She's rude. Doesn't seem like she cares whether she comes across that way or not. I'd send her an email.

Anonymous wrote:

Ahoy Hoy?

My husband answers all his family's calls with a short-sounding "What's up?" because when they call it's about something specific. They're not just calling to chat. That's probably the style here with absolutely no rudeness meant.

In my family I notice we all say "Hello" as if we're polite strangers, no matter what. I've tried the other way, and always feel rude. LOL.

I confess I have done this once or twice when I was really annoyed at all the questions ( planning a family thing, it was not rocket science and the amount of back and forth was exhausting). I did it to give them the message I had no time or patience and that their stress over this trip was annoying.

I'm not proud of this, but this post jolted my memory and i have to admit this is what it came from.

OP, you may need to reflect a little on what's going on. Does she text only and you try to call her? Are you calling about a stressor or "hot button" issue? Even simple things like family visits can be issues for inlaws and families.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust me; as someone who says this, she really doesn't want to talk to you. I say this when I know someone is not getting to the point or is not being direct and honest about his motivations. So either she doesn't want to dance around the topic with you or she doesn't want to talk to you at all. It is deliberately dismissive and meant to shorten the time spent in contact with you. It is not your imagination. You need to let her go. Make her as irrelevant to you as you are to her. It's what she really wants.

Why doesn't she just send to voicemail like the rest of the world, then?

Because its more aggressive and people that would answe the phone like that enjoy being aggressive and dismissive.

SIL doesn't have to answer if she is just that busy...

Do you only call when you need something? Is so, she is sending you a not so subtle message.

Either she doesn't realize it's rude or it makes her feel important. Either way, it would irk me too. Do you ever email or text each other? If so, I would use that for making plans. BTW, 99% of the time my SIL and I only ever email/call/text when plans are in the works and I don't think it bothers either of us. We catch up when we see each other in person.

SIL is rude!