Anonymous
09/17/2015 09:23
Subject: Re:Saw friend's husband out with another woman
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.
What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.
"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"
Then I let them deal with it.
Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.
If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.
Nice shit stirring.
If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.
Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.
Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.
Really... I say to friends all the time... hey I saw Joe and the boys at the Nats game, what a beautiful night (and now you are staring me down wondering why I stalk your family... you are psycho!)... why is it weird for me to say... I saw Joe at Szechuan Palace, love that place... that is nosy? No its just a statement of fact.
Do you have friends? You never say... hey saw you at Wolf Trap, did you have fun... we were in a hurry and could not stop to chat.
You are crazy if you don't have these normal conversations with your friends. I am not outing anybody I am just making conversation.
If you are guilty of something own it ... stop blaming others.
You are 100% backtracking and you know it. Your original comment was "If I see George out with someone, I later tell George's wife in front of George and let them deal with it." You are not idly chatting with someone about how they enjoyed the show at Wolf Trap. Talk about owning it... I don't have anything to hide, from my husband or anyone. YOU need to own the fact you admitted you enjoy delivering potentially upsetting information to women, in front of their spouse, so you can have the pleasure of being Hall Monitor for other people's behavior and marriages.
NP. You're so right - best to let women be bamboozled while their husband fucks around.
I believe most women are capable of finding out themselves. Maybe this is a personality trait where I don't enjoy others seeing me in weakness/pain/suffering, but if I get the feeling my husband is cheating, I am perfectly capable of getting to the bottom of it myself. No I do not want some fellow preschool parent taking it upon themselves to tell me. Handling my own shit is more important to me than the fact some busy-body pities me because she thinks she saw my husband having an affair.
It's very difficult to get to the bottom of something you're not supposed to know.
Agree to disagree. Most people aren't James Bond operating covertly and expertly. I have full trust in my husband and don't feel the need to monitor his activity or verify what he tells me. But if my intuition were going off and I felt something was off, I could easily check bank and credit card statements for weird charges, log in to our cell phone account and see who he is calling and texting, how often and when, etc. Now if you've put yourself in the position where you don't HAVE access to vital information like that, that's on you, but for most people, it would be shockingly easy to catch an affair if you thought it was happening and knew what to look for.
Anonymous
09/17/2015 09:22
Subject: Re:Saw friend's husband out with another woman
Anonymous wrote:As a cheated on wife, I wish one of the many people who knew without question about the affair had been willing to tell me. Sucks to be the last to know. However, in this case, you don't have enough information to make any assumptions. I think it would be fine to say to the wife when you run into her-"it was good to see x at y restaurant, I'd just been thinking that I hadn't see you guys all summer!" And then drop it, and definitely don't gossip.
OP here. I feel really bad for my boss's wife. Her husband has affairs pretty obviously and people talk about it. When she comes to work functions, everyone whispers behind her back. I actually just don't comment. I would hate to get fired for gossiping about the boss's extramarital affairs.
Anonymous
09/17/2015 09:14
Subject: Saw friend's husband out with another woman
Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with mentioning that you saw someone's spouse (or child, or mom, or whatever) while out. There is something very wrong with doing so if your purpose is to poke holes in their relationship in whatever way.
OP here. I just saw the son a few minutes ago at drop off. He came up to hug me and went off to play with my child. I really love and care for this child. I hope for the child's sake that it was nothing. I have no intention of saying anything to the wife. Unless it is a family member of my best friend, I will not say anything.
My boss has been cheating on his wife for years. It is none of my business. DH's colleague had a love child with his assistant. We are almost 40 and obviously know this happens.
Anonymous
09/17/2015 08:53
Subject: Re:Saw friend's husband out with another woman
As a cheated on wife, I wish one of the many people who knew without question about the affair had been willing to tell me. Sucks to be the last to know. However, in this case, you don't have enough information to make any assumptions. I think it would be fine to say to the wife when you run into her-"it was good to see x at y restaurant, I'd just been thinking that I hadn't see you guys all summer!" And then drop it, and definitely don't gossip.
