He should be punished to show him and all his friends who dared him that you don't aggressively kiss someone against her will.

I don't believe this should stay for ever on his record, but then, do assault charges at 13 stay on your permanent record? It shouldn't, in my opinion, but I don't know the law on this.

Anonymous wrote:

Yes -- sexual assault is unacceptable. But why can't a suspension deliver that message? Why can't his parents? Why jail?

Jail? It's unlikely that a juvenile assault charge would land him in jail.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine that your wife comes home and says that a male coworker stuck his tongue in her mouth on a dare from a friend. Their boss suspends him for a week without pay. Is that good enough for you? It'll teach him a lesson, right? The other male employees should be deterred by seeing how he was punished? Why would you and your wife still be upset? No need to get the police involved.

What is the relevance to a 13 year old child?

Does the age of the victim (14) mean that she deserves less justice?

Maybe we should have a sliding scale of victimhood cause "boys will be boys" after all...

You're probably hoping she'll just forget about the whole thing over time anyway? And she's not anyone's wife yet, so it's not like some man should feel violated.

Anonymous wrote:Imagine that your wife comes home and says that a male coworker stuck his tongue in her mouth on a dare from a friend. Their boss suspends him for a week without pay. Is that good enough for you? It'll teach him a lesson, right? The other male employees should be deterred by seeing how he was punished? Why would you and your wife still be upset? No need to get the police involved.

What is the relevance to a 13 year old child?

Imagine that your wife comes home and says that a male coworker stuck his tongue in her mouth on a dare from a friend. Their boss suspends him for a week without pay. Is that good enough for you? It'll teach him a lesson, right? The other male employees should be deterred by seeing how he was punished? Why would you and your wife still be upset? No need to get the police involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:19, which do you object to? Calling this assault, or charging him with assault?

Chicken and egg, right? I mean it was an unwanted sexual touching of another...it is assault. If it is assault, then he should be charged, right? I don't object to it being called an assault, because it is what is it. I don't like to see a life marred so young by something that was clearly stupid and the lesson doesn't need to be taught to him by handing down a lifelong punishment.

I agree.

This is an act of thirteen year old stupidity.

He deserves a school level punishment and hopefully a lesson learned.

Not having his life ruined for being dumb and jerky.

+1

Let me guess -- this is a black child. So the system will throw everything it has against him.

I am AA and normally suspicious of escalating at school behavior to the police but sexual assault is unacceptable.

Yes -- sexual assault is unacceptable. But why can't a suspension deliver that message? Why can't his parents? Why jail?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So he shouldn't be charged with assault because some time in the future he might have to say on a job application that he was charged with assault?

I didn't say that. I think there are two ways to look at this. One way is he did the crime, so he needs to face the full punishment. The other is that it could be handled on a school level (suspension) and have school wide education on the topic, and the message is still received by him. Do you think this kid won't have learned his lesson by a week's suspension, his parents knowing, the school knowing, etc? Do you think the boys who made the dare with him aren't scared themselves? Do you think he needs a record as a deterrent for future similar behavior or that the remainder if the student body needs his punishment to deter them from acting like this?

Nice way to tell a young girl that her body is less important than a boy's future earnings.

Uh, nice way to not read what I said correctly. First, no one said that he shouldn't be punished. The question is if a conviction for a sexual crime is the punishment that fits this crime and are there other punishments that could be handed out that could equally be effective in terms of deterrence, punishment, etc. and yet not cause life lone repercussions? I most certainly think there are. No one has ever said we aren't thinking of the girl at all. For example, suspending the kid for a week would send a message to him and his parents - don't you think? Or do you think he is some deviant that if he is suspended for a week that he will come back and randomly French kiss other girls?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone so concerned about the boy and not the girl?

Exactly!

On the other hand, everybody (so far) does seem to agree that it actually was assault, not just harmless teenage games and boys will be boys and the girl should be flattered and laugh it off, so I think that's progress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:19, which do you object to? Calling this assault, or charging him with assault?

Chicken and egg, right? I mean it was an unwanted sexual touching of another...it is assault. If it is assault, then he should be charged, right? I don't object to it being called an assault, because it is what is it. I don't like to see a life marred so young by something that was clearly stupid and the lesson doesn't need to be taught to him by handing down a lifelong punishment.

I agree.

This is an act of thirteen year old stupidity.

He deserves a school level punishment and hopefully a lesson learned.

Not having his life ruined for being dumb and jerky.

+1

Let me guess -- this is a black child. So the system will throw everything it has against him.

I am AA and normally suspicious of escalating at school behavior to the police but sexual assault is unacceptable.

I agree with you... (I am not the PP) ... but I would like to know if similar situation were dealt with in a similar way. This is the 1st boy every to do something like this... I doubt it.

While I completely agree that everything is getting a little out of control when we have to call the cops on everybody ... here is the thing...

He assaulted her.
It is her choice on how to handle it.
It seems harsh but it is her choice, and she has that right.
He is a juvenile, it is a 2nd degree assault charge.
He will go to court and get some sort of community service and counseling.
It may have a positive impact.

If he punched a kid in the mouth it would be assault.
He stuck his tongue in her mouth.. .this was not a kiss on the cheek.

Kids need to know this is not okay.

BTW, my friend's son was being bullied, the bully was IN HIS FACE calling him names at the bus stop, the dad separated the two kids with his hands. He was charged with assault. It seems excessive ... but again, a lesson learned ... you can't touch somebody ... you have to walk away. It went to court, my friend did some anger classes (which is funny since he is so incredibly passive) and it was expunged.

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone so concerned about the boy and not the girl?

Exactly!

Why is everyone so concerned about the boy and not the girl?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:19, which do you object to? Calling this assault, or charging him with assault?

Chicken and egg, right? I mean it was an unwanted sexual touching of another...it is assault. If it is assault, then he should be charged, right? I don't object to it being called an assault, because it is what is it. I don't like to see a life marred so young by something that was clearly stupid and the lesson doesn't need to be taught to him by handing down a lifelong punishment.

I agree.

This is an act of thirteen year old stupidity.

He deserves a school level punishment and hopefully a lesson learned.

Not having his life ruined for being dumb and jerky.

+1

Let me guess -- this is a black child. So the system will throw everything it has against him.

I am AA and normally suspicious of escalating at school behavior to the police but sexual assault is unacceptable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So he shouldn't be charged with assault because some time in the future he might have to say on a job application that he was charged with assault?

I didn't say that. I think there are two ways to look at this. One way is he did the crime, so he needs to face the full punishment. The other is that it could be handled on a school level (suspension) and have school wide education on the topic, and the message is still received by him. Do you think this kid won't have learned his lesson by a week's suspension, his parents knowing, the school knowing, etc? Do you think the boys who made the dare with him aren't scared themselves? Do you think he needs a record as a deterrent for future similar behavior or that the remainder if the student body needs his punishment to deter them from acting like this?

Nice way to tell a young girl that her body is less important than a boy's future earnings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:19, which do you object to? Calling this assault, or charging him with assault?

Chicken and egg, right? I mean it was an unwanted sexual touching of another...it is assault. If it is assault, then he should be charged, right? I don't object to it being called an assault, because it is what is it. I don't like to see a life marred so young by something that was clearly stupid and the lesson doesn't need to be taught to him by handing down a lifelong punishment.

I agree.

This is an act of thirteen year old stupidity.

He deserves a school level punishment and hopefully a lesson learned.

Not having his life ruined for being dumb and jerky.

+1

Let me guess -- this is a black child. So the system will throw everything it has against him.