This is OP. We've decided to defer at least another year and also plan to hopefully move to fairfax county next year for access to a better public school system (we're in prince william right now). We talked to Auburn and I think they would be a great fit since they focus on the anxiety, behavior, and OT side of things but they're also the most expensive at over $40k/yr so it is what it is.

Maybe PP with 2 kids at SN school and financial aid could share which school that is, to help others, including the single mom who has been turned down for FA?

-not looking private schools, no skin in this game.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another single mom with an SN kid. I don't get offended easily, but you, Ms. $210k OP, have managed to do it. What nerve.

We have two kids at SN schools and a 210k income and we get some financial aid at one that offers it, but only enough to make it comparable to what we would be paying if we didn't need a SN school. Between the two kids, with financial aid, it is over 50k not including other medical expenses and summer care that is needed. It's not easy. No clue how everyone pulls it off. After that, bills and mortgage, we we lucky to save anything at all.

I'm a different single mom of a SN kid. I understand that it's not easy, but you've also listed 2 things (savings, and mortgage) that are out of reach for me right now without paying for private school tuition. The fact that you can still afford these things AFTER tuition, tells me that you're in a far better position than I am.

I'm the pp you quoted and actually a mortgage is cheaper for us than rent thanks to a VA loan (with no deposit needed and lower rates than conventional). Otherwise we wouldn't be able to own. Again, everyone is unique and really HHI tells very little alone! Our "savings" is nothing to speak of.

Yes, but you have those things AFTER tuition. I don't have those things BEFORE tuition. You also have an income that's more than 2.5 times mine, and yet I've been told that I make too much for financial aid at our first choice school.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think so. SN schools don't have big endowments like private schools.

This is true - in part because many of the SN schools are new. Plus they are dependent on parent donations - few are going to have wealthy alums donating even when they are more established. And the parents are already stretched by tuition. The cost of running the school often exceeds tuition so fundraising goes to that gap rather than financial aid. And even for the older more established schools (like Lab and Kingsbury) FA was not historically needed because so many kids were funded. When the funding dried up they weren't able to switch on the FA spigot right away, although at least Lab is starting to but they've had pretty good fundraising in place for a while.

OP, are you still looking? What areas (that you can drive to)? What age? What SNs? We can try to suggest schools if you like and you can call and ask if there is any aid left for 2015-2016.

Anonymous wrote:OP, my general sense after reading this board for years is that for "DC middle class" families, almost always the best approach is to (1) get the best IEP goals and services you can (might need to hire an advocate if your school is difficult) and (2) supplement with private tutoring and therapy.

Your other option is to try and get placement in a private school paid for by the school system but this is really difficult and you might not like the school choices. It sounds like the school you are interested in does not take public placements anyway.

Good luck.

I think this good advice and pretty accurate. I have two kids with mild SNs who are in private school. I knew there was no way we were going to get public funding and I did not bother pursuing it and wasting money and precious academic years. My kids had a 504 plan in their elementary school but I could tell it was not going to be sufficient in helping them keep pace with the curriculum in middle school. So, DH and I made the decision to swallow hard and pay for a private SNs school. Thankfully we make enough to afford it for two but what I have observed and surmised from the other families at the school is they are: 1.) independently wealthy; 2.) have grandparents who pay or have family money; 3.) middle class but get some financial aid and scrape up the rest; or 4.) two working professional parents (like my DH and I). There are no students at the school who are there through public funding. If you are considering taking out a loan or money from your 401k, you are going down a slippery slope and will spend money you will need for retirement, which is never wise.