Anonymous
09/17/2015 08:48
Subject: Saw friend's husband out with another woman
There is nothing wrong with mentioning that you saw someone's spouse (or child, or mom, or whatever) while out. There is something very wrong with doing so if your purpose is to poke holes in their relationship in whatever way.
Anonymous
09/17/2015 08:46
Subject: Re:Saw friend's husband out with another woman
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.
What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.
"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"
Then I let them deal with it.
Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.
If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.
Nice shit stirring.
If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.
Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.
Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.
Really... I say to friends all the time... hey I saw Joe and the boys at the Nats game, what a beautiful night (and now you are staring me down wondering why I stalk your family... you are psycho!)... why is it weird for me to say... I saw Joe at Szechuan Palace, love that place... that is nosy? No its just a statement of fact.
Do you have friends? You never say... hey saw you at Wolf Trap, did you have fun... we were in a hurry and could not stop to chat.
You are crazy if you don't have these normal conversations with your friends. I am not outing anybody I am just making conversation.
If you are guilty of something own it ... stop blaming others.
You are 100% backtracking and you know it. Your original comment was "If I see George out with someone, I later tell George's wife in front of George and let them deal with it." You are not idly chatting with someone about how they enjoyed the show at Wolf Trap. Talk about owning it... I don't have anything to hide, from my husband or anyone. YOU need to own the fact you admitted you enjoy delivering potentially upsetting information to women, in front of their spouse, so you can have the pleasure of being Hall Monitor for other people's behavior and marriages.
No, no backtracking. I said and I quote from my original post Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?[i]
BFD... I say that all the time... to friends, he saw you at Nats game, saw you at Wolf Trap, saw your son at the 1/2 time of the Caps game.
I don't seek them out, but when I see them, I will say something. I would NEVER assume if I saw somebody somewhere they were cheating... don't you people have friend/colleagues of the opposite sex.
People with nothing to hide don't care what you say in public. It's more weird to assume you friends is cheating and hide it.. that is bizarre.
Anonymous
09/17/2015 08:45
Subject: Re:Saw friend's husband out with another woman
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.
What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.
"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"
Then I let them deal with it.
Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.
If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.
Nice shit stirring.
If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.
Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.
Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.
Really... I say to friends all the time... hey I saw Joe and the boys at the Nats game, what a beautiful night (and now you are staring me down wondering why I stalk your family... you are psycho!)... why is it weird for me to say... I saw Joe at Szechuan Palace, love that place... that is nosy? No its just a statement of fact.
Do you have friends? You never say... hey saw you at Wolf Trap, did you have fun... we were in a hurry and could not stop to chat.
You are crazy if you don't have these normal conversations with your friends. I am not outing anybody I am just making conversation.
If you are guilty of something own it ... stop blaming others.
You are 100% backtracking and you know it. Your original comment was "If I see George out with someone, I later tell George's wife in front of George and let them deal with it." You are not idly chatting with someone about how they enjoyed the show at Wolf Trap. Talk about owning it... I don't have anything to hide, from my husband or anyone. YOU need to own the fact you admitted you enjoy delivering potentially upsetting information to women, in front of their spouse, so you can have the pleasure of being Hall Monitor for other people's behavior and marriages. [/quote
No, no backtracking. I said and I quote from my original post Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?[i]
BFD... I say that all the time... to friends, he saw you at Nats game, saw you at Wolf Trap, saw your son at the 1/2 time of the Caps game.
I don't seek them out, but when I see them, I will say something. I would NEVER assume if I saw somebody somewhere they were cheating... don't you people have friend/colleagues of the opposite sex.
People with nothing to hide don't care what you say in public. It's more weird to assume you friends is cheating and hide it.. that is bizarre.
Anonymous
09/17/2015 08:34
Subject: Re:Saw friend's husband out with another woman
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.
What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.
