Anonymous wrote:I downplay my religious and spiritual beliefs. We live in a very secular and left-brained society that totally discourages true faith, IME.

You could always move to the deep south where people of true faith are more plentiful

I downplay my religious and spiritual beliefs. We live in a very secular and left-brained society that totally discourages true faith, IME.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I'm discrete about being an atheist.

This. I don't out myself for just anyone. It goes double when I meet with religious blacks, since I am black.

Unless you decide to take the opportunity to show them that a nice black person like you can be an atheist. Otherwise, the stereotype continues.

I do when possible. But I have become unwelcome in certain black businesses that I would use (like a hair salon) in the past when it came out I did not go to church. If people get to know me first then my lack of faith isn't really an issue, if it is revealed.

You mean they wouldn't let you do business with them? or do they just treat you differently? If the latter, I'd go back anyhow, be as nice as pie and see what happens. I hate to think that blacks, who know so much about oppression, would oppress one of their own because of their beliefs.

Minority groups didn't make progress by backing down

I went to a hair salon years ago and where I went to church came up in conversation. I responded very honestly that I didn't go to church. When asked why, and if I wanted to go to church with the stylist, I politely declined and explained that I didn't believe in religion. The next time I went there to get my hair done, she did the service, but told me that she thought it was best that I not return, because she was not comfortable with someone who did not go to church visiting her business.

I too would like to think that black people are open minded, and many of us are, but there are certain taboos and I broke one of them. Church is still at the heart of the community and to turn away from it is like turning away from the community.

After that, if I patronized a business on a regular basis, I was careful to watch for what became a code, "Do you have a church home?" That's when I knew my queue was to look elsewhere. Now my stylist is Korean and no one cares at that place or even discusses it!

I hope it was a long, long time ago and that the stylist has changed her ways. Maybe the next time you hear the code words, you can say something like "no, but can I continue using your services? I was once asked not to come back when I said that I didn't attend church and I don't want that to happen again, it was embarrassing."

Is that grounds for a massive civil suit?

Anonymous wrote:I am jewish.. Back when I was in college I was on a long bus ride coming home because my father had just had a heart attack. I don't remember how it came up, but the person sitting next to me found out I was not christian. She, and three other people, started pressuring me about christianity - about how it would save me, and help my father. After about a hour of this badgering, I gasped, looked up, and stated "Praise the Lord, I've been saved". Then they left me alone.

Does that count?

best example yet.

Anonymous wrote:I'm an atheist but in certain groups I'll say "I was raised protestant". A lot easier.

Easier for the present, but not for the future. Maybe next time you can say "I was raised protestant but I'm not religious any more, How about you?" in other words, make it seem as natural to be religious as not to be religious. Instead of you cutting off the conversation, put the ball i their court.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I'm discrete about being an atheist.

This. I don't out myself for just anyone. It goes double when I meet with religious blacks, since I am black.

Unless you decide to take the opportunity to show them that a nice black person like you can be an atheist. Otherwise, the stereotype continues.

I do when possible. But I have become unwelcome in certain black businesses that I would use (like a hair salon) in the past when it came out I did not go to church. If people get to know me first then my lack of faith isn't really an issue, if it is revealed.

You mean they wouldn't let you do business with them? or do they just treat you differently? If the latter, I'd go back anyhow, be as nice as pie and see what happens. I hate to think that blacks, who know so much about oppression, would oppress one of their own because of their beliefs.

Minority groups didn't make progress by backing down

I went to a hair salon years ago and where I went to church came up in conversation. I responded very honestly that I didn't go to church. When asked why, and if I wanted to go to church with the stylist, I politely declined and explained that I didn't believe in religion. The next time I went there to get my hair done, she did the service, but told me that she thought it was best that I not return, because she was not comfortable with someone who did not go to church visiting her business.

I too would like to think that black people are open minded, and many of us are, but there are certain taboos and I broke one of them. Church is still at the heart of the community and to turn away from it is like turning away from the community.

After that, if I patronized a business on a regular basis, I was careful to watch for what became a code, "Do you have a church home?" That's when I knew my queue was to look elsewhere. Now my stylist is Korean and no one cares at that place or even discusses it!

I hope it was a long, long time ago and that the stylist has changed her ways. Maybe the next time you hear the code words, you can say something like "no, but can I continue using your services? I was once asked not to come back when I said that I didn't attend church and I don't want that to happen again, it was embarrassing."

Nope. And I've always been a religious minority.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I'm discrete about being an atheist.

This. I don't out myself for just anyone. It goes double when I meet with religious blacks, since I am black.

Unless you decide to take the opportunity to show them that a nice black person like you can be an atheist. Otherwise, the stereotype continues.

