Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Me too. But I can't get mine back. He is married with kids. I too wonder if maybe we will reconnect in the future but that seems terrible to think about since it means the mother of his kids would have to die.

Why don't you want yours back?

Life choices, mainly a career that would support a family life. He's smart, but interested in so many things that he still doesn't have a career. He chose to be free rather than stick to a career path. He regrets it now, but now is too late.

Did you live with him? If so, did he come up with his end of the rent? Could he hold a job? Could you trust him?

If not, you dodged a bullet. You need someone who will work with you, not someone you have to carry every step of the way. Are you sure that you love the guy that you are getting married to? Because it seems sad that you are about to get married to the guy that you love and, yet, you are pining away for this ex.

It seems that there might be a deeper problem here?

Anonymous wrote:I was also still in love with my ex while dating Dh. I thought about him constantly and even stallked his facebook page. I found out his girlfriend left him because he talked about me to much and I remember feeling giddy over that for weeks and thought about going back to him. But Dh was such a good guy I couldn't bear to break his heart for someone who I knew had issues committing. Overtime that love has completely gone away. I rarely think of that ex. He did call me once out of blue two years ago but I just ignored the call. Marrying Dh is one of the best choices I ever made so I don't regret moving on at all.

Oh and I agree with prior posts too on reminding yourself of why you left. One thing I would do is when I felt myself getting pulled back is read an email my ex sent me one night where he cursed me out horribly and said so many bad things to me. That reminded me everytime of why I needed to stay away from him.

I was also still in love with my ex while dating Dh. I thought about him constantly and even stallked his facebook page. I found out his girlfriend left him because he talked about me to much and I remember feeling giddy over that for weeks and thought about going back to him. But Dh was such a good guy I couldn't bear to break his heart for someone who I knew had issues committing. Overtime that love has completely gone away. I rarely think of that ex. He did call me once out of blue two years ago but I just ignored the call. Marrying Dh is one of the best choices I ever made so I don't regret moving on at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still feel like this about an ex after 15+ years. Hasn't dissipated one bit.

Go back to him if he was the love of your life.

Not OP but this is exactly what I'm afraid of.

Yes I agree this is a danger, especially because the reason OP gave for breaking up was not truly insurmountable.

Well, she was the one who got dumped. The thing is: it's now a fantasy, not the committment-fearful real human being.

I have a woman in my past who I still think of all.the.time even though I'm quite happily married and quite in love with my DW. There are plenty of women in my past who I was with much longer than the one "who got away", and I almost never think of them. But, when I stop and think about why I am fixated on "the one who got away", I realize it's mostly because of the big ego wound I got out of being dumped. I remember what actually trying to be in a relationship with her was like, and I am just gobsmacked at home much better my marriage is.

Don't go back OP and please do not imagine they are the "love of your life". Try to remind yourself of the shitty parts too - the part where he utter flaked on you. Seriously. We all practice sentimental hygiene and forget the bad parts of our past, recalling only the good stuff. That's part of why the person is a fantasy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have been separated for over four years. I am with someone I love and plan to marry. My ex wants different things out of life than I and I don't want to be back in that relationship, but.... I seriously miss him so much and so often think of him. I still cry over him. I am in my 30's, and he is one of 4 significant and long term relationships, but I feel that he was the love of my life. I sometimes day dream of the day that we are both widows and reunited. Is that completely F'ed up!?! Again, I don't want him back, which I could have if I wanted, but I cannot get over him. Can. Not. Will this change with more time? We've been separated longer than we've been together.and I have been with my current boyfriend as long as I was with my ex. We are talking about engagement and our future, which I do want with him. But I can not shake my ex.

How many more relationships are you going to screw up before you grow up and cut the crap?

Please get your head out of your ass and try to make your current relationship the best it can be.

Your prior relationship(s) not just with this ex but probably all the prior ones in large part failed because you're childish and immature.

Grow up.

Amen.

Halle-fiucking-lujah!!!!

seriously,just let your fiance go so he can be loved by someone who deserves him and isn't acting like a sorry-sack little twit

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still feel like this about an ex after 15+ years. Hasn't dissipated one bit.

Go back to him if he was the love of your life.

Not OP but this is exactly what I'm afraid of.

Yes I agree this is a danger, especially because the reason OP gave for breaking up was not truly insurmountable.

Anonymous wrote:I still feel like this about an ex after 15+ years. Hasn't dissipated one bit.

Go back to him if he was the love of your life.

Not OP but this is exactly what I'm afraid of.