Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 08:12     Subject: Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's too early if you have to fly. It takes a while to look out for a good ticket, arrange for time off work, etc.


+1

With long distance family on both sides, we usually have a plan for the holidays far in advance, even just we go there or who comes here for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

OP, do you not have some kind of pattern going with your parents and ILs?
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 08:05     Subject: Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
My family starts making holiday plan during our summer beach vacation. I have divorced parents, who are remarried to people who have children and grandchildren. I have two siblings and all three of us are married (meaning there are 3 inlaw families) with children. Lots of us are local, but not everyone. Planning early is key to juggling all the different family demands. We do it out of love, because we all want to see if it's possible to get everyone together. Sometimes it is, sometimes it's not. But if we don't start even thinking about it until October a gathering will never happen.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 07:59     Subject: Re:Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
Anonymous wrote:In my house, if I don't plan it, it doesn't happen. If my MIL responded that way, I would email her back something light. "I know it's early, but between leave requests for work and airline tickets, I thought it best to be an early bird. Let me know when you are making your holiday plans so we can see if a trip is possible."

And then I would do exactly what I wanted. If she got back in touch, I would say, "Oh! So sorry. Hadn't heard from you so I have made plans to host at our house. We can't get leave/reasonably priced tickets now. Maybe we can get talk about a spring break trip after the holidays."


This advice is perfect.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 07:57     Subject: Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
OP, it's not too early. If plane tickets need to be purchased or time off work needs to be requested, September is when those things happen. Yes, some people wait until Halloween to even think about it, and I'd think most of those people aren't flying anywhere. Every time I've flown to see family at Xmas I've bought my tickets in September or early October.

If it was too early, there is still a polite response. She was clearly annoyed you asked. I don't want to spend the holidays (and a ton of money flying) with someone who isn't overjoyed I'm planning a trip nice and early.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 07:47     Subject: Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
Damn people look for problems.
You ask a generic, opened ended question and get pissed because you did not get a specific answer- DAFUQQQQQQQQ?!!
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 07:41     Subject: Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
It's not too early to starting planning and booking flights. That doesn't mean your MIL meant anything more than what she said. Just respond with a quick response explaining why you were asking and see what she says.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 07:22     Subject: Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
Anonymous wrote:OP here. What I should have mentioned is that MIL has been dealing with an illness that makes it difficult to impossible for her to travel here anymore. Her last visit to us in February, and to SIL in May clarified that she should no longer travel in airplanes. If she wants to see us in Nov or Dec, we will be appearing at her house. When possible, I like to use miles for at least one of our tickets, so the opportunity to use them for a Thanksgiving trip has probably already closed, but Christmas is still a possibility.


Did you clarify this in your email to her? Based on your initial post, it sounds like your initial email may have been abrupt and not clear about what you were trying to do.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 07:11     Subject: Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Well, sounds like you are having the holidays at your house! Now you don't have to worry about trying to plan travel. If they want to come, are they invited?

I'm not a sports fan, but doesn't football season last into January or something? Or at least well past Thanksgiving?


OP did say Texas. This means high school football, followed by college.


Thanks for explaining. So someone grandma-aged liked OP's MIL is that highly invested in high school football? That's a bit sad, in my opinion. But then again, I'm not into sports so what do I know. Guess it's time to watch "Friday Night Lights" again!
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 07:09     Subject: Re:Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
Anonymous wrote:In my house, if I don't plan it, it doesn't happen. If my MIL responded that way, I would email her back something light. "I know it's early, but between leave requests for work and airline tickets, I thought it best to be an early bird. Let me know when you are making your holiday plans so we can see if a trip is possible."

And then I would do exactly what I wanted. If she got back in touch, I would say, "Oh! So sorry. Hadn't heard from you so I have made plans to host at our house. We can't get leave/reasonably priced tickets now. Maybe we can get talk about a spring break trip after the holidays."


OP, this PP has it perfectly.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 05:37     Subject: Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
And now if OP can't get four seats together, DCUM posters can tell her it's her fault for not planning better.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 00:32     Subject: Re:Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
In my house, if I don't plan it, it doesn't happen. If my MIL responded that way, I would email her back something light. "I know it's early, but between leave requests for work and airline tickets, I thought it best to be an early bird. Let me know when you are making your holiday plans so we can see if a trip is possible."

And then I would do exactly what I wanted. If she got back in touch, I would say, "Oh! So sorry. Hadn't heard from you so I have made plans to host at our house. We can't get leave/reasonably priced tickets now. Maybe we can get talk about a spring break trip after the holidays."
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2015 23:57     Subject: Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
Both sets of parents live several states away, so any visits home require a set of four plane tickets. I like to book early for the best seat selection and fare.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2015 23:42     Subject: Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
OP here. What I should have mentioned is that MIL has been dealing with an illness that makes it difficult to impossible for her to travel here anymore. Her last visit to us in February, and to SIL in May clarified that she should no longer travel in airplanes. If she wants to see us in Nov or Dec, we will be appearing at her house. When possible, I like to use miles for at least one of our tickets, so the opportunity to use them for a Thanksgiving trip has probably already closed, but Christmas is still a possibility.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2015 23:34     Subject: Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
Anonymous wrote:Well, sounds like you are having the holidays at your house! Now you don't have to worry about trying to plan travel. If they want to come, are they invited?

I'm not a sports fan, but doesn't football season last into January or something? Or at least well past Thanksgiving?


OP did say Texas. This means high school football, followed by college.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2015 23:10     Subject: Re:Reached out to MIL about the holidays...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OMG... who the hell is planning Thanksgiving and Christmas already.


You need to chill out.


I'm not OP, but I certainly am planning already! Between work schedules, school and airfare, it is by no means too early--especially for Thanksgiving.

Don't hate because you aren't as organized and together as some people...


+1 My parents already booked their flights to come visit us for Thanksgiving.