Why do women incessantly feel the need to categorize and cut other women down? Are women as a whole really this shallow and insecure? Men will never do the damage to women that other women do...

I'm around 50 so yes, am officially old. I've got kids in college. I've had short hair since 9th grade, it just looks better on me and DH has always preferred short hair. But I look better now than I did 10 years ago - lost weight, more fit, etc.

I don't pretend I'm younger and have no regrets. In fact life now is pretty good - plenty of money, more time to do what I want, enjoying life. When I read all the angst on this board I feel pretty good about being past all that.

I'm 58, in grad school and don't consider myself old.

Anonymous wrote:When is a woman old and not young anymore?

I'm guessing OP is a man. 99.9% sure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes! What is a mommy bob? I am about to get a hair cut and it has to be shorter as I have very fine hair and it looks scrappy long. Any haircut suggestions or pictures for fine hair that aren't the bob?

It's not necessarily a specific cut, rather it's simply that shorter cut women go to when they move from "sexy wife" to "frumpy mom." It's generally accompanied by the cessation of makeup, and granny panties. It may or may not be associated with the aforementioned 50 pounds.

There is generally no coming back from the Mommy Bob. Not that it's impossible to do so, but when women go there it's because they just don't care anymore about being appealing to their husbands.

Oh Lord. I am the poster who asked that question and now I am afraid to cut my hair. I think I am the woman you are describing minus the granny panties. I didn't realize that was the message I was sending. I thought I was just content with myself and could just relax and enjoy my life.

Are you still interested in being attractive to your husband? How old are you?

I am 49 and have been with my husband for 24 years. I do want to be attractive but truthfully it isn't at the top of my list. I think he still finds me attractive. We are very happy and have a healthy sex life but he has never been one to shower me with compliments even when I was younger. He doesn't care about makeup or hair but he doesn't want me to look like shit. Just as back ground, we have never been then"stylin" type, think Deadheads. I guess I could give it more effort but honestly after kids, work, husband, dogs, house, I am the last person I focus on.

OK you weren't fashionable to begin with, so it's not an age or a mom thing. Got it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha, I think I did get the mom bob after my first DC (modeled on Katie Holmes bob - why isn't she featured in the link? ) I have since grown it out again, partially through laziness and failure to get to the salon frequently, but apparently my DH is the "no man ever" because he keeps asking if I'll cut it short again! I think I'm going to compromise on some sort of long-layered "lob."

Man again. Short hair can look great. The problem is that it requires work to look great. So DW has a mommy bob and when she gets it cut it actually looks pretty good. But within a day or so it looks frumpy again because she doesn't really do with it what she's supposed to.

Also, too many times when women move from long hair to short hair they don't dive in and do it all at once with an actual short hairstyle. No, they timidly take a little off, then some more, then a little shorter, until what they have is not an actual hairstyle, but simply a long hairstyle cut short. It's that strait one length hair that stops above the shoulder. It's awful, ladies.

Oh Jesus stfu. My hair does not exist to make you, anonymously dude, happy. I am not sure what your theory of hair here is, but if you think we should all have long, wavy starlet locks you should know that that takes a lot of time and money and just does not work for some hair types. At the end of the day, a shorter cut looks neat and manageable on many women - and when you are a working mom, neat and manageable are paramount to looking professional with your limited time and money.

Let me guess, next you are going to start complaining about how all the "ladies" in your office have RBF. If only they smiled more ...

PP here. Read the bolded part. I never said that short hair CAN'T look great, I said that in practice women don't seem to MAKE it look great. It usually looks frumpy because they don't seem to try.

You don't need to please me with your looks. Nor do the women in my office. I was just commenting on the women in my sphere and how they look.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes! What is a mommy bob? I am about to get a hair cut and it has to be shorter as I have very fine hair and it looks scrappy long. Any haircut suggestions or pictures for fine hair that aren't the bob?

It's not necessarily a specific cut, rather it's simply that shorter cut women go to when they move from "sexy wife" to "frumpy mom." It's generally accompanied by the cessation of makeup, and granny panties. It may or may not be associated with the aforementioned 50 pounds.

There is generally no coming back from the Mommy Bob. Not that it's impossible to do so, but when women go there it's because they just don't care anymore about being appealing to their husbands.

Oh Lord. I am the poster who asked that question and now I am afraid to cut my hair. I think I am the woman you are describing minus the granny panties. I didn't realize that was the message I was sending. I thought I was just content with myself and could just relax and enjoy my life.

Are you still interested in being attractive to your husband? How old are you?

I am 49 and have been with my husband for 24 years. I do want to be attractive but truthfully it isn't at the top of my list. I think he still finds me attractive. We are very happy and have a healthy sex life but he has never been one to shower me with compliments even when I was younger. He doesn't care about makeup or hair but he doesn't want me to look like shit. Just as back ground, we have never been then"stylin" type, think Deadheads. I guess I could give it more effort but honestly after kids, work, husband, dogs, house, I am the last person I focus on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes! What is a mommy bob? I am about to get a hair cut and it has to be shorter as I have very fine hair and it looks scrappy long. Any haircut suggestions or pictures for fine hair that aren't the bob?

