Anonymous wrote:OP here - thank you for everyone's thoughtful responses! While I agree with everyone's posts (the grass is always greener, be grateful, our home is big relative to other homes around the world), I do think it can be a struggle, even for an adult, to maintain that positive attitude if most people we know or encounter have bigger homes. Our home is fine, but it would be nice to have more space to entertain or another full bath. Also, I wonder if it would be worth it to move to a more affordable area so that we can feel more or less average, as opposed to being on the lower end of the income spectrum in our neighborhood and school.

Which area of MoCo, if you don't mind me asking??

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thank you for everyone's thoughtful responses! While I agree with everyone's posts (the grass is always greener, be grateful, our home is big relative to other homes around the world), I do think it can be a struggle, even for an adult, to maintain that positive attitude if most people we know or encounter have bigger homes. Our home is fine, but it would be nice to have more space to entertain or another full bath. Also, I wonder if it would be worth it to move to a more affordable area so that we can feel more or less average, as opposed to being on the lower end of the income spectrum in our neighborhood and school.

OP, I think this may be your small-house dilemma (and feelings of inadequacy), not your children's.

Anonymous wrote:We live in a consumer driven, envy inducing country. Our culture consists of the almighty dollar. We are ripe for a truly left wing presidency one hopes.

wat

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're two adults and two teens in two bedrooms with 1 1/4 baths. We're fine.

What is a 1/4 bath?

A toilet in the basement.

OP this is where good parenting comes in. These are character building moments, tell then this what we can afford and they should be very thankful to their parents and god for providing them a house in a neighborhood full of castles. They can study and buy whatever they feel like.

Back home our next door neighbor was the Chief Justice of the state we lived in (think VA), his wife would say GRACEFULLY on many occasions that "they can't afford that thing or this thing". That's the best lesson I learned in my life, to be proud, comfortable and content with what you have and live with dignity. I tell my kids that only one quest should be insatiable and that is the quest for knowledge, rest is so meh.

We haven't had the "Johnny has a bigger house" problem, but we have had Johnny make rude comments when he is a guest in our home about how much bigger his bedroom is than our son's. Johnny did not get invited back.

Be matter-of-fact about it, OP. If you show that YOU feel your house is inadequate, the kids will pick up on that. If you speak with your spouse about how much you lack compared to your neighbors, the kids will overhear and internalize. Convince yourself, first and foremost, that you are doing the right thing living within your means.

And I agree with many PPs that experiences are more valuable than things, but for a lot of us it's not, "big house vs. fancy vacation." It's "big house vs. ability to put food on the table." I know when you're inside the bubble it can feel like everyone has so much money they are just choosing between various non-essential luxuries, but that's not always the case.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They feel sort of bewildered and sad about why their home is so much smaller.

This is pathetic.

No, they are kids. We live in a 3200 sqft sfh (with basement). But growing up, I lived in a tiny tiny house, and there were six of us in total. I was embarrassed as a teenager to have people over my house. I didn't buy a big house because of how I felt growing up, though. I bought this size house because it suited us and we could afford it, actually we could afford more, but I didn't want to.

OP - my kids have seen some of the big houses along River rd, and commented how they'd love to live there. I told them then they need to make sure they get a great education, and a really high paying job if they want to live in a house like that. I tell them how I grew up, how there are kids who live in a much smaller place than their's, even some that have no homes at all. So, be grateful for what you have, which by my childhood standards is a heck of a whole lot.

Op, ignore.

Getting use to see others who have more and accept what you have or work to have more is not bad

Stay where you are, unless you fall in love with another neighborhood.

We own the tiniest house in our neighborhood, and it's badly in need of a coat of paint. Interestingly, some houses next door, including our immediate neighbor's were broken into, but not ours. We're just not attractive enough

More importantly, we love our neighborhood. Commute is 10 minutes. Although everyone "seems" richer (they might actually not be!), they're all friendly.
We're staying put.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. DD doesn't feel so bad when she is parasailing in the Keys.

Experiences over material things.

yup. this. I wouldn't either.

This is us, too. Just went to a resort in a tropical paradise on a tiny island in Asia with the kids. They'd rather have adventures than a bunch of space we wouldn't need.

Anonymous wrote:Eh. DD doesn't feel so bad when she is parasailing in the Keys.

Experiences over material things.

yup. this. I wouldn't either.

OP here - thank you for everyone's thoughtful responses! While I agree with everyone's posts (the grass is always greener, be grateful, our home is big relative to other homes around the world), I do think it can be a struggle, even for an adult, to maintain that positive attitude if most people we know or encounter have bigger homes. Our home is fine, but it would be nice to have more space to entertain or another full bath. Also, I wonder if it would be worth it to move to a more affordable area so that we can feel more or less average, as opposed to being on the lower end of the income spectrum in our neighborhood and school.

I'm in the same situation, OP.

We recently went to Tokyo and saw how tiny Japanese homes are, and how ingeniously and efficiently they use their space - truly well thought out and constructed, with tons of handy gadgets.

They understood that Americans "waste" a lot of space, and that larger does not necessarily mean richer, or most tasteful or distinctive.

When I was in high school and college, I was embarrassed by the size of our house in comparison to those of friends I met not in our neighborhood. We lived in Potomac and at the time our house was about 3600 ft, but half was the basement. (so really 1800 sqft, each floor) Now I live in a small 3 bedroom, 2 bath rambler, much smaller than the home I grew up in. Homes in the 1960's were much smaller than they are now. But I'm so glad not to have such a huge house and 3 acres to mow.