Anonymous wrote:What are you talking about PP? OP said nothing about her husband lying to her.

He lied about how he got sunburn.

I have a "work husband" I talk about to my actual husband a lot. If I wanted to sleep with the work husband, I sure as hell wouldn't talk about him to the actual husband!

Husband doesn't have a woman who is the same where he works, but he's an engineer and there are not many women around.

What are you talking about PP? OP said nothing about her husband lying to her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has had an emotional affair… this is bad, I’m sorry. I talked about my EA guy to my husband all the time. It’s a way to make it seem like it’s just an innocent friendship when he knows he’s got feelings for her.

This. When you talk about the person to your spouse it normalizes the relationship.

Once married, friends of the opposite sex should be present but distant. A kind of take em' or leave em' approach.

Dunk her. If she floats, she's a witch.

Same logic.

If the friender doesn't talk about the friendee and Jealous Spouse learns they talk to each other a lot at work, that's KEEPING SECRETS, which is evidence of an affair. If the friender does talk about the friendee to Jealous Spouse, that's TALKING ABOUT ANOTHER MEMBER OF SPOUSE'S GENDER, and that's evidence of an affair.

Taken together, that's DCUM.

Not really. We're also dealing with a lie.

*ever

If you FEEL something may be going on, then do not dismiss these thoughts as overreacting. Rarely is a women's intuition every wrong.

What I would suggest is perhaps ask him to introduce you to his new friend, he speaks so highly of her, wouldn't he want you to meet her as well as her meet you?? Who knows? You both may just hit it off + become friends as well.

If you bring up this idea and he is strictly opposed to it or has some lame excuse why you cannot meet her in person, then that should be your answer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has had an emotional affair… this is bad, I’m sorry. I talked about my EA guy to my husband all the time. It’s a way to make it seem like it’s just an innocent friendship when he knows he’s got feelings for her.

This. When you talk about the person to your spouse it normalizes the relationship.

Once married, friends of the opposite sex should be present but distant. A kind of take em' or leave em' approach.

Dunk her. If she floats, she's a witch.

Same logic.

If the friender doesn't talk about the friendee and Jealous Spouse learns they talk to each other a lot at work, that's KEEPING SECRETS, which is evidence of an affair. If the friender does talk about the friendee to Jealous Spouse, that's TALKING ABOUT ANOTHER MEMBER OF SPOUSE'S GENDER, and that's evidence of an affair.

Taken together, that's DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has had an emotional affair… this is bad, I’m sorry. I talked about my EA guy to my husband all the time. It’s a way to make it seem like it’s just an innocent friendship when he knows he’s got feelings for her.

This. When you talk about the person to your spouse it normalizes the relationship.

Once married, friends of the opposite sex should be present but distant. A kind of take em' or leave em' approach.

Key question is does she hunt bobcats.

The first two posts on this page are an excellent argument for OP to take a light and inclusive approach to this instead of an adversarial one. Her DH definitely likes this person. How much and what his intentions are are unknown. If OP makes negative assumptions her DH may feel encouraged to cheat since he's already not trusted.

My husband did the same thing w/ constantly talking about a woman he knew and I'm convinced he had a real crush on her. I don't think anything really happened between them, but I think DH would have cheated if she had been willing. I
was pregnant w/ our second child at the time this happened, but I would have kicked him to the curb immediately if he had acted on his crush.

You're wise to be concerned. Make sure you have a plan if you need to get out of the marriage.

I talked to my dh about a work friend, who happened to be a guy. I had female work friends also. Dh chose to make baseless accusations regarding me and male friend. I did not deserve that, nor did friend.

Suffice it to say-I no longer talk to Dh about ANY work friends and he has no idea what is or is not going on there.