Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:41
Subject: Re:Would you be a sugar baby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why don't you get married to him. Finish your education, then figure out if you want to continue this relationship or not?
I'm 25. There is no way in hell I'm getting married. I only intend to get marry once in my life to a man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Will you tell your future husband about it if you went through with this plan? You can't spend the rest of your life with someone and keep this from him.
Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:34
Subject: Would you be a sugar baby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is 37 and 24 years younger than my dad. I've had sex with him twice before during drunk hookups. I tend it like older men ( 30-40) so the age difference is no issue.
This changed my answer. If you have already had sex with him, this essentially becomes a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. It doesn't say much for his character that he'd rather offer you money than a relationship, but okay. It's a pretty good deal to pass on. Tuition and free room and board. And it's only for 1-2 years?
Just make sure this is something you can live with. Something you can explain to your husband later without shame. If you can do this and hold your head up high, then it's no one's business.
Before you agree though, make sure everything is absolutely spelled out. Tuition and books, all food and utilities, plus some monthly spending money. Skip the gifts...that's too undefined. He could mean chocolates and flowers, not jewelry you could pawn. Also determine what happens if you meet someone. Does he want exclusivity? What if he meets someone? Under what circumstances could he ask you to leave the house? If he terminates early, does he still pay tuition?
Why would she need to explain this arrangment to her future husband? He's likely running around sowing his wild oats and banging random girls on the weekend while he's single as well.
Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:34
Subject: Re:Would you be a sugar baby?
Anonymous wrote:Don't sell your body, OP. It sounds like you've had a lot of challenges and I know it sucks to be poor, but keep brainstorming for other options (other/better jobs, loans, different school, cheaper city to live in.) Some colleges are willing to give lots of grant money for good students. There has to be a better way and I'm sure you can figure something out. Be confident, respect your ability to master your current challenges without doing something you may regret and/or you won't feel proud of and may want to lie about. Good luck! You'll figure this out!
+1
Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:33
Subject: Re:Would you be a sugar baby?
Don't sell your body, OP. It sounds like you've had a lot of challenges and I know it sucks to be poor, but keep brainstorming for other options (other/better jobs, loans, different school, cheaper city to live in.) Some colleges are willing to give lots of grant money for good students. There has to be a better way and I'm sure you can figure something out. Be confident, respect your ability to master your current challenges without doing something you may regret and/or you won't feel proud of and may want to lie about. Good luck! You'll figure this out!
Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:32
Subject: Would you be a sugar baby?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is 37 and 24 years younger than my dad. I've had sex with him twice before during drunk hookups. I tend it like older men ( 30-40) so the age difference is no issue.
This changed my answer. If you have already had sex with him, this essentially becomes a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. It doesn't say much for his character that he'd rather offer you money than a relationship, but okay. It's a pretty good deal to pass on. Tuition and free room and board. And it's only for 1-2 years?
Just make sure this is something you can live with. Something you can explain to your husband later without shame. If you can do this and hold your head up high, then it's no one's business.
Before you agree though, make sure everything is absolutely spelled out. Tuition and books, all food and utilities, plus some monthly spending money. Skip the gifts...that's too undefined. He could mean chocolates and flowers, not jewelry you could pawn. Also determine what happens if you meet someone. Does he want exclusivity? What if he meets someone? Under what circumstances could he ask you to leave the house? If he terminates early, does he still pay tuition?
Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:26
Subject: Would you be a sugar baby?
Doesn't sound bad to me.
Or you could donate your eggs.
Or you could donate your eggs.
Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:26
Subject: Would you be a sugar baby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would turn it down flat if it were a stranger, but I've known his guys for years. We discussed that he will pay my tuition and I would get gifts, without me feeling like I actually getting cash in hand for our arrangement. It would be 1-2 times a week when he is in town ( travels 1-2 weeks a month).