I do when possible. But I have become unwelcome in certain black businesses that I would use (like a hair salon) in the past when it came out I did not go to church. If people get to know me first then my lack of faith isn't really an issue, if it is revealed.

You mean they wouldn't let you do business with them? or do they just treat you differently? If the latter, I'd go back anyhow, be as nice as pie and see what happens. I hate to think that blacks, who know so much about oppression, would oppress one of their own because of their beliefs.

Minority groups didn't make progress by backing down

I went to a hair salon years ago and where I went to church came up in conversation. I responded very honestly that I didn't go to church. When asked why, and if I wanted to go to church with the stylist, I politely declined and explained that I didn't believe in religion. The next time I went there to get my hair done, she did the service, but told me that she thought it was best that I not return, because she was not comfortable with someone who did not go to church visiting her business.

I too would like to think that black people are open minded, and many of us are, but there are certain taboos and I broke one of them. Church is still at the heart of the community and to turn away from it is like turning away from the community.

After that, if I patronized a business on a regular basis, I was careful to watch for what became a code, "Do you have a church home?" That's when I knew my queue was to look elsewhere. Now my stylist is Korean and no one cares at that place or even discusses it!

I'm an atheist but in certain groups I'll say "I was raised protestant". A lot easier.

I am Catholic but I sometimes pretend to be jewish when I am buying at a jewish business, throwing in yiddish phrases etc. Plus my surname can pass either way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I'm discrete about being an atheist.

This. I don't out myself for just anyone. It goes double when I meet with religious blacks, since I am black.

Unless you decide to take the opportunity to show them that a nice black person like you can be an atheist. Otherwise, the stereotype continues.

Leading with atheism isn't the way to do it in most cases. I generally wait until people know me well. It's still taboo for many and I don't people to assume I'm judging them
Based on their faith (because I'm not)

It isn't "leading" with atheism, or anything else, if religion naturally comes up in the conversation, as in someone asking you what church you go to. Responding "I don't go to church" is fine adding "I'm not religious" is better (IMO).

By the way, it will stay "taboo" as long as people think ordinary people aren't atheists. The only reason it's more acceptable now is because more ordinary (non-celebrity) people are openly atheist -- the way they are openly gay or openly republican or whatever.

You're right, but I don't always have the energy to be a normal person poster child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I'm discrete about being an atheist.

This. I don't out myself for just anyone. It goes double when I meet with religious blacks, since I am black.

Unless you decide to take the opportunity to show them that a nice black person like you can be an atheist. Otherwise, the stereotype continues.

I do when possible. But I have become unwelcome in certain black businesses that I would use (like a hair salon) in the past when it came out I did not go to church. If people get to know me first then my lack of faith isn't really an issue, if it is revealed.

You mean they wouldn't let you do business with them? or do they just treat you differently? If the latter, I'd go back anyhow, be as nice as pie and see what happens. I hate to think that balcks, who know so much about oppression, would oppress one of their own because of their beliefs.

Minority groups didn't make progress by backing down

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I haven't done so, but have suspected other people. For instance, I worked with a guy who seemed to pretend to be Jew to get days off. He told me he didn't go to a synagogue, didn't wear a yarmulke and ate everything without caring whether it was kosher.

He's probably Jewish and not practicing.

My aunt by marriage literally does nothing with her faith except identify as Jewish and I totally don't get it.

There are many cultural Jews, who identify with a shared past, stories, traditions and foods who don't practice a religion (many are atheists)

Yup, my husband is at most agnostic, but he still celebrates the high holidays out of respect for his heritage and all the relatives who were lost in the holocaust.

Original PP here. I hate to point out skin color, but the guy is black. Before I get flamed, I know there are Jewish of all skin colors. I may be wrong about him, but I wasn't the only one in the office doubting his faith.

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who has essentially started her own religion in order to make her feel better about the fact she cites a religious objection on school forms to getting her child vaccinated. I'm horrified.

PP here. Just clarifying that this person does not vaccinate and claims a religious exemption. She felt guilty and gathered a bunch of anti-vaxxers to start a church.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I'm discrete about being an atheist.

This. I don't out myself for just anyone. It goes double when I meet with religious blacks, since I am black.

Unless you decide to take the opportunity to show them that a nice black person like you can be an atheist. Otherwise, the stereotype continues.

Leading with atheism isn't the way to do it in most cases. I generally wait until people know me well. It's still taboo for many and I don't people to assume I'm judging them
Based on their faith (because I'm not)

It isn't "leading" with atheism, or anything else, if religion naturally comes up in the conversation, as in someone asking you what church you go to. Responding "I don't go to church" is fine adding "I'm not religious" is better (IMO).

By the way, it will stay "taboo" as long as people think ordinary people aren't atheists. The only reason it's more acceptable now is because more ordinary (non-celebrity) people are openly atheist -- the way they are openly gay or openly republican or whatever.