought out EI and an OT and are wondering in the SN forum where to send your kid to school, then YES you are in denial that your kid doesn't need to see a developmental pediatrician. They are not infallible, but your are probably trying to avoid getting a diagnosis that actually finding a one.

Not every family goes through what you're going through that's true, we get our kids in to see a developmental pediatrician early, so we knew what support they needed.