It's not necessarily a specific cut, rather it's simply that shorter cut women go to when they move from "sexy wife" to "frumpy mom." It's generally accompanied by the cessation of makeup, and granny panties. It may or may not be associated with the aforementioned 50 pounds.

There is generally no coming back from the Mommy Bob. Not that it's impossible to do so, but when women go there it's because they just don't care anymore about being appealing to their husbands.

Oh Lord. I am the poster who asked that question and now I am afraid to cut my hair. I think I am the woman you are describing minus the granny panties. I didn't realize that was the message I was sending. I thought I was just content with myself and could just relax and enjoy my life.

Nothing wrong with that, but just as a man getting pudgy and dressing like crap isn't attractive to his wife, you'll not retain the same appeal to your husband once you quit trying to look good for him. Shorter hair isn't a deal breaker in itself, it just seems to coincide with that a general lack of concern overall.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha, I think I did get the mom bob after my first DC (modeled on Katie Holmes bob - why isn't she featured in the link? ) I have since grown it out again, partially through laziness and failure to get to the salon frequently, but apparently my DH is the "no man ever" because he keeps asking if I'll cut it short again! I think I'm going to compromise on some sort of long-layered "lob."

Man again. Short hair can look great. The problem is that it requires work to look great. So DW has a mommy bob and when she gets it cut it actually looks pretty good. But within a day or so it looks frumpy again because she doesn't really do with it what she's supposed to.

Also, too many times when women move from long hair to short hair they don't dive in and do it all at once with an actual short hairstyle. No, they timidly take a little off, then some more, then a little shorter, until what they have is not an actual hairstyle, but simply a long hairstyle cut short. It's that strait one length hair that stops above the shoulder. It's awful, ladies.

Okay, but the truth is still that most men prefer long hair. I am a mom, just turned 50 and I have a very short haircut. It looks great on me (much better than long hair). Now that I am single again, I am considering growing the hair out. I don't have a problem attracting guys, but I would say 75% of them eventually ask me if I would consider growing my hair out for them.

The truth is that the mom bobs pictured in the link above take WAY MORE WORK than long hair or short hair. Those chin length bobs require more styling than longer hair or easy short cuts. They also require really frequent cuts to keep the layers and the edges cleaned up and nice looking.

My short hair is easy, I can style it in 5 minutes. I can hit the gym and not worry about having to blow out my hair for 30 minutes after a shower. Every day or two, some random guy will tell me how nice it looks -- but I also get comments from guys about letting it grow out and be "more feminine". Ugh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha, I think I did get the mom bob after my first DC (modeled on Katie Holmes bob - why isn't she featured in the link? ) I have since grown it out again, partially through laziness and failure to get to the salon frequently, but apparently my DH is the "no man ever" because he keeps asking if I'll cut it short again! I think I'm going to compromise on some sort of long-layered "lob."

Man again. Short hair can look great. The problem is that it requires work to look great. So DW has a mommy bob and when she gets it cut it actually looks pretty good. But within a day or so it looks frumpy again because she doesn't really do with it what she's supposed to.

Also, too many times when women move from long hair to short hair they don't dive in and do it all at once with an actual short hairstyle. No, they timidly take a little off, then some more, then a little shorter, until what they have is not an actual hairstyle, but simply a long hairstyle cut short. It's that strait one length hair that stops above the shoulder. It's awful, ladies.

Oh Jesus stfu. My hair does not exist to make you, anonymously dude, happy. I am not sure what your theory of hair here is, but if you think we should all have long, wavy starlet locks you should know that that takes a lot of time and money and just does not work for some hair types. At the end of the day, a shorter cut looks neat and manageable on many women - and when you are a working mom, neat and manageable are paramount to looking professional with your limited time and money.

Let me guess, next you are going to start complaining about how all the "ladies" in your office have RBF. If only they smiled more ...

I think someone is "old" when they give up. And it is not just about how you look, although that can be a sign of mentality. I had a great grandmother who lived to 93. She mowed her lawn, cleaned her house, cooked, shopped until the day she died. She never considered herself "old".

35 (and I'm way older than that!)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes! What is a mommy bob? I am about to get a hair cut and it has to be shorter as I have very fine hair and it looks scrappy long. Any haircut suggestions or pictures for fine hair that aren't the bob?

It's not necessarily a specific cut, rather it's simply that shorter cut women go to when they move from "sexy wife" to "frumpy mom." It's generally accompanied by the cessation of makeup, and granny panties. It may or may not be associated with the aforementioned 50 pounds.

There is generally no coming back from the Mommy Bob. Not that it's impossible to do so, but when women go there it's because they just don't care anymore about being appealing to their husbands.

Oh Lord. I am the poster who asked that question and now I am afraid to cut my hair. I think I am the woman you are describing minus the granny panties. I didn't realize that was the message I was sending. I thought I was just content with myself and could just relax and enjoy my life.

Are you still interested in being attractive to your husband? How old are you?

I think that as long as you stay fit you look good at any age.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, what 23:56 said. It's not a physical age. A friend of mine is 51 and in great shape, while another friend is 47 and looks well over 50 because she drinks, smokes, and doesn't take care of herself.

The younger one looks much older than the older one.

I'm 50 and look younger than I did 5 years ago, because I recommitted to a healthy exercise and eating lifestyle.