Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This doesn't make sense. You say you love the church and then say you're uncomfortable. Why would you love something that makes you uncomfortable?

Time to go church shopping. Try Unitarian? I know a lot of people who have found that to be comfortable.

Yeah, that's weird, isn't it? Maybe I'm just overthinking things then.

I think it's because we've always been members of a church.

Now I'm confused! I've been attending two churches for the last 10 years. I go back and forth, one is close to my house and one is more my style but further. One is relatively large and one is small/medium sized. I've never officially become a "member" of either. Becoming a member at one of the churches requires a casual "class" for a couple weeks and something else...can't remember...maybe agreeing with their beliefs? The other just consists of sitting down with the pastor for a little welcoming thing. Both seem very casual about it and there's no difference between members and non-members at either. No one wears an ID tag that says "member" or anything like that. Now that I think about, becoming a member does get a place in their church directory lol.

Both of these are protestant, one is non-denominational and one is Presbyterian (PCUSA). Could the casual feeling of membership and the lack of distiguishing between members and non-members be because of the denomination maybe? or the location (west coast)? Size?

I've never felt any kind of push to become a member at either. I know dozens of people at each church. I attend a couple different groups and have never even been asked to become a member or asked if I was a member.

I don't see the problem. You are donating money and you're using the nursery. Sounds fair to me; you are not trying to get a free ride on the nursery. Should be fine to participate in other activities as well. But then I'm Catholic.

My church growing up (and others I know of) had both church members and "friends of the church," who were active participants but not members. I think that you should feel free to participate in non-Sunday activities as well as volunteering your own time and energy into the church. However, if you'd feel better, talk to a higher-up in the congregation.

That said, I personally found that I'm much more comfortable being part of a church community where I believe in what's being taught. So much larger advice would be to seek out a community where you feel like you can be a full participant (member or not) AND can share the beliefs.

I have no idea if I'm a "member" of my church. I do have a set of pledge envelopes and they asked me to teach Sunday School, but I have no idea if something more is required to be a member. I have not been formally "received" into that denomination.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I WILL say that it's a small church in North Carolina (don't know if that matters) and we do use the church nursery on Sunday mornings. I think using the nursery is my main concern right now.

I'm guessing not a Catholic Church. They never seem to have nurseries or even a nursery program.

What? Of course they do. Not all, but many.

Anonymous wrote:What would be the problem with getting membership? It's clear that despite a disagreement with some part of the doctrine, you still attend and donate so you are clearly not trying to distance yourself from this church. What is the mental hurdle with membership?

(Maybe I don't understand the concept of membership. My church is just a simple form that says where you live and who is in your household. Nothing more. Is there a financial piece that comes along with your church's membership that is burdensome? Is there some kind of requirement that you couldn't fulfill?)

Maybe you're expected to ascribe to certain beliefs which OP couldn't do in good conscience.

What would be the problem with getting membership? It's clear that despite a disagreement with some part of the doctrine, you still attend and donate so you are clearly not trying to distance yourself from this church. What is the mental hurdle with membership?

(Maybe I don't understand the concept of membership. My church is just a simple form that says where you live and who is in your household. Nothing more. Is there a financial piece that comes along with your church's membership that is burdensome? Is there some kind of requirement that you couldn't fulfill?)

Anonymous wrote:I WILL say that it's a small church in North Carolina (don't know if that matters) and we do use the church nursery on Sunday mornings. I think using the nursery is my main concern right now.

I'm guessing not a Catholic Church. They never seem to have nurseries or even a nursery program.

Most churches if you show them the money they're happy to have you there.