This arrangement can end whenever I want it to. He has done this once before a couple years back. Honestly I've been struggling badly and I've had to put off school before to save money to pay. I don't want to do that again.
To the pp - Have you been through identity theft? I had a family member take out CC in my name before I even had my own CC. I was just able to get a CC to build credit. Getting negative marks with no credit to start off is really bad. I do not qualify for financial aid or pell grants. The student loans want a co-signer but I have no one willing to co-sign. The ones I do have only cover half tuition, and I was able to obtain w.o a credit check. Trust me, I've exhausted all options for years. I know what I'm talking about.
Serious question but how is this different than prostitution?
oh stop it with the judgment. Most marriages are glorified prostitution.
Not the PP, but if she wants to do it, fine. Our judgement doesn't matter. But if you're having sex with a guy under what is essentially a contract (as described by the OP) then she just shouldn't lie to herself about what it is. "Sugar Baby" doesn't sound like OP is accepting what she's really doing.
Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:24
Subject: Would you be a sugar baby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would turn it down flat if it were a stranger, but I've known his guys for years. We discussed that he will pay my tuition and I would get gifts, without me feeling like I actually getting cash in hand for our arrangement. It would be 1-2 times a week when he is in town ( travels 1-2 weeks a month).
This arrangement can end whenever I want it to. He has done this once before a couple years back. Honestly I've been struggling badly and I've had to put off school before to save money to pay. I don't want to do that again.
To the pp - Have you been through identity theft? I had a family member take out CC in my name before I even had my own CC. I was just able to get a CC to build credit. Getting negative marks with no credit to start off is really bad. I do not qualify for financial aid or pell grants. The student loans want a co-signer but I have no one willing to co-sign. The ones I do have only cover half tuition, and I was able to obtain w.o a credit check. Trust me, I've exhausted all options for years. I know what I'm talking about.
Serious question but how is this different than prostitution?
oh stop it with the judgment. Most marriages are glorified prostitution.
How so?
Men pay the bills the woman sleeps with him.
or
the woman pays the bill and the man sleeps with her
or
the woman pays the bill and the woman sleeps with her
or
the man pays the bill and the may sleeps with him
Or both pay the bills, like most marriages around here?
Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:23
Subject: Re:Would you be a sugar baby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am very much a prude. But this is nothing more than a friend with benefit with more benefits.
You know him, you care for him. You don't love him or want to spend the rest of your life with him.
I think you need an exit plan but otherwise go for it.
No, Friends with Benefits is not one person paying another person for sex. That's called something else.
The question is, would she have a sexual relationship with this man absent the cash? If the answer is no, then...
Better to have uncommitted sex and no payout than uncommitted sex and a payout?
You're weird.
I would not even call this "uncommitted"... they seem pretty clear on their commitment level.
Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:22
Subject: Would you be a sugar baby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would turn it down flat if it were a stranger, but I've known his guys for years. We discussed that he will pay my tuition and I would get gifts, without me feeling like I actually getting cash in hand for our arrangement. It would be 1-2 times a week when he is in town ( travels 1-2 weeks a month).
This arrangement can end whenever I want it to. He has done this once before a couple years back. Honestly I've been struggling badly and I've had to put off school before to save money to pay. I don't want to do that again.
To the pp - Have you been through identity theft? I had a family member take out CC in my name before I even had my own CC. I was just able to get a CC to build credit. Getting negative marks with no credit to start off is really bad. I do not qualify for financial aid or pell grants. The student loans want a co-signer but I have no one willing to co-sign. The ones I do have only cover half tuition, and I was able to obtain w.o a credit check. Trust me, I've exhausted all options for years. I know what I'm talking about.
Serious question but how is this different than prostitution?
oh stop it with the judgment. Most marriages are glorified prostitution.
How so?
In the sense that many women I know marry men whose only redeeming quality is their money. And this includes women in my family.
They marry for MONEY. If you are having sex with someone who is not bringing anything to the table other than their money even if you are married to him, then it's prositution.
Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:22
Subject: Would you be a sugar baby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would turn it down flat if it were a stranger, but I've known his guys for years. We discussed that he will pay my tuition and I would get gifts, without me feeling like I actually getting cash in hand for our arrangement. It would be 1-2 times a week when he is in town ( travels 1-2 weeks a month).
This arrangement can end whenever I want it to. He has done this once before a couple years back. Honestly I've been struggling badly and I've had to put off school before to save money to pay. I don't want to do that again.
To the pp - Have you been through identity theft? I had a family member take out CC in my name before I even had my own CC. I was just able to get a CC to build credit. Getting negative marks with no credit to start off is really bad. I do not qualify for financial aid or pell grants. The student loans want a co-signer but I have no one willing to co-sign. The ones I do have only cover half tuition, and I was able to obtain w.o a credit check. Trust me, I've exhausted all options for years. I know what I'm talking about.
Serious question but how is this different than prostitution?
oh stop it with the judgment. Most marriages are glorified prostitution.
How so?
Men pay the bills the woman sleeps with him.
or
the woman pays the bill and the man sleeps with her
or
the woman pays the bill and the woman sleeps with her
or
the man pays the bill and the may sleeps with him
Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:22
Subject: Re:Would you be a sugar baby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am very much a prude. But this is nothing more than a friend with benefit with more benefits.
You know him, you care for him. You don't love him or want to spend the rest of your life with him.
I think you need an exit plan but otherwise go for it.
No, Friends with Benefits is not one person paying another person for sex. That's called something else.
The question is, would she have a sexual relationship with this man absent the cash? If the answer is no, then...
Better to have uncommitted sex and no payout than uncommitted sex and a payout?
You're weird.
Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:21
Subject: Re:Would you be a sugar baby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am very much a prude. But this is nothing more than a friend with benefit with more benefits.
You know him, you care for him. You don't love him or want to spend the rest of your life with him.
I think you need an exit plan but otherwise go for it.
No, Friends with Benefits is not one person paying another person for sex. That's called something else.
The question is, would she have a sexual relationship with this man absent the cash? If the answer is no, then...
No. Not really. I had many friends with benefits, sometime the benefit was having somebody to talk to, sometimes the benefit was getting my car fixed, sometimes the benefit was being taken on nice vacations, sometimes the benefit is just being seen with a beautiful woman, sometimes the benefit is having you bills paid.
It's okay to have a guy buy you drinks and dinner and you sleep with him but not your tuition.
If it is prostitution in your book the only difference is you were a low price prostitute and she is high priced.
Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:19
Subject: Re:Would you be a sugar baby?
Anonymous wrote:Why don't you get married to him. Finish your education, then figure out if you want to continue this relationship or not?
I'm 25. There is no way in hell I'm getting married. I only intend to get marry once in my life to a man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Anonymous
07/30/2015 14:18
Subject: Would you be a sugar baby?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would turn it down flat if it were a stranger, but I've known his guys for years. We discussed that he will pay my tuition and I would get gifts, without me feeling like I actually getting cash in hand for our arrangement. It would be 1-2 times a week when he is in town ( travels 1-2 weeks a month).
This arrangement can end whenever I want it to. He has done this once before a couple years back. Honestly I've been struggling badly and I've had to put off school before to save money to pay. I don't want to do that again.
To the pp - Have you been through identity theft? I had a family member take out CC in my name before I even had my own CC. I was just able to get a CC to build credit. Getting negative marks with no credit to start off is really bad. I do not qualify for financial aid or pell grants. The student loans want a co-signer but I have no one willing to co-sign. The ones I do have only cover half tuition, and I was able to obtain w.o a credit check. Trust me, I've exhausted all options for years. I know what I'm talking about.
Serious question but how is this different than prostitution?
oh stop it with the judgment. Most marriages are glorified prostitution.
How so?