"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"
Then I let them deal with it.
Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.
If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.
Nice shit stirring.
If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.
Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.
Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.
Really... I say to friends all the time... hey I saw Joe and the boys at the Nats game, what a beautiful night (and now you are staring me down wondering why I stalk your family... you are psycho!)... why is it weird for me to say... I saw Joe at Szechuan Palace, love that place... that is nosy? No its just a statement of fact.
Do you have friends? You never say... hey saw you at Wolf Trap, did you have fun... we were in a hurry and could not stop to chat.
You are crazy if you don't have these normal conversations with your friends. I am not outing anybody I am just making conversation.
If you are guilty of something own it ... stop blaming others.
You are 100% backtracking and you know it. Your original comment was "If I see George out with someone, I later tell George's wife in front of George and let them deal with it." You are not idly chatting with someone about how they enjoyed the show at Wolf Trap. Talk about owning it... I don't have anything to hide, from my husband or anyone. YOU need to own the fact you admitted you enjoy delivering potentially upsetting information to women, in front of their spouse, so you can have the pleasure of being Hall Monitor for other people's behavior and marriages.
NP. You're so right - best to let women be bamboozled while their husband fucks around.
I believe most women are capable of finding out themselves. Maybe this is a personality trait where I don't enjoy others seeing me in weakness/pain/suffering, but if I get the feeling my husband is cheating, I am perfectly capable of getting to the bottom of it myself. No I do not want some fellow preschool parent taking it upon themselves to tell me. Handling my own shit is more important to me than the fact some busy-body pities me because she thinks she saw my husband having an affair.
It's very difficult to get to the bottom of something you're not supposed to know.
Anonymous
09/17/2015 08:31
Subject: Re:Saw friend's husband out with another woman
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.
What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.
"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"
Then I let them deal with it.
Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.
If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.
Nice shit stirring.
If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.
Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.
Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.
Really... I say to friends all the time... hey I saw Joe and the boys at the Nats game, what a beautiful night (and now you are staring me down wondering why I stalk your family... you are psycho!)... why is it weird for me to say... I saw Joe at Szechuan Palace, love that place... that is nosy? No its just a statement of fact.
Do you have friends? You never say... hey saw you at Wolf Trap, did you have fun... we were in a hurry and could not stop to chat.
You are crazy if you don't have these normal conversations with your friends. I am not outing anybody I am just making conversation.
If you are guilty of something own it ... stop blaming others.
You are 100% backtracking and you know it. Your original comment was "If I see George out with someone, I later tell George's wife in front of George and let them deal with it." You are not idly chatting with someone about how they enjoyed the show at Wolf Trap. Talk about owning it... I don't have anything to hide, from my husband or anyone. YOU need to own the fact you admitted you enjoy delivering potentially upsetting information to women, in front of their spouse, so you can have the pleasure of being Hall Monitor for other people's behavior and marriages.
NP. You're so right - best to let women be bamboozled while their husband fucks around.
I believe most women are capable of finding out themselves. Maybe this is a personality trait where I don't enjoy others seeing me in weakness/pain/suffering, but if I get the feeling my husband is cheating, I am perfectly capable of getting to the bottom of it myself. No I do not want some fellow preschool parent taking it upon themselves to tell me. Handling my own shit is more important to me than the fact some busy-body pities me because she thinks she saw my husband having an affair.
Anonymous
09/17/2015 08:27
Subject: Re:Saw friend's husband out with another woman
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.
What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.
"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"
Then I let them deal with it.
Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.
If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.
Nice shit stirring.
If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.
Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.
Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.
Really... I say to friends all the time... hey I saw Joe and the boys at the Nats game, what a beautiful night (and now you are staring me down wondering why I stalk your family... you are psycho!)... why is it weird for me to say... I saw Joe at Szechuan Palace, love that place... that is nosy? No its just a statement of fact.
Do you have friends? You never say... hey saw you at Wolf Trap, did you have fun... we were in a hurry and could not stop to chat.
