Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't take it personally OP. Really.

He is simply moving on in years & may tire more easily now.

Or perhaps the stress of caring for a difficult toddler may have him re-examining his desire to add another child into the mix. Just the one child may be wearing him down enough + he cannot imagine having a duplicate down the road.

Just my ideas. Food for thought.

Finally, the most likely scenario. Thank you, pp! This is exactly what my DH said last night when I read this to him.

i agree with others regarding the complicated and multi-faceted response your DH is likely having to TTC sex, especially in the context of a lower-libido DW scenario. The fact that he is the one who raised the issue of having another child and/or that he wants another child does not mitigate this emotional response.

In light of that, I recommend that you visit the TTC forum on DCUM and educate yourself better about your fertile window. It's really 2 days, give or take another 2 days. That's four days, TOPS. Not "a week and a half" or "weeks" as you have stated in various posts. And I also recommend that you keep your fertile window info to yourself. You don't need to share that with him, which might take off some of the pressure. And then, of course, be having regular sex with him throughout the month so it doesn't seem so obvious when TTC time rolls around.

Oh, and newsflash everybody. It should be no surprise that a woman's sex drive is increasing in her 30s. Mine went through the roof.

Anonymous wrote:I find it interesting that OP was rejected twice by DH and sought counsel here to deal with her "wounds", but nowhere does she indicate that the experience gave her empathy for the rejection her husband dealt with for years.

+1

DH here: my guess is that you are significantly underestimating how much your DH is unhappy about your frequency of sex. I was in a similar boat, and became somewhat resentful about my DW's much-increased interest in having sex during TTC periods as compared to our rather lackluster baseline. It just kind of puts it in your face to see her aggressively take the initiative to have sex in order to conceive, as compared to the general lack of interest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conception sex sucks.

Bottom line.

Amen!

Anonymous wrote:He will have trouble being happy in your marriage. It will only get worse after kids. He's turning you down because he is probably hesitating on TTC and feels you are using him. You only have sex every other day for a baby. Never any other time. That would make me feel unhappy.

+1 you only want a baby... not him... typical situation. Woman uses sex as a means to an end.

I wouldn't take it personally OP. Really.

He is simply moving on in years & may tire more easily now.

Or perhaps the stress of caring for a difficult toddler may have him re-examining his desire to add another child into the mix. Just the one child may be wearing him down enough + he cannot imagine having a duplicate down the road.

Just my ideas. Food for thought.

How old are you?! You have to rally to have sex with your husband? Ugh that is so depressing. I do feel bad for him.

Anonymous wrote:I find it interesting that OP was rejected twice by DH and sought counsel here to deal with her "wounds", but nowhere does she indicate that the experience gave her empathy for the rejection her husband dealt with for years.

Because it was her doing the rejecting. She hears no twice while smacking him in the head with a calendar and it's a BIG DEAL.

OP sounds insufferable.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah. Some of you ladies would crumble if you deal with all of the suspicion and rejection that most men have gone through by time they are adults.

I don't think you want to start playing this game, bro.

Yeah. Some of you ladies would crumble if you deal with all of the suspicion and rejection that most men have gone through by time they are adults.

I find it interesting that OP was rejected twice by DH and sought counsel here to deal with her "wounds", but nowhere does she indicate that the experience gave her empathy for the rejection her husband dealt with for years.

Anonymous wrote:Conception sex sucks.

Bottom line.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don't have much to add here, but I think you owe it to us to share your secrets to improving your libido! Please!!

I feel like this is so individualized to each person, what worked for me probably would not for someone else. This would be a long post and I need to check out for the night, but I'll try to come back and answer this tomorrow in case my experience is helpful for anyone.

Conception sex sucks.