Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is so afraid of Syrian refugees and thinks ISIS has infiltrated them and so they should not be allowed in the country.

She also hates her Mexican neighbors.

She goes on rants about this stuff at dinner and we all just quietly eat our food. It is awkward because I am a middle eastern immigrant.

I expect to get flamed here, but what you have written above does not really indicate racism.

There are millions of Americans who fear that ISIS may be among those coming to the country. That view alone is not racist. It is a reality.
And, she hates her Mexican neighbors. Maybe they are not nice people. Does she hate them just because they are Mexican, or have they done something to cause her not to like them.

Unless she has made truly racist remarks, I would not call this racist behavior.

ITA

2 more racists here, who "agree". OP you shouldn't have married into this family. You deserve better.

PP, I'm curious about your thoughts on ISIS stating they will use the refugees to infiltrate western countries.

My MIL does this. I shut her down immediately if the kids are around (which they almost always are). She was going on and on once about 'the homosexual agenda'. I have no idea what that even is. Are they desperate to convert her? She sucks so I can't imagine either sex wanting to date her. Does she mean the agenda to stop being harassed? Crazy to want that to stop.

After a couple incidents where I flipped out I think she's scared enough of my reaction to save it until after bedtime. Then I can just walk away or pull out plants vs zombies and ignore her.

I just told her that my children need to go to school and have friends and a normal life and they can't do that if they're repeating her hateful comments.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is so afraid of Syrian refugees and thinks ISIS has infiltrated them and so they should not be allowed in the country.

She also hates her Mexican neighbors.

She goes on rants about this stuff at dinner and we all just quietly eat our food. It is awkward because I am a middle eastern immigrant.

I expect to get flamed here, but what you have written above does not really indicate racism.

There are millions of Americans who fear that ISIS may be among those coming to the country. That view alone is not racist. It is a reality.
And, she hates her Mexican neighbors. Maybe they are not nice people. Does she hate them just because they are Mexican, or have they done something to cause her not to like them.

Unless she has made truly racist remarks, I would not call this racist behavior.

ITA

2 more racists here, who "agree". OP you shouldn't have married into this family. You deserve better.

What's your question?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is so afraid of Syrian refugees and thinks ISIS has infiltrated them and so they should not be allowed in the country.

She also hates her Mexican neighbors.

She goes on rants about this stuff at dinner and we all just quietly eat our food. It is awkward because I am a middle eastern immigrant.

I expect to get flamed here, but what you have written above does not really indicate racism.

There are millions of Americans who fear that ISIS may be among those coming to the country. That view alone is not racist. It is a reality.
And, she hates her Mexican neighbors. Maybe they are not nice people. Does she hate them just because they are Mexican, or have they done something to cause her not to like them.

Unless she has made truly racist remarks, I would not call this racist behavior.

This was my my first thought. My second thought was that op is very young.

+1

My FIL is an alcoholic, racist against Blacks, thinks Islam is inherently a terrorist belief system, and has literally told me in all seriousness that "yoga is devil-worship." I shit you not. This man believed what he was saying.

During my first visit with him, I tried to engage like I would with any sensible person who just hasn't thought carefully through a sweeping generalization. That wasn't fruitful because he has a personality disorder and he's an alcoholic. So, I've since learned to get up & walk away. I'm polite enough about it, but I don't sugar coat why I'm leaving. He responds differently from me knowing that I won't stick around & listen to his nonsense. What these people want is an audience - some one to lecture. Don't give them that. Instead, only engage with what is good - and yes, I'm sure your MIL has a good side. Be there and loving when she shares that good side with you. Excuse yourself when she shows her hateful side.

Heck , half the bureaucrats in the DC government come across as racists.

Anonymous wrote:She is so afraid of Syrian refugees and thinks ISIS has infiltrated them and so they should not be allowed in the country.

She also hates her Mexican neighbors.

She goes on rants about this stuff at dinner and we all just quietly eat our food. It is awkward because I am a middle eastern immigrant.

That's not an unfounded concern about the "Syrians." Intelligence and law enforcement authorities in the US and Europe are very concerned that ISIS and other terrorist groups who hate our Western values could slip in trained sleeper agents who are pretending to be refugees.

they're not racism haters, they're in-law haters. If it wasn't this, it would be some other excuse to hate on the in-laws.

12:41, 12:45, 12:46
You're on a roll! You tell those racism haters!

As I read this thread, I thank my lucky stars that my adult children are grounded and have a good head on their shoulders.
They have learned to get along with people from all backgrounds.
They know that people have different experiences. They don’t call other people names.
They also do not stereotype groups of people based on their AGE, their gender, or their race or religion.

I am so glad that the people who have posted here are not my daughters-in-law.

Anonymous wrote:If it is in your house, you get to lay down the rules. Your husband should be the one to deliver the rules, since it is his mother, but you need to establish the boundary sooner than later. A simple "We find those comments offensive and we don't want to talk about this subject anymore" should suffice.

My elderly parents live with us in a basement apartment, and my father is a crazy tea party follower who has Fox News on 24-7. He knows that he is NOT allowed to turn that channel on upstairs in our family room around our children. If he does, we will block that channel so no one can access it. He respects our wishes.

OMG he watches the wrong channel on TV!!!

Must stamp that out immediately.

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are racist too. They're Asian immigrants. They are so nice and friendly to everyone's faces. I'm not Asian, but they see me as a kind of family dog, so in front of me they talk pretty freely, badmouthing whites, blacks, hispanics et al. With special negative traits assigned, according to our particular nationalities/religions/ethnicities, in total we are all seen as dirty, smelly, diseased animals.

So what.

Who cares about these kind of idiosyncratic opinions that your Asian inlaws express behind closed doors. (I'll bet they're Korean right?)

I'll bet you have a huge carbon footprint, should I hate on you for that?

Anonymous wrote:She is so afraid of Syrian refugees and thinks ISIS has infiltrated them and so they should not be allowed in the country.

She also hates her Mexican neighbors.

She goes on rants about this stuff at dinner and we all just quietly eat our food. It is awkward because I am a middle eastern immigrant.

You sound like a trouble maker.

Tell us about your flaws. I'll bet you have a volkswagen cheater diesel.