You are crazy if you don't have these normal conversations with your friends. I am not outing anybody I am just making conversation.
If you are guilty of something own it ... stop blaming others.
You are 100% backtracking and you know it. Your original comment was "If I see George out with someone, I later tell George's wife in front of George and let them deal with it." You are not idly chatting with someone about how they enjoyed the show at Wolf Trap. Talk about owning it... I don't have anything to hide, from my husband or anyone. YOU need to own the fact you admitted you enjoy delivering potentially upsetting information to women, in front of their spouse, so you can have the pleasure of being Hall Monitor for other people's behavior and marriages.
NP. You're so right - best to let women be bamboozled while their husband fucks around.
Anonymous
09/17/2015 08:26
Subject: Saw friend's husband out with another woman
My husband cheated. I would have appreciated a head's up instead of thinking I was insane for years.
Anonymous
09/17/2015 08:26
Subject: Re:Saw friend's husband out with another woman
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.
What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.
"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"
Then I let them deal with it.
Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.
If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.
Nice shit stirring.
If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.
Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.
Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.
Really... I say to friends all the time... hey I saw Joe and the boys at the Nats game, what a beautiful night (and now you are staring me down wondering why I stalk your family... you are psycho!)... why is it weird for me to say... I saw Joe at Szechuan Palace, love that place... that is nosy? No its just a statement of fact.
Do you have friends? You never say... hey saw you at Wolf Trap, did you have fun... we were in a hurry and could not stop to chat.
You are crazy if you don't have these normal conversations with your friends. I am not outing anybody I am just making conversation.
If you are guilty of something own it ... stop blaming others.
You are 100% backtracking and you know it. Your original comment was "If I see George out with someone, I later tell George's wife in front of George and let them deal with it." You are not idly chatting with someone about how they enjoyed the show at Wolf Trap. Talk about owning it... I don't have anything to hide, from my husband or anyone. YOU need to own the fact you admitted you enjoy delivering potentially upsetting information to women, in front of their spouse, so you can have the pleasure of being Hall Monitor for other people's behavior and marriages.
Anonymous
09/17/2015 08:25
Subject: Saw friend's husband out with another woman
Anonymous wrote:I've told a friend when I saw another woman coming in and out of her house while she was OOT. I deeply regretted it because it involved me in their messy messy divorce. I would never tell again.
In a case like this, DH just has to want to get caught. How reckless!
Anonymous
09/17/2015 08:23
Subject: Saw friend's husband out with another woman
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:These people are not your friends, they are people you know through your kids. And it seems like all your social activities are through the kids (saw them at a playmate, at a birthday party). Totally not your business.
OP here. How do you know who our friends are? We moved to the area after we had kids. All of our friends are people with kids. We hang out with this group of people often. This particular family often travel internationally during the summer. We also traveled a lot during the summer. Their child and my child were born in the same month and we have hung out regularly since we met them 3 years ago.
We only know how you presented it. And, from what you said, you don't know this woman well enough to do anything more but mention this if it comes up in the course of regular conversation. If you see her (and from what you wrote, you haven't seen her for months) and the topic comes up---even then, tread carefully---you can mention (speaking of Asian cuisine...) you saw DH out at X restaurant. Please don't seek her out after not seeing her all this time to share this information. It's not kind.
Anonymous
09/17/2015 08:23
Subject: Saw friend's husband out with another woman
Anonymous wrote:Wait, so you were tempted to notify her just because you saw her husband at a restaurant with another man. I go out with other men very frequently. They are friends. It would be super-weird if you notified my husband. Also, I know many people in open relationships. This is absolutely none of your business.
Moreover, to the terrible women who gets pleasure in breaking up families, you are just awful.
NP: the woman you reference doesn't get pleasure breaking up families, I think it's the cheating men getting pleasure as they break up their own families.
If I saw a friend's spouse/child/friend when I was out, I would mention that the next time I saw them. This is not shit stirring, this is normal small talk.